Shop, Damn it! Shop!

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This week's hot blog topics: Shop, damn it, shop!; Santorum trashes his Homo-Hatred Library; Laura skewers Condi with her cat claws; Bush ignorantly ignores his Joint Chiefs; last minute gift ideas (suitable for framing!) for a happy holiday season in the Homeland; DUer underpants salutes Rumsfeld (talk about suitable for framing!); and don't miss JibJab's year-end blowout video. All this and much more. Enjoy!

Santorum's Trash Heap Of Homo-Hatred

According to Wonkette, Rick Santorum has thrown out his collection of Homo-Hating books:

These are allegedly actual books being tossed out today:

* Homosexuality: A Freedom Too Far
* Freedom's Holy Light
* Beyond Abortion: A Chronicle of Fetal Experimentation
* Battle Cry for a Generation: The Fight to Save America's Youth

But now that he's just another unemployed loser obsessed with Invisible Arabs, Rick no longer cares about the gays having the holy abortion. Speaking of Christmas, did you know a giant dragon lizard immaculately conceived eight baby devil dragons and they're all about to hatch in time for Xmas? It's a Festivus Miracle!

Silver lining: at least Little Ricky can't take either actual factual books or Festivus away from the rest of us.

You're A Mean One, Mrs. Bush!

Thwack! In her run-you-over-with-a-car, yet oh-so-demure approach, Laura triple dog dares Condi to a Capitol Hill catfight. From Seesdifferent:

Yer over the line, Mrs. Bush...as in "catfight"...

Norah O'Donnell interviewed Laura Bush on MSNBC Live, and the first lady ripped the media about coverage of Iraq. How pre-ISG....but almost unreported were the first lady's snide remarks about First Rival Condi Rice, which I recorded at the time but can no longer trace back via link. But here's the quote...

Mrs. Bush referenced Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and noted that while she would be a "really good candidate" {for president}, Rice is not interested in the job.

"Probably because she is single, her parents are no longer living, she's an only child. You need a very supportive family and supportive friends to have this job," the First Lady said.

If you haven't lived in the South, you may not pick up on the slicing and dicing going on here. Trust me. This is ugly.

Ouch. That's gotta hurt. Surely, Santa will bring Livid Laura a saucer of milk next week. Meow.

A Mean Priest Walks Into A Bookstore...

Stop me if you've heard this one from News Hounds. A priest who perused - but didn't actually read - Sweet Jesus, I Hate Bill O'Reilly wrote a sermon condemning the book and called the authors murderers - get this - "in their hearts." Most notable News Hounds comment:

Cavallaro also accused the authors of breaking the fifth commandment, "thou shall not kill," because he says they committed murder in their hearts - "300-plus pages of murder. " Really? I thought they committed criticism, which last I checked is still protected speech in America.

Sweet Jesus, Priest! At least read the damned book before you crucify the authors, you clerical centurion. As for committing murder...

Joint Chiefs vs. The Combat Coward

Network news hairdos hastily reported this week on the Joint Chiefs' unanimous opposition to Bush's "surge" deal in Iraq. From Josh Marshall:

As significant as the JCS's opposition, however, is the basis of their opposition. According to the Post, they believe the White House "still does not have a defined mission and is latching on to the surge idea in part because of limited alternatives, despite warnings about the potential disadvantages for the military."

I think there's a more blunt way of putting this. The administration refuses to deal with the actual situation in the country, the "limited alternatives."

Oh, There's No Place Like Homeland For The Holidays!

John McCain sure is carrying a lot of BushCo water these days. This week, he's leading the charge in the war on bloggers. Check out the post and comments at Think Progress and be sure to note how McCain wraps up his little evidence-free anti-blogger legislation with a "we must protect the children from online predators" bow and so much red tape ribbon that all the lawyers in the world wouldn't be able to untie it. speaking of ribbons and bows...

The best ever gift and travel guide can be found at Tom Dispatch this holiday season. If you hurry, you can still get your genuine goldtone DHS cufflinks, the perfect gift for anyone navigating airport security mazes, the xx T-shirt, and lots more.

