My sister-in-law died tonight - we found out around 10.

[Laurab]

She was 50, not sure what she died of yet, but most likely it was related to drugs and alcohol. Her name was Cindy, and although it shouldn't have come as a shock, it still kind of did. My husband left, to comfort his mom and take care of the things that need to be taken care of.

I logged onto DU to kind of take my mind off of it a little and what do I find? About FIFTY threads about the lack of a handshake. Faux outrage about the lack of a handshake - or, possibly real outrage - if true, I suggest you get help.

I cannot believe what my beloved DU has turned into. It truly has, as someone else posted "jumped the shark". If all someone has to worry about is whether or not someone shook hands, then I probably should envy you, but really, I pity you.

There are so many important things going on in this world. There have been so many times I've been able to log onto DU and feel better, that it wasn't until now that I really realized how bad it has gotten. A fucking HANDSHAKE...

[smokey nj]

1. I'm so sorry Laurab.

My condolences to your family. :hug:

[Name removed]

8. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[rhett o rick]

84. Of course you do. You seem to be all about dividing the party. nm

[roguevalley]

86. Your post is uncalled for. What a sorry thing you just posted.

Intended for post #8

[BlackVelvet04]

2. I'm sorry about your sister-in-law....

that's really horrible.



And it's not really about just a handshake.

[CoffeeCat]

3. I'm sorry about your SIL...

That must be so hard and it does put things in perspective.

I think the handshake threads are people being silly. People
are blowing off some steam and having fun.

Take care of yourself and your husband...

:hug:

[JVS]

4. My condolences

[mrreowwr_kittty]

5. I'm so sorry for your family's loss.

You're right about DU right now. This handshake thing is plumbing the depths of lunacy.

Anyway, hope you guys pull through this and our thoughts are with you. :hug:

[EFerrari]

6. Much love to your family. I'm so sorry.

:hug:
:grouphug:

[caligirl]

7. sorry for a terrible loss, the grip alcohol and drugs can have on the

mind and body of a person is so horrible, if people only understood the chemistry alterations to the brain cells that keep a person from recognizing the slow death to mind, body and soul. Its truly tragic.

[Laurab]

Thanks, caligirl ...

That's one thing that my husband and I know a lot about, and it's so painful to watch...she had 3 kids, 2 are in the Army. She wasn't the greatest mother, but she was still their mom. It's easier for my husband and I to understand, but the kids, even though they're older, aren't taking it well.

[caligirl]

32. Your most welcome, just hope to shed light on the truth of the damage

this disease causes to the person. Of course the train wreck for the loved ones is devastating and takes along time to get past. I hope counseling is available, it really feels good to know your not alone in this and helps in really grasping why this is a 'disease'. The mind alterations are purely chemical changes in the cells caused by the alcohols toxicity. This actually reminds me of how lucky I am.

[rumpel]

9. I am sorry for your family's loss, Laurab

and I agree.

Much healing for your family.

[UALRBSofL]

19. Iaurub

In very sorry for the loss of you MIL. Much condolences to you and your family and may God be with you during you and your family's time of loss. Prayers go out to your family.

[UALRBSofL]

24. Laurab

I meant to post SIL(sister-in-law).

[Laurab]

55. Thank you, and welcome to DU. n/t

[NanceGreggs]

10. Sincere condolences to you and yours, Laurab ...

... and you're right.

A handshake? THIS is what people are discussing as though it were some legitimate issue that should be addressed?

We have fallen on hard times, Laurab ... but what is most important now is your own family and what needs to be dealt with. Prayers, good vibes, positive thoughts - whatever it is you and your family need, they are coming your way tonight.

RIP, Cindy.

[Laurab]

14. Thank you, Nance

your post brought tears to my eyes - in a GOOD way.

[NanceGreggs]

23. Just hang in there, Laurab ...

... and comfort yourself here :hug: when you need to. You're not alone, and the porch light is always on.

[FrenchieCat]

11. I am very sorry to hear about the untimely death of your sis-in-law

I am very sorry about this.

I am close to that age. Very, very young.

Please give comfort to your husband and his mother. This will be difficult.

and alas, yes
DU is now mainly for fools. It took me 1/2 hour to figure out what had happened.
DU and the media have jumped the shark.
This primary is taking its toll, and Britney's problems have been
surpassed by handshake gate and other monumental almost occurrences
sillier than any Seinfeld episode could have ever dreamed up..
sad, but not unexpected.

