There Must Be A Pony!

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This week's red hot blog topics: New Yorkers refuse to let the terrorists win; no-one (except FOX) has ever heard of K-Ville; Gidget gets FOXed; Kerry gets cyber-tasered; Petraeus got Betrayus-ed long before Moveon.org's ad; got a date for the Purity Ball yet?; don't sit under that shady tree with anyone else but white people; and some brilliant DUers tell it like it is. All this, plus so much (FOX censored-noun) that there must be a pony. Enjoy!

Were You There?

On Sept. 11, 2007, many New Yorkers decided that the terrorists won't win. NYC copywriter/blogger copyranter notes:

A sign that New Yorkers are finally moving on.


Were you there? First, warm-up band I am the World Trade Center brought the house down with an absolutely explosive pyrotechnics show. Next the headliners, dressed in full HazMat suits, played a covers set that included I'll Stop The World And Melt With You, We Didn't Start The Fire, and Crumblin' Down (lame, I know - BLOW ME). For one night, this night, the terrorists did not win.

Ponies for everyone in New York! You may now be able to celebrate life in NYC, but...

Were You There When The Levees Broke?

The people who were there and lived to tell about it don't have a very high opinion of FOX's new show, "K-Ville." I have to admit, it never dawned on me that the K stood for Katrina until Google set me straight. The best local reaction to K-Ville comes from New Orleans resident, We Could Be Famous. Here's a snippet, but read the rest:

Nobody from here calls the city K-Ville. That is an insult. We live in New Orleans and we want to rebuild New Orleans. K-Ville is a place that was forced upon the residents because of government's inability to provide levee protection. K-Ville is a place that is being made permanent by government's failure to aid the rebuilding process, or even provide social services. Has the rest of the country abandoned New Orleans? Is everyone now just resigned to K-Ville? That hurts. Does anyone call Manhattan 'Nine Eleven City?'

The weirdest line of dialogue in the show: "I'm a black man. I use hot sauce." No ponies (or even repeat watchers) for your show, FOX. That being said, FOX News (cough) has been all over this next item, and not in a good way...

Were You There (At The Kerry Forum)?

Sorry, Taser Kid. You can't say blow job at a university event and expect organizers not to turn off your mic. 19,557 Google blog hits later, Andrew Meyer's wish for fame is coming true. Take a look at the diverse opinions on the incident and decide for yourself who's the hero and who's the villain. Personally, I see no heroes at all. That being said, tasering an annoying know-it-all is an interesting idea, but who would decide who's annoying and who's not? There's that slippery slope again. No ponies awarded to anyone in this affair.

You Can't Say (FOX Censored-Adjective) On TV Either!

It's official. FOX f*&ked Gidget, along with the rest of us. Think Progress has the complete censored Sally Field quote, as well as the video. The most hilariously offensive part of the Emmy Awards broadcast, however, was (alleged) closet-case Ryan Seacrest asking the audience if his costume looked gay. Hypocrisy is the biggest winner on the F*&Ked Up FOX TV Awards Show. Here's what Sally Field actually said:

"Surely this (award) belongs to all the mothers of the world," she stated. "May they be seen, may their work be valued and raised. Especially to the mothers who stand with an open heart and wait. Wait for their children to come home from danger, from harm's way, and from war. I am proud to be one of those women."

"If mothers ruled the world, there would be no –"

"god-damned wars in the first place."

And, if world sympathy is the measure, Sally Field gets the pony. Meanwhile...

Clever blogger cleek takes Matthew Iglesias' nifty Petraeus Surge/Mission Shift chart...


And edits it for Free Pony potential...


Result: We're all getting ponies! Yippee! </sarcasm> But, wait. Not everyone gets a pony...

Buy Your Own Pony, Ivy Leaguer!

It takes some Jossip shallow digging to connect these dots...

Breaking: Kid From the Ivy League Succeeds

Chris Beam, part of the duo that put out IvyGate, is now running Slate's new campaign blog, Trailhead.

The Columbia '06 wunderkind co-wrote an infograph for the New York Times Book Review (PDF) last week with his dad, a columnist at the Boston Globe.

Who would have guessed that an Ivy League education and family connections would pay off?

No pony for you, Kid. You've already got plenty of them. And don't complain to me about the price of polo pony food these days, either. Here's a question for you, though...