Speaking of life in the homeland, is Santa a drug runner? Talk Left takes on that Home Depot ad, which has probably caused a spike in bedwetting this Christmas season. Santa is pulled over by a police officer for an unspecified crime and questioned about the contents of his big red bag. We're supposed to overlook the constitutional implications, of course, and just buy stuff at Home Depot while Santa and his elf passenger languish in jail? Talk Left points out that the ad was made in Canada, as if that's any comfort. 'Tis the season for scaring the shit out of children in the name of corporate profits, eh?

Suitable For Framing

How about a little unvarnished truth this year? From Election Central:

"I never understand that question, you have a President that's in deep shit. He got us into the war, and all the reasons he gave have been proven invalid, and the whole electorate was so pissed off that they got rid of anyone they could have, and then they ask, ‘What is the Democrats' solution?'"

-- Rep. Charles Rangel (D-NY), in response to questions from the New York Observer about what the Democrats should do about the war in Iraq

Also suitable for framing is this little gem from TVNewser:

Tony Snow Apologizes To David Gregory

After David Gregory asked a question in this afternoon's White House press briefing, Tony Snow took a moment to apologize for accusing the NBC News correspondent of framing a question in a partisan way:

SNOW: Before I get to that, I want to address something else. Because you and I had a conversation last week that got a whole lot of play in a lot of places, where I used the term "partisan" in describing one of your questions.

And I've thought a lot about that, and that I was wrong. So I want to apologize and tell you I'm sorry for it.

GREGORY: Thank you.

SNOW: And the reason I do that is not only because it's the right thing, but because I want people in this room and also people who watch these to understand that the relations in this room are professional and collegial.

And if I expect you to do right by us, you have every right to expect that I'll do right by you.

So, at any event, I just want to say I'm sorry for that.

Hmm. Did three spirits (from the legal dept., no doubt) visit Tony Snowjob during the night? Is there any other explanation?

Also suitable for framing is this proposed George W. Bush Presidential Library "Rotunda Of Blame" from Jesus' General:

Rotunda of Blame

We all know how tough Our Leader's first term has been. We also know that it wasn't his fault. He's told us so many times. Every problem we've faced can be blamed on someone else.


A colorfully sectioned circle and spinable arrow on the floor of the Rotunda of Blame demonstrates this relationship between our problems and Our Leader's enemies. Visitors may state a problem like joblessness and then spin the arrow to see who's to blame. Choices include Clinton, homosexuals, France, non-Christians, Democrats, Spongebob Squarepants, and the American People.

The circle, made of petroleum-based polymers manufactured in China using oil from a well near Yellowstone's Old Faithful geyser, also signifies Our Leaders love for our National Park System.

Wishing & Hoping

And planning and praying... with sincere apologies to Dusty Springfield, but nothing says Christmas like the Associated Press running the headline: "Senate back to 50-50 with Johnson out" and FOX News salivating over it. Daily Kos has the story, aptly called, "Ghouls." File this one under "Ain't gonna happen. No way. No how."

Sweet Dreams

Want to sleep well like the president? No counting sheep for Bush. Bombings, torture, invasions, and Nixonian approval ratings don't bother him. No, sir. The ABC Political Radar blogger explains:

People's interviewer also mentioned that readers had asked if he takes sleep aids. Bush said generally not, but he does occasionally when he travels.

"I must tell you, I'm sleeping a lot better than people would assume," he said.

He said he drinks a couple of cups of coffee in the morning and drinks a lot of water and, of course, no alcohol.

"I don't drink alcohol. I can remember when I used to drink, I had trouble sleeping at night," the President said.

It's no wonder that Bush has no trouble sleeping. Sugar Smack notes in an outstanding pictorial review, that "All he wants to do is dance... and make romance."


Thank A DUer!

