Project X enters Phase 2 - Phase 1 Report

[mikelewis]

Project X enters Phase 2 - Phase 1 Report

According to high level sources currently engaged in Project X, Phase 1 though successful was beset by many leadership problems. The leadership seemed to lack direction and the overall focus of the mission seemed to meander. Dissention began to erode the morale of the teams. However, a quick change of leadership and an influx of fresh recruits has dramatically stepped up operational intensity and Phase 1 has been completed.

The Operational stage of Phase 2 has now been implemented. Team Leaders will be ramping up recruitment efforts. Sources say it is very important that operational security measures are in place and tested. They have entered a very critical stage of this mission and leaks would be dealt with severely.

New recruitment guidelines have been implemented to limit security breaches. Though the recruits are still pouring in, the new security measures have stopped at least 2 attempted infiltrations this week alone.

As always, remember that Project X does not exist. This is a complete hoax and do not waste your time trying to find out anything more about it. However, for those delusional souls who insist on believing in fairy tales, Project X is right on track and our guys and gals will prevail. Pray for their imaginary success.

[SpiralHawk]

1. Please delete the detail from this double, super-secret report

or they will find out stuff about it.

The packet with the picket
is in the pocket with the placket.

[mikelewis]

2. It has been vetted through the proper channels...

There are no security points of interest in the report. It had been thoroughly vetted before I spoke with the source. Besides, it doesn't even exist.

[hootinholler]

35. AHA!

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

...

;)
-Hoot

[Crazy Guggenheim]

3. The green mongoose walked across the ice pond. Check.

[patdem]

13. Crazy, the up dated version: sorry...it is super secret but here is the

update...paragraph 8...section 7, replace 'walked' with 'swam'..and replace 'ice pond' with 'swamp'...sorry this global warming thing has us updating like crazy (no pun intended)

[Crazy Guggenheim]

19. But the later revision in attachment 1-a-gold supersedes that section

and clearly reinstates 'walked' and 'ice pond' as not to give any hint that Project X could be affiliated the nonexistent Project X with respect to global warming.

[mikelewis]

24. If you guys say global warming one more time...

I will personally recommend both of you to the fat man.

UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!

[Crazy Guggenheim]

26. The sunlight bathed the yaks at noon. Check.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

36. Patdem started it.

[patdem]

28. Supersedes..of course..that superseeder..I am constantly on the prowl

for superseeders..and you are eggactly correct! Project X could not perfom it's most important functions without superseeders! Thanks for the up date.

[Richard Steele]

46. Wait...did you say the GREEN mongoose?

Oh crap, I thought it was the RED mongoose today!
The Carnivorous Slugs are already in transit!

I gotta go make some calls!

[ourbluenation]

4. Team Kojak in position - waiting for command. however,

for the record, the rubber ball did not bounce over the fence.

[mikelewis]

7. 16 lepers sniffing tulio won't change the direction of the winds....

Because the wings simmer and Mars is in zenith, try not to masterbate with the fat man. If she sings, use the quicker-picker-upper.

[Swamp Rat]

5. No way! I hope THEY fail!!!

:hide:

[walldude]

41. Good to see you back on a regular basis Swampy!

I was missing those pics... :toast:

[Swamp Rat]

44. Way'at walldude!

:hi:

[kevinmc]

6. 10-4.... General Jeebus.....Out..... n/t

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

8. The razor shavings have been placed in W's underwear.... n/t

[mikelewis]

11. Yes we know but we didn't do that...

This has been vetted through proper security channels....

Appearantly, the story about the shavings in W's underwear was true but not related to the current operation or any members of Project X. It turns out James Guckart was shaving and some of his pubic stubble fell into W's underwear. This was not an op. It was just carelessness. Go figure.

[liam_laddie]

9. tracking....

The aspens are being successfully tracked and recorded.

[emald]

10. okay

I got some smoke. I'll bite. Let me get my hat, the tin foil one. And my pipe. The green one. Okay, whats the story?

[mikelewis]

12. There is no story, this is a hoax....

We just make this stuff up to play around. There is no operation called Project X. It's a just a little game.

However, as the game progesses, you will be recieving updates on the progress of the imaginary operation.

[patdem]

14. Great diversionary tactic, mike...you are super!

You are doing a helluva job mikey..and the 'ice pond'..is now a 'swamp'..just remember and lets keep it up!

Edit:..forgot who I was talking to!