Got A Date For The Purity Ball Yet?

What: Father-Daughter Purity Ball

Where: Daddy Dobson Country (Colorado Springs and across the nation)

When: The fun begins Friday, Sept. 14th and continues as fathers' checks clear across the country

Why: Because these people like to pretend that their children aren't sexually active

Ahem. AmericaBlog has the actual facts:

Unfortunately for dear old high priest dad, purity pledges aren't exactly keeping little Janie from carnal exploration. In March 2006, Byron Weathersbee, a chaplain at Baylor University in Waco, Texas (a school affiliated with the conservative Southern Baptist Convention), conducted a study on the effectiveness of abstinence ed and virginity pledges in Christians.

* 100 percent professed faith in Christ

* 99 percent attended church

* 84 percent grew up in church

* 87 percent grew up in a two-parent home

* 62 percent of males had premarital sex

* 65 percent of females had premarital sex

* only 27 percent of fundies surveyed managed to stay completely chaste, not engaging in intercourse or Clintonian "non-sex" acts.

The Washington Post reported that those virginity pledges touted by head-in-the-sand organizations like True Love Waits and the Silver Ring Thing are doing nothing to stop STDs either. Among the 20 percent of kids that took a virginity pledge, 61 percent of the consistent pledgers and 79 percent of the inconsistent pledgers reported having intercourse before marrying or prior to 2002 interviews. Almost 7 percent of the students who did not make a pledge were diagnosed with an STD, compared with 6.4 percent of the "inconsistent pledgers" and 4.6 percent of the "consistent pledgers."

Hey, at least they can live the fantasy for one night. The morning-after Valtrex run probably won't even spoil the memories. One more perk: the sons of these fathers don't have to dress up and pledge not to spill (aka murder) future Spermatazoan-Americans. Think that's dumb? Try this...

If Thine Shade Tree Offends Thee, Chop It Down

Wake me when the 1950's end, OK? Or after the Jena Six get some real American justice. As someone who lived through separate (but not equal) water fountains, restrooms, and schools, the Jena High School's administrative decision to chop down the "Whites Only" shade tree is like assigning students to write essays on "The Other Side of Bigotry." Candide's Notebooks links to an excellent explanation of the entire case, and the comments posted after updates on the story at Head-On Radio Network show that this is a 2007 red hot, emotional issue. For example:

Why is it, that when "black boys" get in trouble everybody on the planet wants to put them in the lime lite! why? Just let justice be what it is… White people are getting screwed in the justice system too, and why do you have to be African Americans? Can't you just be Americans?

(snip)

I agree with you we all should be just Americans. So just where were you again when your fellow Americans were having their lives threatened for sitting under a DOG Damned tree?!

Dream and Hustle reports that local TV news outlets have barely mentioned the case so far, and even those reports seem tailored to appeal to fearful white viewers. Truly heavy sigh. No ponies for you, bigots. Meanwhile, on the totally unexpected ebony and ivory front...

Rice's Bean Got More Than A Pony!

From BlogActive, naturally...

Rice and Bean (I admit it, i giggle every time write that) not only share a home, but also a line of credit that has been used to renovate the property. "We advise clients to be very cautious when purchasing a home. Home ownership records are public and may trigger an investigation under the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy," Steve Ralls of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN) told me today. The policy prohibits out gays and lesbians from serving in the nation's armed forces.

"SLDN is aware of cases where servicemembers have been investigated for owning a home with a person of the same gender." Steve shared.

When I think of these men and women who have given so much for our nation it makes me, at the same time want to scream and cry.

Aw, come on now, BlogActive! You know the terrorists will win if anyone "investigates" Rice and her Bean. </snark> Time out to...

Thank A DUer!

Thanks to DUer William Pitt for compiling the latest and dumbest spewings of Frederick Of Hollywood (aka presidential wannabe Fred Dalton Thompson). In a nutshell:

On Energy and Oil: Solar system is warming, not earth.

Thompson puzzled Iowans yesterday by insisting an Al Qaeda smoking ban was one reason freedom-loving Iraqis bolted to the U.S. side.

On Iran: "A blockade would be a possibility if we could get the international cooperation, if in fact we're all reading off the same page and saw the nature of the threat," he said. "That would be one way to ensure that we didn't have to go to the military option."

