"We're from DU, and we're here to help." Let's help the poor GOP!!!

[Sparkly]

You know how helpful the GOP always is to our party, offering plenty of free advice like, "Don't go negative," "If you 'bash Bush' you'll lose," and reminding us of who our "best" and "worst" candidates would be (as opposed to the ones Osama bin Laden is rooting for).

So let's return the favor.

They need some help for this fall's elections. The "War on Terra," "stay the course," "fight 'em over there," etc. doesn't seem to be working. They need to STAND for something!! They need to tell the American people what they really mean without any wavering, wobbling, weebling, or falling down!! What they really need is to be HONEST for a change. That's what the American people want from you, Republicans!!

They need a whole new set of slogans and catch-phrases. Let's help them out.

For example:

- "Winning the war on terror, one colossal mistake at a time."
- "We're fighting them over there so we don't have to admit it's fubar over here."
- "Claiming a new American position in the world: a position where everybody hates us."
- "We have nothing to fear but voting for Democrats, which will cause us all to die. (By 'us,' we mean just 'us,' and by 'die,' we mean the possibility that we may rot in prison.)"
- "Creating stability, growth, power, unity and effective purpose... for Al Qaeda."
- "We're not stupid, we just aren't 'book-smart.'... There's more than one kind of intelligence, you know... It's all about common sense... Okay fine, we're stupid."
- "We support our troops -- they make such great backdrops!"

Now your turn... C'mon, give them some help. They need it!

(A P.S. on edit: I forgot to add that Alan Keyes is definitely their best candidate for '08... We'd be soooo scared to run against him!!!)

[cornermouse]

1. I can understand your desire to be helpful. That's part of being a

democrat.

However, if we're watching the republicans floundering in deep water as a result of their own actions, my solution at this point in time would be to throw them an anchor, the biggest and heaviest that I could find... unattached to a boat... maybe with some krazy glue covering all surfaces ...about 300 feet of heavy duty chain wound around it... Do you think that would be sufficient?

[Sparkly]

3. A good metaphor.

Let's throw them the equivalent of that helpful "anchor" with some new, honest slogans.

[rzemanfl]

2. Alan Keyes, the lawn jockey candidate. (I know that sounds

racist, but the shoe fits so damned well.) He is probably the only black man in the country that deserves that title. Applied to anyone other than that asshole I would be appalled by the slur.

[Sparkly]

6. I don't know that term or what it means (not sure I want to) but...

We should inform the RNC that Alan Keyes would make a formidable candidate. He's the one we'd really have a hard time beating.

[Stinky The Clown]

11. I'll 'splain it ta ya Loocy

[rzemanfl]

12. You have to be fairly old, I guess, to remember those. They were

popular lawn ornaments in the 1950's. I agree, he is a really formidable candidate. He is sure to get the vote of Emmanuel Lewis fans of all colors. Also the votes of the vast uneducated majority who have no idea what the word carpetbagger means. I am really scared the Repukes will figure this out.

[ellenfl]

9. it might fit ken blackwell, too. eom

[rzemanfl]

14. He doesn't have the build for it. More like the kid sitting holding

a cane fishing pole. Oddly, the places that sell those today call them "jockies" too.

[AndreaCG]

17. What about Blackheart, er Blackwell?

[rzemanfl]

18. See above, he fits the lazy fishing boy image. n/t

[RiffRandell]

4. "Your stem cells will be safely killed by us so others can die too!"

eom

[Sparkly]

5. That's a great one Patty -- I'm sure they'll thank you!!

:rofl:

[elehhhhna]

7. We fight 'em over there, but they're AIMING over here.

[elehhhhna]

8. "Bring e'm ON!" Oops . Been done.

[Contrary1]

10. Bill smokes cigars ----- Republicans smoke entire neighborhoods

[RiffRandell]

13. "Close race? Don't worry! We'll fund a Green to run, too!"

[RiffRandell]

15. "We care about gas prices----for our oil buddies!" n/t

[Sparkly]

16. Wow Patty, they should hire you! (If they know what's GOOD for them.)

:rofl: