2008 Republican National Convention Proposed Agenda

[Pryderi]

Anyone want to help update it?

http://www.shadowmonkey.net/articles/humor/2008-rnc-agenda.html
2008 Republican National Convention Proposed Agenda E-mail
Written by Dr. Syn
Friday, 10 November 2006

gop_icon The RNC has graciously chosen ShadowMonkey.net as the vehicle for circulating its proposed agenda for the 2008 Republican National Convention. Additional suggestions for program items may be submitted in comments section at the bottom of the page.

7:00 P.M. Opening rant about late-night liberal media news reports
hosted by Pat Buchanan
7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to NRA and opening speech
Charlton Heston
7:30 P.M. Proposal for a Fundraiser
Jack Abramoff
7:35 P.M. Church and State Unification prayer and worship
hosted by Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson
8:00 P.M. Proposal for a Fundraiser
Jack Abramoff
8:05 P.M. Ask-a-page to breakfast program
Mark Foley
8:15 P.M. Evangelical Crystal Meth Toast
Ted Haggard
8:30 P.M. Women in Politics Tea and Book Club
with Phyllis Schlafly and a reading of "Sisters" by Lynne Cheney
8:35 P.M. Find Saddam's weapons of mass destruction rally
Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney
9:00 P.M. Keynote speech: "Gerrymandering, The Good Ol' Days"
Tom DeLay
9:15 P.M. Proposal for a Fundraiser
Jack Abramoff
9:20 P.M. Dept. of State collection to send a Saudi Prince to college fund
Condoleeza Rice
9:30 P.M. "How to not to appear like a crazy former Senator"
Zell Miller
9:40 P.M. "Why I love the military lobbyists"
Randy "Duke" Cunningham, inmate no. 8765432
9:45 P.M. Republican Outplacement Forum
hosted by Rick Santorum, Jim Talent, Mike Dewine, Lincoln Chafee, and Conrad Burns
9:50 P.M. Presentation of Truth in Drug-Free Broadcasting Award to Rush Limbaugh
Anne Coulter
9:55 P.M. "Plausible Deniability - The Art of the Cover-up"
Scooter Libby
10:00 P.M. "How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld were Right about Iraq"
George Allen
10:30 P.M. Nomination of Jeb Bush for President; "It's his turn!"
Barbara Bush
11:00 P.M. "How to Always Carry a Big Stick! - The Power of the Pharmaceutical Industry Lobbyist"
Bob Dole; sponsored by Pfizer
11:05 P.M. "Eliminating the Dept. of Education and National Spelling Bee"
Dan "Potatoe" Quayle
11:15 P.M. Proposal to change presidential eligibility rules
Arnold Schwarzenegger
11:30 P.M. Coronation of Arnold Schwarzenegger as write-in candidate
Karl Rove
12:00 A.M. "How to Succeed in Government Without Really Trying"
Michael Brown; sponsored by FEMA and the Arabian Horse Federation
12:05 A.M. Jack Abramoff drives some former members of Congress back to prison

[C_U_L8R]

1. What no diaper fashion show and restroom meet & greet ?

Oh they must be after hours.

[Hawkeye-X]

2. Well, too bad Heston and Falwell is dead..

or they'd be on it like shit on a stick.

[liberal N proud]

4. They are going to prop them up behind the podium

And play old speeches from them.

When they are finished they will have a "Pry this gun from my cold dead hands" contest.

[sniffa]

3. I remember the 2004 version

and the corresponding DNC version.

[Pryderi]

5. 11:00 P.M. Cindy McCain Oil Wrestles Biker Chicks; Exxon's fundraiser

[blondeatlast]

6. 1:00 AM: Last Rites. nt