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Edited on Sun May-14-06 06:33 PM by NanceGreggs
By Nancy Greggs
For a long time, I cut my fellow citizens who voted for Bush a lot of slack. I didn’t think they were all stupid or ill-informed, but simply misled into accepting him at face value when he talked about being a compassionate, moral, down-home, good Christian man.
Even when these same people voted for Bush in 2004, I believe many of them thought the trials and tribulations of his first term were simply ‘growing pains’ as he set the country on a different course towards peace and prosperity. The groundwork painstakingly laid in his first term would bear fruit; the deficit would be reversed, Iraq would emerge as a democracy, the war on terror would be declared a total victory, and the nation would once again be back on track.
But as the consequences of this regime have unfolded since the beginning of Bush’s second term, and as he slips into below 30% approval territory, I have come to accept that the people who still support him and defend his policies are just downright stupid.
The corollary of a staunchly maintained belief in Bush and his buddies is that you have to be able defy logic at every turn, to suspend belief in everything you’ve heretofore accepted, and to ignore facts as obvious as the ever-lengthening nose on President PNACio’s face.
If you still honestly think the War in Iraq is going smoothly, you’ve got to believe that with all of the reporters currently there, not a single one of them is able to get an iota of ‘good news’ out to the rest of the world. You have to accept that with the vast resources at the disposal of the president and his staff, they can’t manage to get the video footage of schools and hospitals being built, or the photographs of Iraqis going about their lives in peaceful harmony, to a single newspaper or TV network.
If you still believe that Bush is a good Christian, you undoubtedly have to be able to swallow a whale (Jonah and all) whole, and accept that the traditional teachings of Christianity have somehow been misconstrued for two thousand years. You have to accept that what Jesus was REALLY admonishing his followers to do was torture their enemies, ignore the poor, and prey on the sick and vulnerable for the profit of the already wealthy.
As for the fact that Bush swore on the Bible to uphold the Constitution and then blatantly disregarded same, you have to believe that crossing your fingers behind your back negates even the most solemn oath, and that God Almighty is just fine with taking advantage of the ‘signing statement’ loophole.
If you still support this Administration’s fiscal policies, you have to believe that outsourcing American jobs is actually a GOOD thing, that somehow a country full of underpaid, uninsured sales clerks and wait staff will lead us to new heights as a super-power in the global economy. You have to accept as fact that well-paying jobs are being sent to India or China because they are jobs that ‘Americans just don’t want to do’, because the average highly-educated, highly-trained US worker would rather collect unemployment benefits for a few months than collect a substantial paycheck for years to come.
You also have to believe that the debt the country is now facing will simply disappear someday, and not a penny of a single outstanding loan will ever have to be repaid. You have to accept that things like compounded interest payments don’t exist – and if they do, no one ever actually expects to collect.
With regard to the taxpayers’ money that continues to vaporize between the pockets of war profiteers and its intended destinations like Iraq, Afghanistan, and NOLA, you have to wholeheartedly embrace the notion that huge, multi-national corporations like Halliburton have stacks of shoeboxes full of receipts somewhere, which will someday appear and account for every dime spent.
On the issue of patriotism, you have to believe that sending troops into battle with body armor is a waste of the taxpayers’ dollars, while putting a magnetic yellow ribbon on your car actually saves lives. And you have to accept that decreasing veterans’ pensions and benefits is the best way to show gratitude for services rendered after-the-fact.
You’ve got to believe that the government accessing the phone records, letters and email of people living in Bumfuck, Montana, is the fastest way to capture Osama Bin Laden and bring Al Qaeda to its knees. And you’ve got to accept that that exercise makes more sense than checking the billions of pounds of cargo that pour into our ports every day.
You’ve got to believe that fine upstanding citizens like Libby and Rove are being railroaded, and if Fitzgerald was really doing his job, he would have indicted Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame by now.
You’ve got to believe that when Democrats call for things like transparency in government, fair election procedures, and fiscal responsibility, they’re trying to undermine the entire nation.
Like I said, you’ve got to be downright stupid. And the 29% of the population who still wholeheartedly believe this crap are.
But there is a way we can use this stupidity to our own advantage, by discouraging these people from participating in the political process. And that is easily done.
When you find yourself in conversation with one of these 29-percenters, remind them not to bother to vote this November because it’s just a test to make sure all of the Diebold machines are in working order. Tell them to vote on April 1st, the new official date for the mid-term election.
Assure them that volunteering to campaign for anyone running for office has been suspended for national security reasons, and donating money to their favorite candidate was outlawed last week when Bush, in a top-secret meeting with Congress, signed a new bill into law.
Tell them not to worry about the NSA spying on them, because all of the agents have been given a list of who’s naughty and who’s nice, and there isn’t a single Bush-supporter on the ‘naughty’ list.
If they ask why they haven’t heard about any of this news on TV, just roll your eyes and say, “That damned liberal media is at it again, keeping the country misinformed.” They’re bound to nod in complete agreement.
You don’t think they’ll fall for it? Don’t be so sure. Remember, these people will believe ANYTHING.
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