probable Chimpy acceptance speech at GOP convention

[WI_DEM]

My fellow God fearing, Ronald Reagan loving Republicans. I accept this nomination and in the words of the immortal Ronald Reagan, "you ain't seen anything yet." (applause, smirk) We have accomplished so much in the war on terra in the last three years, but there is so much more I intend to do if the American people re-select-umm, elect me. On the top of my legislative agenda will be to rename the United States of America the Reagan States of America.(Cheering, smirk, and someone yells, "what about the currency!") You bet, every bill and coin will soon have the picture of the great Ronald Reagan on it (applause, smirk) I'm also going to do my best to convince Canada to change its name to Gipperland--and I'll let you in on a little secret, if they don't volunterily change their name to Gipperland--we have our ways of convincing them to do so (smirk--wild applause from the audience).

You know I said it before but it deserves saying again the year of 9/11--the year I took the oath of office was one of the happiest years of mine and Laura's life. But you know what--2004 is turning out to be even better. Thank you Ronald Reagan (applause, smirk)

We all came together after 9/11 it reminds me of how we all came together when Ronald Reagan was president. I think I'm the natural heir of Ronald Reagan. Now as we continue the war on Terra--we must never turn our backs from the goal of remaking the world in our image and let's win one for the gipper!! (tremendous applause!! a smirk and a half)

I'm especially proud to say that my devoted wife, Nancy, I mean--Laura is here at my side. Take a bow, sweetheart (camera pans Laura Bush wearing Nancy Reagan red).

They say that conventions no longer any surprises, but they are wrong. Today I signed the papers which officially changes my name from George W. Bush to Ronald W. Reagan. Vice President Cheney was so taken by what I did that he immediately changed his name to George Herbert Walker Bush. Ladies' and Gentlemen, this November you will have the honor of once again voting for the Reagan/Bush ticket.(Wild Cheers, smirk, confetti falling).

So my fellow Americans do your duty and vote for me, Ronald W. Wilson
Thank you and God Bless Reagan. (Applause, cheers, smirk)
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Hannity: Wow, what a speech by President Bush, er, I mean President Reagan. Powerful--I think the president just clinched the election.

Colmes: Well, I hate to say it since I'm a member of the loyal opposition--but yes indeed, it is going to be difficult for John Kerry to compete with the brilliance President Reagan's address to the convention.

Hannity: So we are in agreement!! amazing. I think Kerry may as well just change his name to Jimmy Carter!!

(guffaws)