The Clark/Hannity SMACKDOWN - Democratic Underground

Catch22Dem

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Mon Nov-21-05 11:53 PM
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The Clark/Hannity SMACKDOWN

Someone posted the transcript to a Clark/Bennett/Hannity/Colmes discussion sometime this weekend (the post that is...not sure when the show aired) The transcript was great, and I wish I could tell the original poster how much fun my wife and I had with it. We were using Hannity as a punchline all weekend. It didn't matter where we were; store, mall, her mom's house, it didn't matter.

Here are some examples using Hannity's own and very REAL lame ass arguments:

WIFE: "My sister said JC Penney had those shirts on sale."
ME: "No they don't"
WIFE: "No seriously, she said they did."
ME: "No she didn't."
WIFE: "Ok, I know what you're doing, and yes, it's funny, now shut up and let's go."
ME: "Yeah, ok, go tell your best friend Hillary Clinton that. She's your best friend right? Go tell John Kerry that. Go tell Ted Kennedy that."

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ME: "I thought you said we could go into the t-shirt store while we were here."
WIFE: "Yeah, but I talked to my sister and she said they didn't have the shirt you wanted. We can go anyway if you want."
ME: "So you're calling {my brother-in-law ... her sister's husband who told me the shirt was there} a liar?"
WIFE: "I'm not calling anyone anything..."
ME: "No, I'm asking you, because I think it's really irresponsible in a time of Christmas (Christmas, war, whatever) to call {my brother-in-law} a liar."
WIFE: "I never said that, but the shirt is definitely not there."
ME: "See, there you go. Look, the man has a job to do, and you people want to undermine him every step of the way during a time of Christmas." (He works at a bank, not sure how that fits in.)
WIFE: "Look, do you wanna go to the stupid fucking store?" (Yeah, she'll drop the "f" bomb if I get outta hand)
ME: "Yeah, ok, go tell your best friend Hillary Clinton that. She's your best friend right? Go tell John Kerry that. Go tell Ted Kennedy that."

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WIFE: "Are we going to eat here or do you want to cook something tonight."
ME: "Look, I'm trying to be as respectful as possible..."
WIFE: "Ok, damnit, it was funny the first thousand times. Now I'm just wanting you to answer me."
ME: "No you don't"
WIFE: "Ok, we're done."
ME: "Yeah, ok, go tell your best friend Hillary Clinton that. She's your best friend right? Go tell John Kerry that. Go tell Ted Kennedy that."

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WIFE: "Are you coming to bed? It's what the American people want." (Yeah she was startin' shit too)
ME: "No they don't"
WIFE: "Look Catch22Dem (not my real name) a recent poll showed 67% of America agrees you need to come to bed."
ME: "No they don't that's a lie. I defy you to cite an actual poll that shows that, I defy you, but not now, we have to cut to commercial." (In my defense, I'm certain there is no poll she can cite that says 67% of America thinks I need to go to bed that damn early!)
WIFE: "Very funny. Are we done?"
ME: "Yeah, ok, go tell your best friend Hillary Clinton that. She's your best friend right? Go tell John Kerry that. Go tell Ted Kennedy that."

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Yeah, so if anyone has the actual transcript and the rest of you haven't read it, you really should. It's pretty close to what you read above. I shit you not.