I had high hopes for Obama.

[Midlodemocrat]

When he gave the keynote speech, I had great hope that we were finally going to see an end to the diviseness that has pervaded this country.

Alas, it is not to be.

Some of you may know that in 2006, my husband underwent an emergency quadruple bypass. A surgery which the surgeon himself didn't think would have a happy ending. At the hospital, no one asked me to see any 'papers' or 'identification', it was just assumed, correctly, that we were legally married.

In retelling the situation to two friends of mine who happen to be a same sex couple with a child, a very sad look happened across Cathy's face.

Looking across the room at her SO, she said 'that won't happen for us. Julie's mom has already indicated that she would do everything in her power to keep me out of the hospital room and move forward with a custody battle.'

Epiphany? You might say that. Having had gay and lesbian friends for many years, I was struck dumb at how ignorant I was of the problems they face because of who they love.

If Obama can't see that it is wrong to embrace a homophobe, I can't support him. I will vote for him in the GE if he is the candidate, but I won't send him a dime and I won't campaign for him.

I had such high hopes.

Flame suit on.

[MNDemNY]

1. Hope to Change? Gobama

[Fresh_Start]

2. Civil rights should be for all Americans

We are very close to a gay couple who face similar fears.

I'd also add that 'anchor babies' are Americans, there's been some effort by the 'friad of immigrants' to disqualify their citizenship. I believe that is also a civil rights issue

[Evergreen Emerald]

3. very touching post.

you made me cry.

[ccpup]

4. I hear you

When my first partner suddenly passed away when I was 22, his parents from Michigan kindly told me to ignore his Will, vacate our apartment immediately, give them our cars and look the other way while they ignored his express wishes. Oh, and I was not to attend the funeral for fear of being questioned about who I was. And had it not been for my natural ability to just do what I want regardless of what people tell me NOT to do, they would have successfully banned me from the hospital during his last moments. The hospital -- Cedars-Sinai in LA -- knew me, though (we had donated art to their AIDS ward recently), and knew I had every right to be there, whether or not I was "family".

Thankfully my Beverly Hills attorneys smacked down their podunk Michigan lawyer and all was left as he wanted, but there's still a bad taste in my mouth to this day nearly 17 years later.

The fact that Obama is now working again with someone who runs one of those Cure the Gay Centers makes me ill.

[Binka]

17. How Horrible For You

Those parents should be totally ashamed of themselves. My youngest son is gay and I love him so much I love whom he loves as well. Sheesh these fucking knuckle dragger's need to go back to the stone age. I just will NEVER understand how a parent could reject the sexuality of their child. Actually I'm glad I don't understand it. It is despicable, cruel, and SELFISH. Sorry for your loss. :hug:

[ccpup]

20. they'll never be ashamed of themselves

because they never looked at his relationship with me as "right". They were also upset that his financial success -- which they had been so proud of -- was going to benefit me and not them or his siblings (all of whom we barely heard from and who I never met until the funeral). In the end, it really was about money and, unfortunately, the had to sell one of their properties -- they were hardly paupers and had several homes in the Midwest -- in order to pay my legal fees. Not that we didn't warn them ahead of time that, if they continued with the lawsuit, that would happen. But they insisted on moving forward, so ...

Yech! It's still such a bitter pill, but I appreciate your Response. And the hug.

[Binka]

23. Of Course Money Was Involved

My ex is in total denial about Ian and I know the next step is going to be punitive from him. Ian won't care, he doesn't want his Dads money just his respect and love. But if Mark can't accept Ian's choice of a partner, Ian knows those things will be lost from the relationship. It is Mark's total loss. Sad though.

[LostinVA]

32. I'm so glad Haruka and I have complete legal protection here in NJ

But, we should have it OUTSIDE of here, and everyone in the whole country should also have it.

Those people are evil.

:pals:

[Midlodemocrat]

29. My first experience with that of which you speak was in the 80s.

A co-worker's SO passed away and THANK GOD, her home with her SO was in survivorship. The deceased's family came in like vultures to remove any and everything of value from the house. They contested the life insurance, the mortgage, everything.

It was beyond horrific. I'll never forget her despair.

[terrya]

5. Disillisionment doesn't begin to describe it.

He's mentioned embracing gay and lesbian people. He mentioned in his book the pain he felt when a lesbian couple mentioned how they couldn't have their long time committment legally recognized.

You know...what's disillusioning is that I sort of believed it. I sort of felt "yes, he does care". I just didn't feel that when Clinton and Edwards talked about their committment to GLBT equality...even, let's face it, none of the three supports marriage equality.

And now...McClurkin and Caldwell. Some one put it perfectly...it's like we've been tossed under the bus, run over and over again, and doused with gasoline and set on fire. It feels exactly like that.

