[AP,CNN] Clinton employs 4,300 to remove all reference to Mickey Kantor from History.

[Poll_Blind]

SATIRE

Unique, New York - Adding to a 15 million dollar debt already accrued by the campaign is an estimated expenditure from today alone. Last-minute push-polling? Obama yard sign pre-primary "clean up"? Neither. The Clinton campaign has ramped up an incredible effort, likened to the "Manhattan Project", to remove all reference of Mickey Kantor from History.

--snip--

  Kantor, a long-time friend of the Clintons, Chairman of the Clinton/Gore '92 campaign and Secretary of Commerce under President Clinton is under scrutiny for comments made during the '92 campaign. The comments, captured by a documentary film-crew making the award-winning "The War Room", have been posted on YouTube with subtitles.

  Two comments are at issue.

--snip--

  Both the slur against Indianans and the racial slur have caused the Clinton campaign to go into what one senior staffer called "Recollection Removal" mode. 4,000 high-level Clinton staffers have been phone banking since early this morning, randomly calling some of the 150 million registered U.S. voters to "clarify" the issue. For Derrick Wygnar, the day started at 3 am. After arriving at 4 am, he has not left his phone.

  "Hi, yes, can I speak to Mr or Mrs. Anselmo? Hi! My name is Derrick- yes, I know it's early...I...yes...and I just wanted to let you know that Mickey Kantor doesn't exist. No, Ma'am. No, I'm not notifying you of a family member's death. No. Not only that, but even if he did, he'd never be associated with the Clinton campaign. Furthermore, during the years 1993 to 1997, the Secretary of Commerce position in the Clinton administration was filled by a beautiful silver-gray baby wolf cub."

  He hangs up the phone. "I'm not sure that she believed me but I think she was sleepy enough that it might have some subliminal impact."

--snip--

  But for a special detachment of what the Campaign has dubbed "The Super Truth Corps" (S.T.C., pronounced "STUCK") the obstacles are more daunting. Their task is more daunting: Remove all reference to Mickey Kantor from history. Talks with media outlets and libraries and publishing about the purchase and destruction of hundreds of thousands of newspapers, books and other media referencing Kantor have mostly been unsuccessful.

  "The sexism we're facing is just disgusting." Says Shannon Teague, a colonel in "STUCK". But there have been a few successes. "I talked to a librarian in Denver who was willing to play ball. You know what? They're going to be the next ambassador to Paraguay."

--snip--

  Some other members of the S.T.C. have been in contact with Disney as well as Oxford Press and Random House in hopes of removing the words "Mickey" and "Cantor" from the English language entirely and have the unassociated syllables classified as hate-speech.

  "Look, we know it's an uphill battle, but that's why I'm in the Clinton campaign- to fight the battles we can't win and to pretend like it all sort of makes sense, at least to us. And before you bring it up, yes I know the word "cantor" starts with a C and not a K. But, really, can you be too sure that someone else won't know that?"

--snip--

PB

[Coexist]

1. so let it be written...