*******I WILL NOW PRETEND TO HAVE JUST MADE UP MY MIND!!!!*****

[alcibiades_mystery]

For a long time, I struggled with the candidates. Who to choose, who to choose? What a dilemma. Then, I settled on somebody. This was a few weeks ago, maybe even a few months. In order to perfectly time my support, however, I have decided to announce only today, and I will furthermore pretend that I just came to this decision based on the bad actions of other DU posters, because that's the kind of passive aggressive douchebaggery I traffic in.

Supporters of Candidate X have been atrocious, and their behavior has pushed me to my fake decision, which I now announce LOUDLY, with lots of stars and stuff*********, just to make good and sure that the offending supporters know they caused it, and feel bad about themselves!!!! How ya feeling now, offending supporters? It's all your friggin' fault, you big nasty babies!!!!***********

Supporters of Candidate X, furthermore, have offended my age group and gender and race and hair color and toothpaste brand to a point that defies common decency. Here are some more stars: *********. And some additional typographical symbols that indicate disdain////////. They are lower than snailshit, and it's all their fault that everybody on my block in Chicago is voting against their candidate, HARRRUMPH! Furthermore, I will now proceed to place smiley symbols and general chest-puffery indicating that my age group will reign supreme in the end, because that's how I roll, kiddos, and you're about to get a taste of it, ya heard?

This is how we do in my generation: :spank:

BooYAH! ************************* More stars!!!!

Now I will pretend to end this fake sudden decision announcement with some more self-righteous fakery, that's all about mer and my people overcoming great odds and the very nasty nasty nasty threads of Candidate X's supporters, who don't know what they're in for now that I'M in the game supporting CANDIDATE Y. Yizzzzzzzooooooooooo!

[BeatleBoot]

1. I used to like candidate X, now I don't. This is completely unrehearsed.

It is funny, I just filter it out.

:rofl:

[NastyRiffraff]

2. LOL! Perfect!

Who hasn't seen many, many of these threads? :applause:

And K&R so more people can read this. Not that it will change the behavior of the boneheads, but because it's funny!

[The Magistrate]

3. Completely Understandable, Sir, If Your Brand Of Toothpaste Was Insulted

There seems no bottom to the debasement of our Democracy these days....

[H2O Man]

9. It's a plot.

Those who deny the existence of the plot are in on it. So aren't those who pretend to admit there is a plot. The undecided are the ones you really can't trust.

[alcibiades_mystery]

10. The media is obviously behind Aquafresh 100%, and is trying to influence our decision!!!!

You heard it here first!

[The Magistrate]

14. You Cannot Trust Undecideds, Sir, That Is Certainly True

"A man should make his decision in the space of seven breaths."

[H2O Man]

27. They use

corporate tooth paste.

[The Magistrate]

28. Well, Sir, You Try And Get Kids To Use Baking Soda

There is a real world out there, you hear me?

[HughMoran]

21. lol

:rofl:

[gateley]

4. I can understand your support of Y! Congrats on choosing a candidate! nt

[robbedvoter]

5. If you are mocking my decision - it's quite low. I have been honest and explained my process.

But questioning people's honesty just because they don't support your guy - another nasty feature of the DU primaries.
Like my candidate - I can take it.
I can face myself in the mirror, I don't really need YOUR trust.

[alcibiades_mystery]

11. Huh?

:rofl:

[Occam Bandage]

25. It's like you hold up a rorschach blot, and they say,

"I would never do that with my mother!"

[alcibiades_mystery]

26. Bizarre

[FlyingSquirrel]

6. Anybody who likes Crest toothpaste deserves the candidate they get. n/t

:donut:

edit to insert smiley I've never used before

[alcibiades_mystery]

8. I can't believe your behavior

Aquafresh is the downfall of our democracy!!!

[Kucinich4America]

7. Candidate Z is still in the race, damn it!

Never mind what the corporate toothpaste makers say about it. :mad:

BTW, Tom's of Maine is the best.....
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41qzj89pIbL._AA280_PIbundle-6,TopRight,0,0_AA280_SH20_.jpg

[Yael]

13. Hey -- thats my brand!

Pepperminty freshness and no flouride. *YAY*

[alcibiades_mystery]

17. Fascist!!!

[Yael]

22. Nice post, Hitler

:P

[Der Blaue Engel]

12. You have now convinced me to vote for Candidate X

Congratulations, Y-Bot!

:rofl:

[alcibiades_mystery]

16. You'll never get the chance, you cult following X-inista!

NEVER!!!!!!

[Proud2BAmurkin]

15. lol

[MoonRiver]

18. LOL

OMG, I can't stop laughing!! :D :D :rofl:

[AtomicKitten]

19. There's a lot of chest-puffery going on around these parts.

I think you need more smilies! ;)

[boston bean]

20. This is a copy cat thread or a calling out thread.

[Lerkfish]

24. try growing a sense of humor

I've seen this type of thread for all the major candidates, so this humor thread is not really singling out a particular group.

[Lerkfish]

23. happy to rec'd this thread!

thanks for the laugh

[alcibiades_mystery]

29. Handshake kick

Says eat a dick...