Yes, "DOMA and "DADT". Yes, they're horrible. Yes, they're wrong and discriminatory. Yes, Hillary Clinton has homophobes who have endorsed her. Yes, she should speak out against them.

It's just that...with Obama, I began beleiving him. I guess that's a failing of mine.

And thank you for your post, Midlo. That put things into perspective perfectly.

[alarimer]

6. I agree

The whole McClurkin thing (and now this other homophobic "advisor" or supporter- I am not clear on whether or not he is officially an advisor) has left a bad taste in my mouth. I think that all our candidates (except Kucinich) has issues with civil rights for gays. But Obama seems to be the worst. I do not know if he is deliberately trying to pander to homophobic elements among independents or among African-Americans or if it is just an error in judgment but it does not bode well for the progress of human rights if he is elected. Of course he would be better than any Republican but that may not be saying much as it looks right now.

There are a few issues that I consider to be paramount and not amenable to compromise: civil rights (for all and that includes gay marriage) and women's right to choose. I am not willing to throw any of that under the bus or "wait until the time is right". The time is now.

[AlCzervik]

7. it's disappointing.

[Orangepeel]

8. It makes sense for you not to support him in the primary --

(personally, I'm supporting Edwards and will otherwise remain neutral until a D nominee is chosen)

But, should he be the nominee, does it really make sense not to give him full support? Yes, he is using homophobic bigots to campaign and that is very disappointing and disrespectful to the LGBT community and all of us who support that community. But he does have a record of supporting gay rights, as he has voted against a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage and sponsored an IL anti-discrimination law that includes sexual orientation and gender identity. He also claims to support granting your friends all the rights of any other married couple, including the power to make medical decisions and adoption rights (although he is stupidly hung up on the word "marriage").

Compare that to who he would be running against in the general election. That person (unless maybe it is Guiliani, who it won't be), will have a record of working against all those things.

So, should Obama be the nominee, the alternatives will be someone who uses homophobes to campaign but will move society forward on LGBT issues (based on both record and rhetoric), and someone who not only embraces homophobes but also promises to move society backward.

It is unfortunately that to many of us on the left, the choice in November is going to be between someone who will make things only a little bit better and someone who will make things worse. That's true not only on human rights issues but on almost everything. But, there it is. I'm going to work as hard as I can for the D nominee, whomever it might be, because the alternative will be bad, bad news in so many ways.

[LostinVA]

37. She said she would support him in the GE

[Orangepeel]

40. she said vote, but not contribute or campaign.

which of course is her right and her choice.

Me, I'm going to campaign hard against the republican nominee, no matter who the democrat is.

[bicentennial_baby]

9. I was going to post a similar OP...

But yeah, agreed, 100%.

:yourock:

[IndianaJones]

10. don't beat yourself up...some people are just naive. nt.

[dkf]

11. You can't change people's minds if you don't talk to them.

Communication can be a way to fix things. Yes Obama associates with people who are anti-gay, but he is trying to change their hearts and get them to see how wrong they are. I do think he has a gift to inspire people to see things differently. But it does take time.

According to some posts, Donnie McClurkin is an "ex-homosexual". The man has issues. If Obama can change this man's heart, maybe he can change the world. I hope he tries because it must be hard indeed to be in such self-hatred and self-denial.

I understand why you are disappointed in him. But yet I think he would sign pro-GBLT laws and would advocate for them. That can be powerful stuff.

[ThatPoetGuy]

15. No, he's not trying to change their hearts

and that's despicable spin.

He gave a speech in response to the McClurkin fiasco, and he referred to gays and lesbians as "our brothers and sisters," is his typical, church-politician rhetoric. His speech deliberately didn't say whether he thinks it's okay to be gay; he left it open to interpretation. He refused to condemn the bigotry, and he left it open to interpretation whether he thinks "our brothers and sisters" should be re-educated into heterosexuality.

Barack Obama has used his campaign to increase the exposure of Donnie McClurkin and Caldwell. Both of them have a larger following now, with more support and more money, thanks to Barack Obama. McClurkin and Caldwell seek to harm GLBT teenagers; Obama made it easier for them.

[Jamastiene]

18. "maybe he can change the world."

I just hate to interrupt your fairy tale, but the minute you put the above quote in your post, you made me think of some song lyrics that fit it perfectly. Basically, this song is saying you believe you can change the whole entire world, with just a song or a speech, but that just isn't the case. That is not how things are done in the real world.

Obama needs to shit of get off the pot. Others HAVE supported gay marriage (Kucinich) and have a better record on standing with the GLBT community in ACTIONS as well as WORDS.


