We want drama! Sexy action! Poker tournaments! Brad and Angelina! And we want Rock and Roll to be The Soundtrack To Our Lives!
It's all an emotional high to most people. Half of them were calling John Kerry names; today, he is their Maximum Hero. And hundreds of them are dogpiling on Barack Obama tonight.
Let's see if they come around for the Election. Oh, wait, they've decided to quit the party so they can say, "I didn't leave the Democrats, the Democrats left me!" and talk about their consciences, as if theirs are the only ones that matter.
They can't face the fact that we lost on Alito because they've taken the last three elections and shut us out of the actual lawmaking process. They'd rather blame someone than realize that we've come to depend that "those bastards" cater to our whims, as if we were high-ticket consumers instead of citizens of a republic (with a lower-case R).
They all want to be Bart Simpson but want Mr. Smith (who Went to Washington) to rep them in Congress.
The time to go for blood is this coming Autumn. Nothing says "tantrum" better than screaming "WHORE!" and "TRAITOR!" after a cloture vote. As a party, we don't even fucking make plans for
leading anymore.
You want blood? Guts? Action?
Consider this -- that we commit ourselves to:- Gaining SIXTY seats in the House and FIFTEEN in the Senate this year;
- Gaining THIRTY seats more in 2008 and 2010 in the House, and EIGHT each in the Senate in 2008 and 2010;
- Taking the PRESIDENCY in 2008 with a 70% voter turnout and 40% of the electoral votes from the "Red states";
- Increasing the size of the Supreme Court to THIRTEEN and "re-stocking" it with FOUR litmus-test Liberals;
- Writing, introducing, and PASSING a new Equal Rights Amendment that fully enfranchises women -- and sexual minorities, as well -- by 2011.
As a resident of Pennsylvania, I've got dibs on a piece of Mr. Santorectum's ass (and I've got a nice, rusty knife all picked out).
You want something to sink your teeth into? Take the
Nuk-brand pacifier OUT and turn your choppers on an agenda like the one I outlined above. Or propose your own -- I might even like yours better.
Now THAT's Politics!
--p!