[Laurab]

50. Thank you, Frenchie

I, too am close to that age. I don't know how long it took me to figure out what happened, but I did, and I didn't post what I posted for sympathy, I was just plain disgusted.

Someday it will be back to "normal" - but now I see why I keep coming back - the people in this thread, and those like them.

[DemReadingDU]

79. I am sorry about your SIL

It is really sad and difficult time to lose a family member so young. Please accept my condolences for you and your husband's family.

Du has become rampant with silly threads. I have found it easier to search for a few people and read their threads, then comprehend 50 threads of the same topic. You are right, there are some things more important in life.

[CorpGovActivist]

12. Lori, Is There ***Anything***...

... you need?

:hug:

:cry:

- Dave

[Laurab]

17. The hug is good.

Is your pal ok? I'm worried about him.

And, thank you.....:hug:

[CorpGovActivist]

21. He's...

... on a hellbent mission, with 7 days left until Tsunami Tuesday. I sent him word that he might want to touch base with you.

Here's a http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=132&topic_id=4260441&mesg_id=4260441">little oasis of Zen on the handshake thing.

I am so very deeply sorry for your family's grief and loss. Please let me know if you want to talk.

Just remember you are surrounded by a lot of people here who really care about you.

:grouphug:

- Dave

[Laurab]

33. Dave, you are SO sweet...

and I have to admit I saw that thread and it made me smile. I certainly wasn't referring to that one. I'm ok, really - she'd been a mess off and on for the past 15 years or so. There, but for the Grace of God.....(you know some of my story)....

Thank you!!! :hug:

[CorpGovActivist]

39. Tell You What...

... let's make a pact:

1. Assume we both get to Heaven; first one there has the beer mugs chilled, ready to go.

2. Assume we both are sent to Hell: second one grabs a six pack on the way down.

:toast:

; )

- Dave

[Laurab]

43. I can't do it

Sadly, although beer was my drink of choice, after 22 years of not drinking, I can't even stand the smell anymore! My vice is coffee (well one of my vices)...

:donut:

[CorpGovActivist]

44. OK...

... then I suspect one of us will be stopping off for a baker's dozen of Krispy Kremes (we can warm them down there), and a box o' joe.



- Dave

[Laurab]

47. It's a deal!

But, if you prefer beer, I have no problem with that! I'll just take all the coffee.

You are a very special guy, you know.

- Lori

[CorpGovActivist]

51. Coffee, Beer...

... doesn't matter, just as long as I have something to wash down the donuts!



You're a very special pal, Lori.

:hug:

My deepest sympathies to your entire family.

- Dave

[Laurab]

59. Thanks again.

Especially for the artwork - you sure brought a smile to my face tonight - several times.

I'd be honored to share my donuts with you! Or your donuts...

One last thing - she has 3 kids - two sons in the military. The one who'd been to Iraq shared a lot of stories with me when he was last home. Things he wouldn't even tell his wife - I guess because I'd read a lot of books about it. He was quite familiar with your pals Halliburton and KBR, and the Army isn't as dumb as they think.

[CorpGovActivist]

63. Do the Sons...

... know yet?

:cry:

Many times, I have met returning service members who have more than had their fill of Halliburton/KBR. With a Dem AG who is "onto them," and "sicced onto them" by the President, much will change.

- Dave

[Laurab]

66. Yes, they know - one is in Oklahoma, the other in Florida

I guess my husband is making arrangements through the Red Cross? for them to travel home. The one who had a tour in Iraq is very much hoping for a Dem AG, and has been since 2004. He said everyone in the military he talked to felt the same.

I don't think they ever released the military vote from '04, and I think I know why, too.

I thank you once more, and will say goodnight now...you've helped me more than you know tonight. :pals:

[CorpGovActivist]

68. Call If You Need to Talk Tomorrow

You have my number, right?

:hug:

:pals:

- Dave

[Laurab]

73. I don't think I do...

if you get a chance, pm me or email me - I think you have my email?

:hug:

[CorpGovActivist]

82. Will Do Shortly n/t

[ErnestoG]

13. Sorry Laura. Hugs to your family.

[lisainmilo]

15. sorry to hear about your sister in law

May she rest in peace now....

[roguevalley]

87. addiction is a terrible burden on everyone. I wish only peace and

love to you and your family. Time will help find perspective on this. she didn't mean for this to happen. take care, dear.

[southern_dem]

16. Sorry for your loss

thoughts and prayers to your family.

