The Media Has Some Things They Want to Tell You

[Scriptor Ignotus]

(…and some other things that they don’t want to tell you)



Fox News is Fair and Balanced

Al Gore Invented the Internet

Al Gore is Stiff and Boring

George W Bush is manly and you want to have a beer with him

West Palm Beach Elderly Jews meant to vote for Pat Buchanan instead of Gore

A clearly insane and Republican secretary of state can be the state campaign co-chair for a Republican candidate and decide to stop voting when it benefits her candidate, and it’s no big deal

A Republican-appointed and tilted Supreme Court can effectively decide an American democratic election and it’s no big deal (Get over it!)

No One Could Have Predicted 9/11

The fact that President Bush read a children’s book during the crucial moments immediately after being told “The Nation is Under Attack” is no big deal

Iraq has WMD

Saddam Hussein is in collusion with Al Qaeda

The Iraq War will be a cakewalk because America kicks ass

You will die if you vote for a Democrat in November

John Kerry is French and faked his purple heart by shooting himself in the ass

John Kerry likes to windsurf and doesn’t understand Joe Sixpack

George W Bush is manly and you still want to have a beer with him

Republicans are the party of Jesus

Torture is ok if we do it to bad guys

Torture is ok if we do it to people we think might be bad guys

Forget all that, we don’t actually torture. We just haze our prisoners

The fact that the Bush Administration sidestepped the Geneva Convention is not that big of a deal

Your phone and computer have been tapped by the NSA, but– if you’ve got nothing to hide, you’ve nothing to worry about

New Orleans is drowning! (the media actually decided not to phone it in for this one)

The planet is warming

The planet is not warming

OK, the planet is warming, but maybe not because of man-made reasons

Our government lied about why we went to war and it’s no big deal

Hillary Clinton will win the 2008 Democratic Nomination virtually uncontested

John McCain has no shot to win the Republican nomination

Barack Hussein Obama was a muslim and went to a madrassa in Indonesia. He also wants to invade Pakistan for some reason

Hillary Clinton killed Vince Foster

John Edwards pays $400 for all of his haircuts

John McCain is still a maverick

Bill Clinton is a racist

Jeremiah Wright is anti-American and anti-white…




To be continued…

[barack the house]

1. Beautiful post and if that don't make you cut hte cable line nothing will.

[Maccagirl]

2. I have something to say to the media

When I'm not laughing at you, I'm loathing you.

This OP is a keeper. Is there any way to send it to Faux, CNN et al?

[cliffordu]

3. Nice post. Kicked!!

[boppers]

4. You forgot a few:

Al Gore sighs really loudly

Teresa Heinz supports terrorists

Sharks are attacking, run for your lives!

[NanceGreggs]

5. BRILLIANT!

:kick: and REC'D!!!

[Scriptor Ignotus]

19. thanks!

right back at you (that applies to um...all your posts)

[JeffR]

6. DUzy, and freakin' excellent n/t

[chill_wind]

7. What-- "to be continued? " Please don't stop! :-) K&R X 10

Great post!

[Scurrilous]

8. K & R

:thumbsup:

[crankychatter]

9. 4 AM kick

.

[Scriptor Ignotus]

12. why is everybody up so late? haha. - nt

[donheld]

10. Wonderful!

[H2O Man]

11. Very good.

Nominated.

[myrna minx]

13. K&R n/t

[BigDDem]

14. Mr. Fair and Balanced

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/politics/la-na-campaign28apr28,1,2871291.story

[redqueen]

15. But... well... don't we still need to listen to them? And follow their lead on all things

of any importance?

[raccoon]

16. Rec'd. nt

[chill_wind]

17. I love this. :-) GOTTA kick. n/t

[Patsy Stone]

18. Excellent!

K&R

[chill_wind]

20. OMG this thread is still on the GP :-) Kicking once more before it perishes. n/t

[cliffordu]

21. keeeeked!!!

[Seabiscuit]

22. Nice compilation of the absurdities that surround us all...