Awful
By Hole

Music: Love, Erlandson, Auf Der Maur, Schemel Lyrics: Love

Swing low sweet cherry
Make it awful

It's your life, it's your party, it's so awful
Let's start a fire
Let's have a riot! Yeah it's awful
It was punk
Yeah, it was perfect now it's awful
They know how to break all the girls
like you
And they rob the souls of the girls like you
And they break the hearts of the girls

Swing low, cherry, cherry
Yeah it's awful

He's drunk, he tastes
Like candy, he's so beautiful
He's so deep like dirty water
God, he's awful
You're lost, oh, where's your daddy - it's so
awful

And they royalty rate all the girls like you
And they sell it out to the girls like you
To incorporate little girls
Hey, run away with the light
Run away it's divine
Let's run away, yeah, tonight and
We'll steal the light of the world

Swing low, sweet cherry, yeah, it's awful
You're ripe for the picking, it's so awful
You've got your youth
Don't waste your money
Yeah it's awful
I was punk!
Now I'm just stupid!
I'm so awful
Oh, just shut up you're only 16

If the world is so wrong
Yeah you can break them all
With one song
If the world is so wrong yeah you can take it
all
With one song


Swing low sweet cherry
Make it awful
They bought it all, just build a new one,
Make it beautiful...yeah

Yep, Obama and Hillary are giving the GLBT community the same old song and dance as the Republicans always do. We are just calling them like we see them.

[mondo joe]

35. This is full of shit. Would you say the same if Edwards used KKK members for outreach?

How about if Hillary used Don Imus?

[bicentennial_baby]

12. Kick

:kick:

[donheld]

13. The more I hear the more disillusioned I get

Obama's not the man I had hoped.

[sniffa]

14. K&merceR

:thumbsup:

[Jamastiene]

16. Thank you.

:hug:

I could not have said it so eloquently myself. My hat is off to you. :yourock:

Kicked and Recommended.

[mitchtv]

19. No more Homophobic than the other two

But what adumb ass politician. Doesn't he know that the gays don't get thrown off the bus until after the convention?.His willingness to play politics with the issue is a big mistake. California will be Baracks's Waterloo

[ccpup]

21. and New York and New Jersey as well as Pennsylvania

he's really marching with two left feet these days. Perhaps he should get new advisers?

[Rex]

22. I really didn't set the bar very high. Clinton/Obama/Edwards are all

potential threats to the GOPs existence. They lose so much if any of the three were elected. I personally like DK, but will take what I can get. Like picking the bones of a dead carcass, sad yeah I know. Sad. Pathetic. Wrong.

Then again, we could get stuck with President Huckabee. :crazy: On second thought, no.

[NMMNG]

24. K&R

:hi: my friend.

[Skittles]

25. once again, I saw through him from the start

very hard to fool me - yes INDEED

[Hutzpa]

26. I see you're on a roll...

third one, are you being paid for this? I would like to know
maybe I can contribute.


:shrug:

[Midlodemocrat]

27. Would you like to link to that roll?

Cuz you're completely full of shit.

[Bluebear]

28. What a hell of a lot of nerve you have, dissing a great progressive like Midlo.

Shoo.

[LostinVA]

34. And let me add: scat

[La Lioness Priyanka]

30. yeah anytime some supports gay rights clearly they are being paid to.

:eyes:

[LostinVA]

33. You TOTALLY just overstepped -- Midlo doesn't need to prove herself

To you or ANYONE on this board. She's a true blue Dem, and a long time staunch supporter of GLBT rights.

She's kept herself out of the candidate arguments until now. This is apparently something that pushed her to comment.

[mondo joe]

36. Instead of accusing other DUers, maybe you should defend your own willingness

to work with bigots.

[NMMNG]

41. WTF are you talking about?

Midlo has been a staunch supporter of LGBT rights, as well as a good friend to many here on DU for a long time. That's more than I can say for a lot of people, you in particular.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

i cried when obama made that speech. i thought he was the future of our country, i later found out

he doesnt really care about me so long as he can get the bigoted vote.

i am very very disappointed in obama.

edited to remove extra t from future

[LostinVA]

31. You told me this story once in person

I had always liked you before that day... after I saw the sincerity and pain in your face, I started loving you. You're such a wonderful person and a great GLBT ally.

:pals:

Even if you like Barefoot.

[Tyler Durden]

38. Shit in one hand, "Hope" in the other....

...see which one fills up first.

FUCK hope. I judge on ACTIONS, and Obama's "Actions" have been "la de da, I'm looking the other way, they're Christians, and I need the support, la de da."

Obama is not a liar, he is a man of "Half Lies," which is infinitely WORSE.
Attributed to Spencer Dryden, head of the "Arab Bureau" during WWI; one of the men responsible for the continued Imperialism in Arabia:

"A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it."

[Beausoir]

39. I will have a very hard time voting for him if he makes it to the GE.

It makes me ill. Having to vote for someone who so obviously doesn't care about people I love.