[SeattleGirl]

18. My condolences, Laurab

That's such a young age.

[dkf]

20. I'm so sorry.

[Lugnut]

22. I'm so sorry Laurab

My condolences to you and your family. :hug:

[NMMNG]

25. My condolences for your sister-in-law

:pals:

[flyarm]

26. my sincerest condolences for you Laurab,your husband and his family...

what a terrible loss..and i will say prayers for your sister in law..may she have peace now..

and how right you are..i posted a little bit ago..5 soldiers died today..yes this place has gone pitiful lately.

My kindest thoughts for your family..your loss is great.

fly

[saracat]

27. My condolences.And I do agree. But then again this is the shallowest primary I have ever seen.

[Tatiana]

28. I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you.

:grouphug:

And yes, this atmosphere has really become toxic of late. It's a shame that a situation such as the one you are experiencing really drives home what's really important.

[bleever]

29. My best wishes to you

and your family.

[angie_love]

30. sorry

best wishes to you.

[HCE SuiGeneris]

31. My best wishes for dealing with the pain of your loss

and embracing the good memories of your SIL. :grouphug:

Pay no attention to the crap here... most of the spew is from planted shills.
Many longer-term DUers are biding their time in other forums.

[GoldieAZ49]

34. My sympathies on your loss

of your sister in law to you and your family, even when it is expected it is still a shock. I have lost several members of my family in the past few years.

Thank you for the info about DU also. I have not been here very long and was shocked over the big deal and all the threads over a handshake or lack thereof.

Hopefully it was just a full moon or something.

[Laurab]

46. Thank you, Goldie and Welcome to DU

You arrived to a very different DU than I came to, but I've never been through a primary on here before. All I can tell you is - it's got to get better. I think a lot of long-time DUers are waiting out the storm. Any other time, I could have come on here and found interesting and important things - now, you have to really look to find them.

[GoldieAZ49]

62. Thank you

I hope it is informative

[CitizenLeft]

35. my sympathies to you and your family

...and to Cindy's family.

[MonkeyFunk]

36. I'm so sorry for your loss

You and your family will be in my thoughts.

[busymom]

37. I'm so sorry to hear about your SIL

That's terrible news...

[sandnsea]

38. Sorry for your loss

We need to make sure health care includes quality drug and alcohol treatment too. Wishing you and your family comfort and stength during this difficult time.

[Jed Dilligan]

40. I hope she was at peace with her family

My aunt died of acute alcohol poisoning. She'd fought with my mom for ten years and they never made up.

:hug:

[Tom Rinaldo]

41. That is a horrible shock and devestating news to you and all who knew and loved her

It seems cruel the way the world goes on in foolish ways at a time like this for you. All of us here on this thread have paused for a moment in solidarity with you. I am really sad to hear this happened.

[Laurab]

42. Thanks so much to all of you....

That was the oddest thing - I was so frustrated, posted that and I feel SO much better just from reading all of your responses. The heart of DU IS still there.

:grouphug:

[shireen]

45. my condolences to you and your family

times like this really puts things into perspective. You're right, this handshake controversy on DU is just plain dumb.

Hang in there ...

[Beacool]

48. My condolences on your loss.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[emilyg]

49. Love and Peace to you and your family.

[buzzard]

52. Sorry for your loss I also found out a highschool friend died due to alcohol complications, it is

truly a horrible disease the last number on her phone was the dial a bottle.

[calimary]

53. Yeah, I know what you mean. There - um - ARE some things that are

more important.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I just write most of this off as perhaps a culmination of the abject AGONY we've all endured for the length of this miserable period in our nation's history. It's starting to get to us. Maybe it's like an inmate going berzerk after years and years and years in prison, on the eve of his scheduled release. I think we're just all so strung out about what we've had to endure and how we've sobbed over our country and what scraps of our Constitution have survived. And the fact that the end is so close, and yet SO far.

Maybe it's just that. Maybe we're all just getting a big case of the vapors. Too much campaign season on the brain. I think.

Anyway, my condolences. You have better and more profound things to keep your attention than this little piddly shit.

[PresidentObama]

54. Wow. I wish you and your family the best in this difficult time.

[Jennifer C]

56. Very sad news, Laura

My sincere condolences on your loss.

[grantcart]

57. I am sorry to hear about your day

I spent the day looking at the remarkable news watching a family that has been torn by so much loss inspired by a guy

who is talking about his grandmother sitting in a house in Africa and thinking this is one of those days Ill always remember.

