Here's A Christmas, Sort A - E-Mail I Received Today From A Repug Friend..

[global1]

Let them have their fun now is what I say. I would like to send something back to him that would be a DU response but I'm biting my tongue because he has a son in Iraq. I was considering "Merry Fitzmas" or "Treasons's Greetings" - but I don't want to offend him because of his son's service.


For Our Democratic Friends:

"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher."

For Our Republican Friends:
Here's wishing all of You a
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

[TrueAmerican]

1. I would simply reply with

a heart felt, "Fuck You!"

[Itchinjim]

2. I think it is very unchristian and self centered...

to demand that one be wished a "Merry Christmas". These poeple need to first, get a grip, and second, get a life.

[BOSSHOG]

3. Based upon the actions of the

"leadership" of the republican party and pending legal issues which seem to mount every day and the continuing uncovering of the lies and unconstitutional actions of those in the white house its highly doubtful that his "Republican Friends" will have a Happy New Year in 2006 despite all of their Christian "wishes." In fact, if there is any basis to their religious beliefs, 2006 will be quite a miserable year for his republican friends. Please pass on my warmest veterans wishes to your friend for a happy holiday because once the New Year comes, their happiness will go away.

[Ezlivin]

4. Tell him you already read that e-mail; you got a copy from the NSA

And tell him that he doesn't need to speak directly into the mouthpiece of his phone, either.

[havocmom]

5. Son in Iraq or not, the man must be exhausted from carrying that chip

on his shoulder around! Perhaps you could offer to hold it for a day so he could take a break from the burden of his displaced hostility? ;)

He sounds like my brother, a nice enough chap, but WAY too malable to the barrage of anger fuel on hate radio. Then, too busy being greatly offended by some imagined issue to keep up with the REAL problems.

I figure these people are SO insecure they will sway to whatever side shouts the loudest. Making sense doesn't matter, they just wanna belong to the team that seems most powerful. In my brother's case, it might be a small child inside a large body STILL trying to get love from a parent too drunk and abusive to care.

I still blast him every time he passes on drivel to me. And I am bloody loud and forceful about it, without making personal attacks or giving an inch of high ground.
He responds by agreeing with me... until he turns that damned radio on again and hears THEM.

So I keep my powder dry for next time. There is always a next time, though I swear I have been so rough on his parroting of tripe so often I knew he would never talk to be again. His refusal to get mad and stay mad proves my theory to me: Desperately seeking approval, from anyone vaguely resembling an authority figure.

[rurallib]

6. Unless he's someone you must interact with

I think I'd reassign his staus from "friend" to "barely speaking acquaintance". Life's too short to put up with this kind of Bullshit.

[Agnomen]

7. "Peace On Earth, Good Will To Man"

has been my standard reply to "christmas" e-mails of this ilk. Funny, it infuriated or offended some senders.
:shrug:

[Frances]

8. Are you Christian?

If you are, I would be tempted to say something like

I see Christmas as a time for me to think of Jesus' birth. To me, Christmaz is a time to wish joy and happiness and hope for a better tomorrow to all people. When I say Merry Christmas, I try to remember the things that Christ taught, especially the parable of the Good Samaritan. In that parable, Christ praised the man who did the moral thing over the men who did not, even though the Samaritan was of a different religion. For me, Christmas is Jesus' birthday and is a time of love and forgiveness.

"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you;
But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespases.
"Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance; for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you. They Have their reward.
"But thou, when thous fstest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face;
"That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly." (Mathhew: 14-18; King James Version of the Bible)

[PatrioticOhioLiberal]

9. Don't ya' get f*ing sick of the implication

that only Republicans are Christian?

My answer would probably be...JESUS WAS A LIBERAL YOU MORON!

[Tamarin]

10. Actually, I like the inclusiveness of the greeting. I would answer

*Thanks, and Happy Holidays, Love, Me. Don't let them get to you.

[hatrack]

11. Did he use holy straw from the manger to build his strawman?

'Tis the season and all of that . . .