[mikelewis]

18. You know, I love this stuff but...

this constant updating of the "lingo" is killing me. It's like having to learn a whole new language every frickin week. It's almost as if the Basin of fruited beets will never get here. Oh well, snarking the poodle is a bitch but I guess no one said it'd be easy.

Peace

[Gildor Inglorion]

15. Jackdaws love my big sphynx of quartz.

I have the honor to report that absolutely nothing has been accomplished in accordance with the Rainbow Team Directive. There is nothing to see here; move along. Thank you. The preceding has been a response to an elaborate hoax, as is widely known. (The cockatoos in Timbuktu are very blue.)

[mikelewis]

20. Istanbul has been changed to Constantinople

Don't forget to braise the chickens on the way into the oven.

[flyarm]

16. man on first ...peeper in dugout..squeeze is on...trainer seen running to

clubhouse..casey is in mudsville ready for orders...have my project x decoder ready..awaiting your call...

chinese fortune cookie third base...

leave no clues in obvious place...look for y in the road before marking spot...tree hard right!

and home for the holidays!!

fly

[flyarm]

17. no no..weenie weenie..weenie...

there is no tree hard right ..it is hallow!!

fly

[mikelewis]

21. Shit - did you contact the barking dog?

If not, do so immediately.

[patdem]

23. Why DO you fly in the face of your directives..it is a HARD LEFT

damn..we had to fly you all over the world and then you fly into a rage..we can not be at fault here...if you were a fly on the wall we would have difficulty dependiing on you...but so far you have been a great fly swatter!

[flyarm]

37. I GOT IT..CODE TAKEN AND DECIFERED!!

will be ready to go to project Z...birds fly , toads hopping all over...fly fly...and a shy fly by..i will await your next contact!!

fly on wall swatted, and taken care of...no further actions taken...but a question arises i must get reply on.. for the reserve fly...

bye...fly

[liam_laddie]

22. change in operation Q

Beta is being re-directed in a more strategic direction.
All communications dark until further notice. Do not
depend on Halloween for cover. Focus on Ohio.
Over&out, Cap'n X...

[mikelewis]

27. No in Ohio is over....

Dekalb Agra link confirmed. The Andersons are in the headlights. The corn may grow but they'll never burn it. That I can promise. 45 - 4 confirms it and seals the deal. No in Ohio.

[liam_laddie]

32. secure link

Well...who's gonna go out for pizza? Be wary of all mushrooms. Wait, just don't order them. Try the....(message interrupted)

Black HH-60's above...oh, shit! Is project X compromised?

[Crazy Guggenheim]

33. OMG! Beta Z-ER-LL-Purple!!

[markus]

25. QPOUI#)$(8NQ WPOEIRUNNN NNNAPOISUDRFN

OUT

[nickyt]

29. The eagle has landed. In an aspen grove. Facing west. That is all.

[mike_c]

30. it seems like only yesterday that Phase I was little more than a dream...

...that we all shared. Now it's sowing havoc and confusion among our foes. I'm so proud of the Project X team. One day we'll remember this as the greatest struggle of our times. We WILL prevail!

[flyarm]

38. but it is all a hoax..remember that operatives...

nothing done here is remembered...what goes on here stays here...

no eyes will see beyond this point...


we will be blinded by this operation..and tongues scorched if words go beyond this peaceful place of x

fly

[phaseolus]

31. uno. tres. cinco. cinco. nueve.

ocho. dos. zero. uno. siete.
siete. seis. uno. quatro. uno.
quatro. cinco. quatro. seis. uno.
siete. nueve. ocho. siete. dos.
tres. cinco. cinco. tres. seis.
yankee. hotel. foxtrot.

[mikelewis]

34. Secret decoder ring time folks....

The key:
AAA

Encrypted message:
ZQNDF
BXVXP
TZORX
JBHJU

NDVRL
ZWIQP
CPJMX
ODROW

ZHMZB
XQLFF
TBJMF
IQBXY

ZGYKZ
NID

[phaseolus]

39. "Buy More Ovaltine"???!?!?

silly secret project...

[XemaSab]

40. Periwinkle Coatimundi copies.

The dingo ate my baby.

Repeat: The dingo ate my baby.

Cleared for Phase Two Gamma.

Periwinkle Coatimundi over and out.

[The Magistrate]

42. Sin Novedad

[ninkasi]

43. Pero con mucho carino...

sin duda.

[mikelewis]

45. Soapy hands are Clean - Ardvark and Snail Dine tonight