Went to work came back and am still trying to figure out what the hell they are talking about on the handshake.

I found your post and it brought me back to watching the Kennedy's and what was happening today.

Earlier in the day I called my adult daughter and told her that watching Obama win on Saturday and the events today was one of the happiest days of my life. She didn't understand and I tried to explain to her what I went thru April 1968. It was odd because she is of mixed parentage and is married to an Haitian-American but didn't understand how those events had effected some of us.

It feels as if history is overtaking events and that the country is turning the corner on a major historical pivot. I am watching republicans comment sincerely that they are being moved by someone they don't agree with politically. And yet here that sense of historical movement, something that will eventually be written about in as much detail as the Dredd Scott Decision or the Missouri Compromise, something that 30 years ago is likely to be featured in movies, is lost for many that are watching in real time all that can be seen is who shook whose hands.

From your post you sound like a wonderful person, the kind of person I wish was my neighbor. I hope that your husband and mother in law are doing well

[Laurab]

64. What a beautiful post.

You sound like a wonderful person, as well. It was really something to see the Kennedy's together - especially Caroline who doesn't like the spotlight much, and who has endured more than any one person should endure. I'm glad my post took you back to the important things.

[grantcart]

65. thank you

[Colobo]

58. My condolences, Laurab.

[zulchzulu]

60. My condolences to you and your family

I hope everyone is doing as well as can be with that kind of tragic news.

[Inchworm]

61. Sorry sweety

I'm lighting a candle.

:hug:

[Laurab]

67. Thanks again, to everyone.

:grouphug:

[WildEyedLiberal]

69. I'm really sorry Laura

:hug:

And yeah, this place is not the place to come looking for solace or peace. At least not GD:2008 Deathmatch, at any rate. That's why I bookmarked my favorite forum and pretty much only read it and the lounge. GD is way too nasty, petty, and hysterical for me.

[Laurab]

85. Thank you. I like that name.

"GD:2008 Deathmatch" is pretty appropriate.

:hug:

[donheld]

70. I'm so sorry for your loss

We all have gotten way to carried way with all kinds of crap lately.

[ClayZ]

71. Condolences to you and your family.

:grouphug:

[jackson_dem]

72. You have my condolences. Stay strong

[goodgd_yall]

74. I'm sorry for your family's loss

[Hekate]

75. Condolences on your family's loss. May your SIL rest in peace with her troubled life over...

...and may you all find peace as well.
:hug:

Hekate

[dailykoff]

76. Sorry to hear this.

:grouphug:

[H2O Man]

77. I am sorry

to hear about the death of your sister-in-law.

Your friend,
Pat

[Hart2008]

78. Please accept my deepest condolences for your family's loss.

With regard to the rest, I wish they would limit how many threads go up here.

The nonsense frequently buries the serious discussion and argument.

[City Lights]

80. You and your family have my deepest sympathy over the death of your SIL.

:hug: Peace to all of you. :hug:

[NikolaC]

81. So Sorry

For your family's loss. The flap over a handshake does seem very inconsequential when one considers what is going on in this world.

[Mnemosyne]

83. .

:hug:

[Barack_America]

88. Very sorry to hear that.

Best wishes to you and your family.

[Juan_de_la_Dem]

89. Sorry for your loss

[GardeningGal]

90. I'm sorry for your loss.

:hug:





And.....







Damn, I wish I could recommend a thread more than once!

[Olney Blue]

91. I'm so sorry for your loss, Laurab.

[Raejeanowl]

92. I'm Sorry That You Lost Her

My condolences to your family. I don't know if any writer of consequence said it better before me, but I eulogized my grandmother with an emotional epiphany on the point that, however well-prepared the mind, the heart can never learn to anticipate the reality of death.

And I'm sorry that we are forgetting what's really important in our lives and subjecting ourselves and you to this sandlot bickering about who has the biggest and best political pr*ck right now.

[AtomicKitten]

93. Too young! My condolences.

[EffieBlack]

94. I'm really sorry.

[Shine]

95. My deepest condolences to your family in this time of loss, Laurab

:hug: yes, it's times like these that we realize what REALLY matters...and it sure as hell ain't the drama over a handshake. Hang in there. :hug:

[OzarkDem]

96. So sorry for your loss

Ignore the disruptors here. Once the primary is over, most of them will disappear as quickly as they appeared. Their jobs are usually done once the primary is completed and they're given other assignments or sent to the unemployment line.