Just Checkin' In

[NanceGreggs]

I just wanted to check in with my friends across the aisle, and do a quick inventory of what our respective candidates are contributing to the presidential race.

(Just a reminder to those who rely on the MSM for their information: Our candidate is Barack Obama, and your candidate is someone named McCain.)

Okay, let’s go down the list:

Our Candidate is young, energetic, and enthuses crowds wherever he goes.

Your Candidate is old, lethargic, and induces sleep wherever he goes. Check :thumbsup:

Our Candidate speaks eloquently and engages his audience, whether he uses a prepared speech or makes remarks off-the-cuff.

Your Candidate can’t speak without a teleprompter. He also can’t read a teleprompter. Check :thumbsup:

Our Candidate knows the difference between Sunni and Shia, the current price of gas, and the number of Americans without health insurance.

Your Candidate … uh, doesn’t. He also doesn’t know why he should know such things. Check :thumbsup:

Our Candidate defends his family when they are attacked by the RW, because he’s THAT kind of guy.

Your Candidate warmly embraced the RWers who attacked his family when it was politically expedient for him to do so, because he’s THAT kind of guy. Check :thumbsup:

Our Candidate recognizes that the economy is the most important issue this election, and has outlined his plans to stimulate and improve it.

Your Candidate has stated flatly that he doesn’t really understand our nation’s economy, or how it works. Check :thumbsup:

Our Candidate agrees with the majority of citizens that we must withdraw from Iraq.

Your Candidate is still trying to convince the majority of citizens that “staying the course” is the road to victory – all facts to the contrary. Check :thumbsup:

Our Candidate talks about hope and change, and reminds us that “Yes, we can!”

Your Candidate talks about everyone just shutting up, because things couldn’t possibly be better than they have been under G.W. Bush - even though he is a maverick who is NOTHING like G.W. Bush, and just happens to agree with him one hundred percent of the time. Check :thumbsup:

Our Candidate draws crowds that would fill a large stadium.

Your Candidate draws crowds that wouldn’t fill a small VFW hall - not that they would let him use it in the first place. Check :thumbsup:

Our Candidate is gaining support among Democrats, Independents and many disenchanted Republicans.

Your Candidate can’t even count on the support of his own party’s base. Check :thumbsup:

Our Candidate has caused a significant rise in newly registered Democratic voters.

Your Candidate is still trying to convince long-time Republican registrants to vote for him instead of the "other guy". Check :thumbsup:

Our Candidate makes a speech, and the money pours into his campaign.

Your Candidate makes a speech, and his credibility pours down the drain. Check :thumbsup:

Our Candidate believes in transparency of government.

Your Candidate believes that the inner workings of government are none of our God-damned business. Check :thumbsup:

Our Candidate thinks the answer to the healthcare crisis is to offer affordable medical insurance to everyone.

Your Candidate thinks the answer to the heathcare crisis couldn’t be simpler: Don’t get sick – and that goes for everyone! Check :thumbsup:

Our Candidate believes that the American Dream should be attainable for those willing to work hard.

Your Candidate believes that the American Dream is attainable for those willing to dump a poorer spouse and marry an heiress. Check :thumbsup:

Our Candidate wants a continuing dialogue with the citizenry while he is in office.

Your Candidate wants you to vote for him and f*ck off. Check :thumbsup:

Our Candidate reminds us that we can tackle the problems we currently face in terms of the economy, the military, job losses, infrastructure repair and maintenance, quick response to natural disasters, the environment, healthcare, education, caring for our vets, caring for the elderly, caring for the homeless, outsourcing, immigration, etc.

Your Candidate reminds us that he was a POW, he was a POW, he was a POW, he was POW, he was POW, he was a POW, he was a POW, he was a POW, he was a POW, and he was a POW, etc. Check :thumbsup:

Our Candidate is a winner.

Your Candidate is a loser.

Check. :thumbsup:

[gateley]

1. ....

Check. :thumbsup:

[World Citizen]

6. Did you miss this one?

Our candidate has integrity.

