How would you avoid George 'Typhoid Mary' Bush ...

[NanceGreggs]

... if you were a Republican running for election in 2006, what would you say to GWB, if he offered to come and campaign for you?

"Dear President Bush,
Thank you for your kind offer to campaign for me in 2006. However, this is not possible because ..."

[99Pancakes]

1. Because...

I'll be drunk and you don't drink any more.

[Doctor_J]

2. my campaign appearances often

run past 10:00PM, at which time you should be in bed resting up for your morning run."

[NNadir]

3. I will be having lunch with my wife on whatever day you can make it.

[napi21]

4. Sorry Mr. President but....

you'd fuck up my campaign!

[Doctor_J]

5. My campaign appearances tend to be

attended by a high percentage of white people. I don't think we can find any of those black children you like to pose with.

[Doctor_J]

6. The backdrop that most closely describes your current status,

"Visualize Impeachment", would look bad on the 6:00 news.

[rosesaylavee]

7. I am in love with him and wouldn't be able to keep my

hands off his hot bod. We could pray over the phone for my immortal soul and that would be that. He would still support any legislation I would bring forward and I would meet him with others for the weekly breakfast thingie. No one but the two of us need to know a thing. We would just speak to each other with our eyes across a crowded room.

What you think? I think this ruse would work for women AND men. I think this is a dandy idea myself. All you lurking RWer politicos, you can feel free to steal this idea.

:popcorn:

[Spike from MN]

10. Wow! I didn't even know you were running for election!

I would like to be the first to welcome Jeff Gannon to DU! BTW, I saw your website and I have to say you're very...uh...photogenic. Yeah, that's the word. Photogenic. Now get out there and campaign with Dubya by your side day and night. That's sure to get you an erection election win.

[rosesaylavee]

11. O, there goes my cover.

What was I thinking? I keep calling W and Rover and Libby and all the old gang - but you know, its just not the same from a distance.

[Spike from MN]

17. Yeah, it's hard to set up "secret meetings" when the heat is on.

I guess W and Rover and Libby will have to be content with just screwing over the American taxpayers for now. Sigh. Poor guys. I guess Presidentin' really is hard werk.

[niyad]

12. your good buddies ted haggard, james dobson and I will be having a

threesome on whatever day you are coming. come to think of it, you might want to join us after all. it will be a GREAT photo-op for you.

[rosesaylavee]

13. As long as James brings the oil again - count me in.

[OldLeftieLawyer]

8. "Thank you so much for your kind offer,

but I'll be having explosive diarrhea that day.

And, I'll be washing my hair.

Perhaps another time?

Yours in Christ................"

[yorkiemommie1]

9. because

you are toxic waste.

[Montauk6]

14. "That's so sweet of you, Mr. President, but I think I can handle this...

Yeah... I'm gonna go it alone here, I know it's risky but I got it under control... but I may call you if it gets a little rough, of course."

[Lisa]

15. that's great, Mr. President!

I'll be starting the day on a university campus (no, not Bob Jones) -- then I'll be visiting a bookstore, a wardful of injured soldiers recently returned from Iraq, and a public library. After stopping for lunch at an ecumenical picnic organized by the local Muslim and Jewish Community Associations, I will take part in a town hall meeting for Hurricane Katrina evacuees. The campaign schedule is just packed, but of course you would be welcome to join in at any time during the day!

Mr. President? Are you still there, Mr. President? We appear to have lost the phone connection ...

[Mr_Jefferson_24]

16. because I understand...

...Diebold's only willing to steal a maximum of 2 out of every 5 votes cast for the Democratic candidate, and I can't imagine that would be enough if you were to try and help me. Thanks anyway.