This is a heart-felt confused post.

[MinneapolisMatt]

I love my country, but I don't know what else I can do? I'm gay, liberal, want rights for the poor, women should be able to have the right to their own bodies, taxes should pay for health care for all...etc.

But who is showing me this? Everything seems so muddled sometimes, it's hard for an "outsider" like me to see through the clouds. I've been on DU since 11.04, yet post rarely.

I love learning here, and you all are so great...but I'm so discouraged. I don't want to give up, and won't...but after our bridge collapsed last week and a friend of mine survived a forty foot fall floating down the Mississippi, and puking through Bush's "visit"....I just don't know anymore.

Do you all sometimes bury your head in your hands and just cry? I try and reach out to people, yet it all seems so deaf. I want so much to make a difference for my brother's children, even though he's a Bushie.

So often I just feel like a zombie...like, is this real? Is this the world I'm supposed to be living in? I need someone to help me out of this....I think our entire country needs that.

Thanks for hearing me vent. I'm a faithful reader, and you all offer so much. Keep it up. It gives me strength every day.

xoxo Matt

[Nostradammit]

1. This is the world you're supposed to be living in

because it's going to take you to the next one, and these are the birthing pains.

All thought of personal gain through the wicked exploitation of others must be thoroughly discredited in the eyes of enough people before our next evolution can take place.

You can make a difference for your brother's children by showing them what it means to stand up for your principles and decry unfairness as loudly as you can. They will recognize your integrity.

All us Zombies are about to turn into the Night of the Living Dead for Bush and his ilk.

Courage...

[Esra Star]

2. I understand that the trauma resulting from the collapse would

still be very present for you and your community.
It is very good to hear that your friend survived. The tragedy could have been so much worse.
The schoolbus thing is just a real miracle.
Anyway don't give up. Keep thinking that it will get better, as it will.
Hope you feel better soon.
Cheers

[Lucinda]

3. I'm sorry Matt - thats a lot to be carrying

Baby steps. Just take baby steps.
Your friend is alive...and your brothers kids will benefit from the changes that will take place this next election. Thats two good things.

It's almost impossible to find direction at DU right now (politically speaking) because of the "half-time infighting"...this place can be a wonder when there is a mission - but other times its Snark Central. It can be hard to really evaluate anything when you're dodging bullets. :) Maybe its a good time to read the candidates websites and look at what they are saying on the road.

Its a lame cliche, but hang in there....things really will be better soon.

[Hissyspit]

4. You joined the same month I did, Matt.

I've made multiple posts every day for three years, and not a day goes by I don't feel confused.

I can't say I cry, I mostly scream and yell. I've gotten on the phone with my close friends and just yelled in disbelief at the insanity from the past seven years.

But I'm not ready to give up and I won't. Just when you think, this will never change and things won't get better, something changes and something gets better. We still have a long way to go.

[MinneapolisMatt]

5. Thanks so much for the replies.

I know we make a difference. We just have to keep it up.

:)

You all are wonderful. It's nice not to be alone.

[Nostradammit]

6. Indeed

:toast:

[annabanana]

7. "One step, one step"

When it's hard to look ahead, keep your mind on taking the next step. We all have bouts of helplessness when the cards seem so firmly stacked against us. But we are on the side of light and justice and hope, so we will win.

[Perry Logan]

8. Take heart, brother. As Lou Reed says, "It takes a busload of faith to get by."

[MinneapolisMatt]

9. Thank you so much.

I just can't sleep tonight...and I am so worried.

It all just hit me tonight. God awful feeling, but like I said above, we are a family no matter how much we argue. :)

I love the company we keep here. I hope everyone else realizes what a gift we have here.

[CabalPowered]

10. MinneapolisMatt

Hang in there, there are brighter days on the horizon. I think we've all felt that way at some point in the last 6 years. I find my own piece in caring for my friends and family. That includes all my brothers and sisters at DU.

[liberal N proud]

11. Sometimes I want to pull my hair out

Wait a minute, maybe that's why I am going bald, I just thought it was hereditary.

You have been through so much more than many of us there in Minnesota in the last few days. Know that our hearts go out to you and the people of Minneapolis.
Don't let them get you down.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

12. Hang in there, Matt

Yes, we all get discouraged from time to time. Know that you are not alone.

If you'd like some fellowship and a way to feel better, you may wish to check out the Dances of Universal Peace. I know the chap who leads them there in Minneapolis, and you may find the practice will give you some comfort.

[MuseRider]

13. My husband's cousin, a very wise man,

said this to me once when I was angry and discouraged. He said that none of us asked for this but that people who have to fight never do ask for it. This is our time and our obligation to do this for the country and our future citizens and the world.

Some people go off to war, some write books and articles and some of us split off and do things in small pieces. All are needed. Every small thing helps somehow. Sometimes it just helps to do something. Write an LTTE, join a group, write letters. You know all of that.

When I get discouraged I whine to friends or here on DU with my DU friends, it really helps. Sometimes you need to back away. Sometimes just getting on DU and posting a lot helps. We need to hear what you have to offer and nothing you say will be deaf, it may seem like it but it is not. You never know who hears you and who is touched by your words. One person can do this and it spreads. Look at the connections we have now on the Internet. We have a lot of work to do. Do these things, take deep courageous breaths and get busy. :) :hug: We all go through this.

[MinneapolisMatt]

14. Thank You!

Those are great words! let's kick some ass!!!!!!!!

[Name removed]

15. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.