While You Were Sleeping - Democratic Underground

NanceGreggs

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Wed Aug-13-08 10:40 PM
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While You Were Sleeping

Edited on Wed Aug-13-08 10:59 PM by NanceGreggs

Well, well, well, look who just woke up – or, more accurately, who’s rubbing their eyes in feigned astonishment, acting like all kinds of terrible things have somehow happened while they were catching up on their well deserved nappy-time?

Yes, you guessed it! It’s the beloved GOP, aka the Slumber Party, finally waking up to the fact that the country is going down the tubes and – oh, NO! – everyone knows who’s responsible.

Just tune-in to any TV news network these days, and you’ll hear them – the sputtering Let’s Give Bush Whatever He Wants crowd – denying any knowledge of, no less participation in, supporting policies that have led to unprecedented national debt, the outsourcing of jobs, the healthcare crisis, or anything else that has resulted in an angered citizenry that is mad as hell, and will undoubtedly cast their votes this November with a defiant ain’t gonna take it anymore flip of the bird.

“Congress can’t go on vacation until the energy crisis is addressed,” said one GOP Rip Van Winklette recently (and forgive my lack of specificity, as all lard-assed Republicans look alike to me), “because the American people can’t afford to go on vacation due to the current price of gas.” Apparently, Ms Brain-Dead (R) would have us believe that the price per gallon suddenly went from a buck twenty-five to over four dollars just last week.

Where has she been? Sleepin’? It would seem that she, along with her fellow party members, all set their snooze-alarm for one minute to self-destruct, and are now hurriedly doffing their footie-pajamas in order to slip into their knight-in-shining-armor costumes before it’s too late, apparently unaware that it was already too late years ago.

Yes, my friends, the Republican powers-that-be (or were come November) are all rushing to catch the school bus at the last possible moment, clutching a note from mom declaring that even though they slept-in and missed every class since the start of the January 2001 semester, they’re about to dazzle the faculty with their final exam scores.

Too bad that classroom participation counts for 99% of the grade, and the principal wants verification of mom’s signature on what appears to be a forged excuse note.

The problem here is that while elected Republicans were coppin’ Z’s (when they should have been looking after the interests of the constituents who paid for their bankey and pillow), the American voter has been shocked into a state of wide-eyed awareness that has quickly become full-blown insomnia.

After all, it’s hard to sleep soundly – if at all – when the bill collectors keep calling at all hours, the bank is nailing a foreclosure sign to your front door, and the mere thought of losing your job has you too rattled to catch forty winks, no less a good night’s sleep.

But don’t blame your woes on the Republicans, they beg. It’s not like they contributed to the mess we now find ourselves in. It’s not like they voted in lockstep with the whack-job of a president who fed the Constitution into the shredder, started an unwinnable war that would cost the taxpayers billions of dollars and accomplish nothing of value, or destabilized the country’s economy.

It’s not like they deliberately turned a blind eye to what was going on, or the consequences that would result. Surely the American voter is not about stand by and watch an entire Party go over the cliff just because of a minor, eight-year-long asleep-at-the-wheel incident that caused some minor damage to a bumper, a tail-light, and an entire country?

Well, the truth is not only are they going to cheer as they help push that money-guzzlin’ tank over the edge, they’ve already spent their last nickel on marshmallows to roast over the flames of the wreck.

And what could be more in keeping with the losing strategy of the Republicans don’t blame us, we just got here game than profferring a new team captain who is playing Grumpy when the rest of the squad is playing Sleepy?

It seems the Slumber Party has yet to wake up to the truth: you were there, you got us where we are, and the average Joe who’s worrying about his future isn’t about to worry about yours.

Maybe you should have stayed awake at least some of the time. Maybe you should have looked out for your brother a little bit.

So now what’s gonna happen? Obama’s gonna get the title shot outdoors in the ballpark, while John McCain & The Sleepers get a one-way ticket to Palookaville – where, ironically enough, even the Palookavillians are voting Democratic.

Well, as they say, "You snooze, you lose" – and you have, and you will. And pretending you just woke up to the insanity isn’t about to save your sorry asses.