Whew! Just assembled my New America Anti-Terror Kit.

[democrank]

Since I live out in the sticks, I have the bad habit of operating without the full benefit of certain things, you know...some of the stuff that`s sure to end up in a Reader`s Digest Americana Edition some day. Just this morning I caught myself letting out this "Whoa, Mama" when it suddenly dawned on me that swimming upstream while everyone else is going in the opposite direction just won`t cut it anymore. I`m going to face things and step right up to my president`s Get-Ready-for-Terror plate. An end to empty-handedness on my part. I`m joining up and I have the kit.

Thank goodness for that little jar of coins. It started out being my life savings, but after seeing the light shine on my denial, it ended up in the cash register at the Dollar Store. Batteries, check. Duct tape, check. Pack of cheap garbage bags instead of plastic sheeting, check. Pocket-size world atlas, check. I BELIEVE lapel pin, check. Memo pad for name taking, check. Plastic binoculars, check. At the last minute I grabbed a toy gun, a box of granola bars and for some unknown reason, a package of glittery butterfly stickers. Feels so good to be ready.

Took my old set of U.S. history books and made a barricade. Spread out my copy of The Constitution on the floor inside because, #1...it`s mat size and #2...Congress says we don`t really need to use it for its original purpose anymore. We`re "moving forward."

Now I`m a freedom-bringer. It`s invigorating. Going to keep my eyes on the neighborhood and remain alert. Surprising how much looks suspicious once you free yourself up enough to search for it. Now I realize The Government wouldn`t lock you up for nothing nor would they stash you away in another country without good reason. Sometimes we really have to give up some of our freedoms in order to be free. I think that`s called an epiphany. Anyhow, I had one, got the kit, and God Bless President Bush.

[uppityperson]

1. if we don't laugh, we will drown by our tears

[KyndCulture]

2. I got a norman rockwell 2006 calendar you can have..

to block out the light of truth from some window.

[democrank]

5. That`s kind of you, Kynd....but....

are they allowed?

[KyndCulture]

8. nah Rockwell was a terrarist..

we all know that.

[Vickers]

3. "and for some unknown reason, a package of glittery butterfly stickers"

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

That's just one jewel from a great post...thanks!

[valerief]

4. Funny! nt

[TallahasseeGrannie]

6. Kind of OT (off topic, not Old Testament)

but I have been watching Jericho and they are shown putting plastic and duct tape on their windows to protect from FALLOUT!! Now, any child of the Cold War knows you need about 24 inches of DIRT between you and fallout to be protected. I really am annoyed at how they are showing false information.

But maybe they don't read internet survival manuals in their spare time like I do. (just a slight neurosis...)

[jimshoes]

10. Everybody knows

all you need is your 4th grade desk to duck under and cover your eyes. Wow, I still remember those drills. ;-)

[hootinholler]

16. Actually, the 24" protects from the X and Gamma...

The Beta, (fallout particulate) is basically dust and the sheeting does help, but it gets everywhere anyway.

24" is a bit thin, IMHO.

-Hoot

[TallahasseeGrannie]

21. Well, that's good to know, then

so here in FL, where we have no basements, the first thing would be to seal the house up?

Most folks here say they would use sandbags or dig through their living rooms. Not too easy without a man in the house.

[hootinholler]

22. Go diving!

If you have enough clean air supply to stay under about 10' of water for a day or two...

Like that's practical ;)

The initial burst radiation (X-ray and Gamma-ray) is over within a few milliseconds of detonation, they travel at light speed. The real worry if you can shield yourself from that is all the dust that was irradiated that you will be breathing and being irradiated from.

Have a clean source of iodine in tablet form to prevent the (I think) pitutary gland from absorbing radioactive iodine isotopes. A high quality respirator about $30 from an industrial saftey supply shop will help with dust.

-Hoot

[panader0]

7. I live out in the sticks too. At my local feed store, I admired the new

hay bale unloader the owner had bought. "Yeah", he said, "God bless President Bush. He made it all possible for me." This guy is the only one that'll fill my old propane tanks, and he's the only feed store around, so I left my mouth shut. While paying my bill at the counter, I noticed the "Annoy a Liberal" bumper-stickers, customized with the sore's name on them. "You know that my vote will cancel yours don't you" I said. "Yeah" I hope he still sells me propane.

[Sherman A1]

11. He will certainly sell you propane

as long as you bring him - green folding money.

[Berry Cool]

12. I think you committed a great Freudian typo here.

While paying my bill at the counter, I noticed the "Annoy a Liberal" bumper-stickers, customized with the sore's name on them.

Yeah, I'll bet he IS a sore. :rofl:

[KyndCulture]

9. kick

this is great people!!!! you need to laugh

[femrap]

13. I'm going to go to my nearby Dollar Store, too...

but on the way home, I'm stopping for a bottle of Scotch!

[Vinca]

14. democrank, you're a role model.

A word of caution about that dollar store duct tape - sometimes it's all stuck together like a giant hockey puck. Not to worry, you'll need a weapon. I'll gladly spill the contents of my life savings out on the floor and send you money for a dollar store slingshot.:rofl:

[democrank]

15. Hope you don`t mind, Vinca.

Since I wanted to work on the special skills Bush`s democracy-bringers need, I checked your DU profile, looking for....How should I say this?....red flags. Good news. So far you look clean.


Right now I`m working on a list of books that need to be banned and a petition to force our librarian to get one of those iris scanning machines. Bio-something. Maybe metric. Simple solution to a giant problem. NO SCANNING, NO READING. PERIOD.

[Donna Zen]

17. ugh...ugh...aaah!

We know longer use "periods" any more; just commas,

And btw, they confiscated General Clark's toothpaste the other night, in an all out effort to protect the "homeland" from Four Star Generals, A fine use of tax dollars, I feel much safer now,

[AusGail]

18. I bet you now feel as safe as a long tailed cat in a room full of

rocking-chairs. In Australia, all we were given was a fridge magnet with a phone number on it; and that was only to report anyone who looked suspicious.

[NYC]

19. How many suspicious people

did you find in your refrigerator?

Just wondering. :)

[AusGail]

23. I dont think there are any strange aliens in my refrigerator

but, there are some things that could pass for WMD's

[kath]

20. Oh, man, I'm laughing my ass off! Thanks guy, it was badly needed.