Chimpanzee Leader Calls for Stop to Teaching of Evolution

[Bjorn Against]

Washington(AP) - General George Cuckoobananas gave a press conference today in which he called for an end to the teaching of evolution. "Today America is faced with a growing threat, a threat that could destroy the very fabric of our countries families. It is the threat of activist judges who believe that evolution should still be taught in our public schools. These judges threaten to reveal state secrets, and the terrorists would only be emboldened if they knew that I had not completely evolved yet".

Following the press conference the Albino Gorilla Press Secretary Snowball said the General had been misquoted. "The General never said that he had not completely evolved, he was merely issuing a warning that the terrorists will come to kill you if you keep questioning what he says."

Some scientists claim that evolution is real, but uneducated people disagree. Polling data shows that uneducated "moral values" voters played a significant role in getting Cuckoobananas installed in office. Some claim that it was their inability to count the votes that gave Cuckoobananas that final push he needed to win the election.

Pundits on both sides of the aisle went on Fox News to support their coverage of the issues. "These uneducated people are a very important part of the electorate, and we should always make sure their voice is given a fair hearing no matter how much it conflicts with the facts. You can not have a fair hearing if people are second guessing you. This is America if the people want to vote for a recovering alcoholic chimpanzee that is their choice. And if someone wants to vote for something better than an alcoholic chimp that is their choice as well, just don't demand any investigations over our methods for counting your vote."

[AtomicKitten]

1. folks might catch on to the fact that he hasn't evolved.

[man4allcats]

2. I like it.

Welcome to DU! :hi: :thumbsup: