Why do I like George Bush?

[DoYouEverWonder]

Why do I like George Bush? Well first of all, because he was such a party animal back in the old Skull and Bones days. He always had the best stuff and everyone considered him the life of the party. And the girls, oh they would do just about anything he wanted. Lucky dog. Ah, those were the days, too bad none of us can remember them. But maybe that's best, considering the circumstances. You know, with George being President and all.

And it never hurt being a friend of George whenever we got in trouble. Especially since his daddy worked in the highest levels of the government and knew everybody. You could get away with murder and daddy's friends could fix it for you. They even helped me get out of going to Viet Nam. It was hot as heck in the Texas National Guard, but it sure was better then the jungles of Nam.

Yeah, it was during the service that I lost track of old George. He hated being in the service and would find any excuse to get off duty. That's when he kind of disappeared. They would call his name for roll, but no one ever answered.

Then I started seeing him on TV. I heard he was running for governor of Texas. I was so excited. Wow, that's my pal George, I would tell all my friends, whenever we saw one of his campaign commercials on TV. We even started to get invited to all the hottest fund raising events. I'll tell you, these folks know how to party and I was more the happy to contribute as much as possible.

I was really glad George had become governor, after my business got in trouble with that cemetery thing. George called off the dogs and really got me off the hook. I couldn't believe it but he was such a good friend, that he was even willing to lie under oath for me. Now, I call that a real friend. And that's why I still like George.

[Generic Other]

1. I hate loathe and despise Bush. He makes my skin crawl.

He is dog shit under my shoe.He is an incurable jock itch, a festering boil. He's green mold covered leftovers discovered in the back of the refridgerator months later. He's a bounced check, an overdue bill, a ticket for speeding. He's a pursesnatcher, a paroled sex offender dating your sister, a pedophile eyeing your children, a telemarketer, a piece of used toilet paper.

He's the skid marks on an alcoholic's underwear. He smells like chicken shit on a shingle. He's the guest on Jerry Springer who sleeps with his girlfriend's mother. He's an AIDS infected mosquito sucking your blood as he infects you. He's a defective condom, unidentifiable roadkill, putrifying like fat headed to a rendering plant. He's hamburger made of downer cow, a butt sniffing, toe sucking, dumpsterdiving, liverspotted oyster hacked up out of some chainsmoker's lungs.

Oh, did I mention I hate him?