Thanks to underpants for this perfect post:

A salute to Rumsfeld on his final day

Hey, underpants! Add this one (from Bartcop, Vol 1892 - Smirk-Snarl) to your collection:


Thanks to Synnical for posting this blog post... not unlike your boss' traditional Christmas letter, which is worming its way through the blogosphere this week:

Saturday, December 16, 2006
Christmas Letter

Dearest Beloved of Our Family in Christ,

There have been many changes this year for our family. Our beloved 17 year old daughter suffered blindness and paralysis after being struck by a drunk driver on her way home from Wednesday night church services. Aunt Polly died of liver cancer, following a long and painful illness. The family cat was smashed by a UPS truck. Mabel's M.S. is getting worse and she can hardly do anything much anymore. Father had to have a triple bypass operation, and now uses a breathing tube. The house was burned down by sparks from the burning of Harry Potter books in our yard. Little Marvin got a chicken bone stuck in his throat at a church picnic and was rushed to the hospital where doctors had to remove his voice box, so he can never talk again, but God miraculously saved him. Miranda is now being home schooled after she left eighth grade to become a single mother. An abortion was out of the question, and we know God has given us a hydrocephalic grandchild for his own good and perfect reasons. Our oldest son had his left foot blown off in an ambush in Iraq while helping to bring Christ and Democracy to those poor heathens. We rejoice in the wisdom of our God, in His gifts, and in His plan for our lives. We bear grateful witness to all that our great and merciful God has done for us in the past year, and we praise the works of His hand. Oh, almost forgot. The dog died.

In His Holy Name,

The Fundangelical Family

(by Edwin Kagin. December, 2006. Permission to reproduce without profit is given. If you make money on it, I want some of it. Edwin)

And finally, another big ol' thanks to underpants, for posting this pic:


And to babylonsister, whose reply to underpants' call for a caption read:

The devil doesn't wear Prada.

Remembering Carl Sagan

Over 18,000 bloggers posted tributes to Carl Sagan on the 10th anniversary of his death on Dec. 20th. This is posted on the blog at The Planetary Society, of which Sagan was a founder:

I can't help wondering how he (Sagan) would have navigated this new world of cable and satellite TV and the Internet. At the time Cosmos aired, there were only three major broadcast networks and one public network on TV. Information was precious. Now, it seems, there are billions and billions of information outlets. How would Carl have coped? Would his distinctive voice be lost in the noise? No, his signal would still be coming in loud and clear.

Does anyone doubt for a moment that Sagan would've been a blogger?

RIP, Carl. For Saganites and science aficionados everywhere, the first edition of the second year of the Carnival Of The Liberals is hosted this week by Living The Scientific Life. Don't miss it!

Year-End Blowout!

No, it's not a final sale notice. It's JibJab's 2006 video, "Nuckin' Futs." Be sure to note the faces of the audience after the children's show is over. After the video, don your pink bunny suit (a la Ralphie) and heed the post-Ovaltine advice of President George W. Bush... as interpreted by Monkeyfister:

And What The Fuck Are You Doing Here?

President George W. Fucking Bush TOLD you to get out and Fuck SHOP, you slackin,' anti-american Bastids!

SHOP, BITCHES!!! SHOP!!!

You OBVIOUSLY don't want to stop Terraism in these here United States of Consumerism...

Heathens.

Sigh. If Bush tells you to shop, can a full-blown recession be far behind his (cough) words of wisdom (cough)?

Bush has inspired us to embrace his vision for America this holiday season: if you're reading this and not shopping your little Grinch-size hearts out, the terrorists will win, damn it. Didn't you hear the president? The economy is strong! We're neither winning nor losing in Iraq, so stop sniveling. We need more tax cuts for the rich, and you damned Democrats had better get ready to work with the few remaining elected Republicans to gut Social Security next year, or else Bush will hold another useless press conference and look stupid again.

Next year, I resolve to add the words, "Now watch this drive," to the end of every Bush-uttered fragment, phrase, and rare complete sentence. What's your New Year's resolution? Send it along with those great blog links! Happy seasonal celebration(s)!

-- Delilah Boyd

[snowbear]

1. Wow... that's quite the roundup of newsy tidbits..

Good job!

[ClintonTyree]

2. Once again, thanks for the BlogBox.....

K&R I plan on taking our grate leader's advice today and GO SHOPPING! I can't escape it, there's only a few things I have to get but I can't do them from the comfort of my computer so out I go, into the sucking, squeezing herd to finish up. What a patriot I am! :patriot:

[Vinca]

3. If I lived in the D.C. area I'd be picking Santorum's trash to sell on

ebay as a momento of the worst years in this country.

[Sparkly]

4. I love the "Rotunda of Blame!"

That is CLASSIC!!! :rofl: