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Or "How to Torture a Trite Analogy in 1000 Words or Less"
There's an old adage in poker, "Never draw to an inside straight." The reason for that caveat is that an inside straight is a longshot. The chance of getting the right card is too slim for most reasonable gamblers to hazard.
Right now, the Democratic Party is drawing to an inside straight. Our high card is the Queen of Hearts, Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House. But we're putting a lot of chips on the table that we will draw the Jack of Clubs (Steny Hoyer) or the Jack of Spades (Jack Murtha), thus completing our straight, a most righteous hand.
Sick of the analogy yet? I've only just begun!
The odds of drawing a Jack are, roughly, one in thirteen; however, if we attempt a flush draw, our odds increase to just worse than one in four. Moreover, we retain the opportunity to make a pair of Queens and still win.
And poker analogies never lie!
My point is this: getting all our cards in the same suit is a better strategy than getting all our ducks in a row (mixed metaphors never lie, either!) If we draw a Two of Hearts, an otherwise crappy card, we still win with a flush. But we could also get an Ace of Hearts out of the deal!
So, Democrats, go all in for a small card -- a sweet, doe-eyed liberal with a heart -- for Majority Leader. There are just too many ways drawing to an inside straight could lose us our chip position, and our House leadership.
(P.S. Sorry about that. Really. Sorry you had to read that, but I've already posted it. Bye!)
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