Will Pitt adds:

Pssst...Fred...this is Iran:


How are you going to get the Fifth Fleet to "blockade" the borders of Iraq, Turkmenistan, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Azerbejan and Armenia? Pretty nifty trick to get sand-repellant tank treads onto an aircraft carrier...

Stupid person.

The solar system is warming? If that's true, why are we the only planet melting? You'd think Europa'd be melting too, seeing as how it's, like, all ice and stuff.

Don't tell me; let me guess: Fred's corporate sponsors have promised him his pick of the ponies if he pulls off another Reagan/Bush vote stealing deal.

Thanks to ginbarn for recognizing Infamous Moran Guy at the Sept. 15th DC protest march. Here's the photographic evidence:


You definitely get a pony, ginbarn.

Thanks to annabanana for the webcam screen caps of the Sept. 15th march on the White House.


Thanks again, anna. When you're in the middle of the march, you can't see the numbers. But you could see the few filth-spewing freepers between 9th and 7th along Pennsylvania Ave. I counted 213. No ponies for them. They'll just have to settle for lots of positive media coverage.

And many thanks to kpete for posting accounts of General David Petraeus being called "Betrayus" by soldiers and a retired general long before this week. Moveon.org didn't light that candle. It was already blazing. No pony for you, wingnuts.

Finally, thanks to enid602 for noting in a reply post about the DC chapter of Free Republic being invited to the White House:

"Members of the D.C. Chapter of FreeRepublic.com . . " You meant the night shift at White Castle?

Thanks, DUers! You rock!

Knowing When To Fold 'Em

Bye bye, Republican Pie Holes! Sheesh, Rs are dropping like flies ahead of next year's election, and Rep. Jerry Weller (R- IL, Nicaraguan Land Deals, Guatemalan Dictators) is calling it quits, even though Bush carried his district easily in 2004 and Weller won with 55% of the vote. Hmm. Why would a cerulean blue contact lens lover with a former dictator's daughter as a wife desert a sure thing? Eric Keefeld at TPM's Election Central has the details, including:

Another Congressional Republican is headed for the door. Congressman Jerry Weller (R-IL) will reportedly announce tomorrow that he is not seeking re-election.

President Bush carried his district with 53% in 2004, and Weller was re-elected with 55% in 2006. With those non-landslide margins in a district that simply was not targeted, we might just see the Democrats trying for a pick-up in a possible wave election next year.

Weller is perhaps best known for a series of land deals in Nicaragua and for his marriage to Guatemalan Congresswoman Zury Ríos Montt, daughter of former right-wing dictator Efraín Ríos Montt.

LaHood, Hastert, and now Weller. You guys, along with the rest of the R's deserting the sinking ship of state, can buy your own ponies with the war chests you'll be taking home with you. And that's a lot of ponies this year.

Did I miss anyone this week, who truly deserves or doesn't deserve a pony? Got some hot blog links or topics that need attention? Give me a shoutout at [e-mail] or reply to this week's column (below). Keep fighting those tightie righties! With all their wingnut shit, there must be a 2008 election pony or two.

-- Delilah Boyd

[pinto]

1. kick

:kick:

[mark414]

2. um

what?

[emilyg]

3. Ha.!

Kick

[tech3149]

4. Excellent! n/t

[PurpleChez]

5. Great as always, but there was one reference I didn't get:

' the Jena High School's administrative decision to chop down the "Whites Only" shade tree is like assigning students to write essays on "The Other Side of Bigotry."'

Is the suggestion that the admin is trying to hide the problem by removing the tree? I just wasn't sure. Sorry to be a spaz. Thanks for any clarification. And muy thanks for the pictures of The Return of Moran Guy! That rokked!

[displacedtexan]

6. Yep, you got my meaning.

Thanks for pointing out my lack of clarity.

To me, trying to diffuse the issue by chopping down the tree is like
trying to negate the tragedy of slavery by talking up the positives
of slave owners.

Sorry about the confusion.

Delilah

[PurpleChez]

7. No lack of clarity...as it is I got the meaning you intended

I just wasn't sure if there was maybe a more specific event that you might have been referring to. Thanks! I still can't believe that this particular set of circumstances (Jena, LA) is taking place in 2007. Jeez Louise.

[displacedtexan]

8. I know. Isn't it pathetic?

Did you remember to wear black today?