Your candidate is the hypocritical puppet of a RW corporate driven cabal that is ready to lie, cheat and steal... or any other disreputible thing, to win this election.

[gateley]

8. I think you wanted to address that to Nance, not me --

and I think she's pretty much painted that picture.

[World Citizen]

24. well,

i am duely repremanded... is my spelling OK???

[gateley]

26. You have got to be kidding - because you've misspelled 'duly' AND reprimand.

Aren't you glad you snarked?

[World Citizen]

27. wow... you catch on quick

[unapatriciated]

38. lol

:rofl:

[gateley]

44. Huh? I don't get it. Please explain.

Actually, I really do. So I fell for it and you got me. Feel good?

[TomInTib]

2. Check KnR

:thumbsup:

[asdjrocky]

3. Nice.

Brought a smile to my face.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. You got it, my dear Nance...

Checkmate!:thumbsup:

K&R

[Raven]

5. Hah! K&R, you are soooo good Nance! Check and double check!

[Divine Discontent]

7. Off to the greatest page with thee! Our Candidate is a WINNER!

By the time I finished my post and kicking it (I had to check on the chicken for goodness sakes!), you already had another 10 recs, this is that good!

Way to go, Nance!

New Obama Items Weekly!
www.cafepress.com/warisprofitable

[quark219]

30. LOVE that little sign of yours!

Jumpin' Jehosaphat, that's great. We need to print about 40 million stickers like that and put them up everywhere. Love it.

[Divine Discontent]

46. thank you it's an original I made

and I wish I could buy 40 million of em from my cafepress shop and give them out. People have told me they LOVE it a lot... thanks again.

www.cafepress.com/warisprofitable

[yardwork]

9. Another excellent summary!

[MH1]

10. I read Obama's book (Dreams...) and started to read McCain's (Faith...)

It's an exercise I recommend to everyone.

Unfortunately for my study of McCain's book, while I was at the library dutifully picking that up, I also noticed they'd just got in a copy of Chasing the Flame. I forced myself to get through about 30 pages of McCain's book then just gave in to the urge to read something interesting.

Seriously, I think a comparison of the beginnings of those two books is very telling about the two men themselves. (and no, I'm not going to spoil it for any of you who haven't already done this. :evilgrin: Go to Powell's for the first, the library for the second, is my suggestion. :) )

[ChimpersMcSmirkers]

11. K&R! NG

[progressoid]

12. Check.

[grantcart]

13. excellent on all points - waiter give Nance the check

Our Candidate defends his family when they are attacked by the RW, because he’s THAT kind of guy.

Your Candidate warmly embraced the RWers who attacked his family when it was politically expedient for him to do so, because he’s THAT kind of guy. Check


And he sold them so cheap too.

[NanceGreggs]

15. Sold them cheap ...

... ain't that the truth?

I'm no fan of Cindy's - but with her money, she could have bought herself a much better man.

[Cha]

14. Yes, Nance..thanks for this check list.

The mainstream media certainly has their work cut out for them this time.

[George II]

16. Great post, thanks very much. Always a pleasure to read your thoughts.

But, you might want to remind all DUers that THEIR candidate is (or should be) Barack Obama.

Thanks again.

[nc4bo]

17. kickedity-kick Check! GObama! n/t

[ihavenobias]

18. K & R

[Canuckistanian]

19. Check!

Duly noted.

:thumbsup:

:toast: :hi:

[DeeDeeNY]

20. A noun, a verb and POW

:rofl:

[NanceGreggs]

21. ...

:rofl:

[Sunnyshine]

32. ...

:spray:

[SeattleGirl]

22. Check!

:thumbsup:

[1Hippiechick]

23. Am I the only one who laughed all the way through this? This is GREAT!

Edited to add K/R!!!!!

My favorite lines.....:rofl:

"Your Candidate draws crowds that wouldn’t fill a small VFW hall - not that they would let him use it in the first place."

"Your Candidate can’t speak without a teleprompter. He also can’t read a teleprompter."

"Your Candidate reminds us that he was a POW, he was a POW, he was a POW, he was POW, he was POW, he was a POW, he was a POW, he was a POW, he was a POW, and he was a POW, etc."

[MadMaddie]

25. Okay that's the best ever Nance....

Not defending his family from * and Rove was the unmasking of the type of man he is.

<snip>
Your Candidate warmly embraced the RWers who attacked his family when it was politically expedient for him to do so, because he’s THAT kind of guy.
<snip>

K & R

[McCamy Taylor]

28. You convinced me! I'm voting for McCain for POW In Chief! He's qualified.

Obama can get the consolation prize of president.

:headbang:

[BrklynLiberal]

29. Wow!!!!

:yourock: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

[Sunnyshine]

31. Yes he is... and yes WE can!

:kick:
Obama/Greggs '08 :thumbsup:

[DFW]

33. There is only ONE POW that makes a difference

And it involves a guy who is 12 years OLDER than McCain, has twice his energy,
three times his candlepower, a hundred times his creativity, and is the only guy
I ever met who could keep me laughing for twenty minutes straight:

http://www.powentertainment.com/

The only thing McCain does better is put me to sleep, and all I have to do is turn on
late night TV for a Ronald Reagan movie for that.

Czech and Slovak!

[truthisfreedom]

34. Kick-ass, Nance!

Way to go!

[stlsaxman]

35. Wonderful job, Nance!

check! :thumbsup:

[southern_belle]

36. Check

:thumbsup:

[DrZeeLit]

37. Could we send THIS to the Press..all the MSM? Hello, they need to CONSIDER more than the spin cycle.

They need some meat on the bones, some real talking points, from our side.
I'm so tired of them repeating what McCain's camp says, as if it's true, just because he said it.

Sooooo, send this list out to the world!

[Rosa Luxemburg]

39. that's a good idea!

[Rosa Luxemburg]

40. I wonder what a McCain voter looks like?

here he is

[Mira]

41. KnR - A total winner - I smiled all the way through.

[RedLetterRev]

42. As for McKook not being able to fill a VFW hall

I have a bit of inside info on that truth. I have a dear friend who works for a certain call center that is often tasked by the Repig party. Lately they've been tasked with trying to scrape up audiences for McKook town halls. Lessee, here; one day, 16000+ calls, they got 74 takers. Another day, out of 17000+ calls, they managed to get 104 (record haul). About 98% of the responses, once they find out who the magical mystery guest is (they don't find out until the last question) aren't "no" -- they're "hell no and get off my got-damn phone".

Dunno what you might think of the numbers, but from here it dudn look good. I personally think the MSM is trying to brace us for another "close race" (HAH!) and a steal (again).

If you look at news shots of Obama gatherings, no matter how tight they make them, you can't miss that there are throngs in attendance. It's not hard to tell that MSM tighten the shots to downplay the size of the crowds and cut the sound short so as not to tip off the roar of applause. And it's not hard to tell that the shots of McKook are as far back from him as they dare get; you can still tell there are only about 30, 40 people showing up at best. Listen to the applause -- that's a dead tipper if you pay attention. You only get a split second. Obama always elicits a roar. McKook, barely a few polite tea-claps (a southern gay expression for an oh-so-polite form of applause, given indoors at a formal function, performed with two fingers tapped lightly against the wrist. It's also a really nasty snark. I mean it both ways here, heh.)

Make a habit of listening closely to the edits. There's a lot you can tell by what isn't there and how the tail-ends are trimmed. Just sayin'. In short:

Our candidate, rawks. Their candidate: box of rocks.

[bagrman]

43. They don't have a canidate, he's the designated loser.

[butterfly77]

45. Another good one!

this post is a winner..

[SemperEadem]

47. as always, well said

you can also add: "Our candidate lovingly walks his wife to the edge of the stage before speaking and holds her hand while she goes down the steps.

"Your candidate walks ahead of his wife and makes that old woman navigate the stairs on her own while he leaves her behind to go shake the hands of the losers who just listened to his speech. He also called her a 'C-U-Next-Tuesday' in public."

[DesertFlower]

48. how about

Your candidate doesn't know how to use a computer.