Flying Spaghetti Monster and Kansas School Board

[SCDem]

I don't know if you are all following the Kansas School Board voting to teach Creationism in science class alongside Evolution. A concerned citizen has written a letter to the school board requesting that if other religion based theories on how everything was created was to be taught, so should his and explained the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I think I have not laughed this hard in a long time. It's really intelligent too! Be sure to read the letters from the school board members and the scientists.

http://www.venganza.org/

"I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

It is for this reason that I’m writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal action. I’m sure you see where we are coming from. If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.

Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.

You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature."

There is much more at the web site and a great store to in order to support the cause of FSM being taught in schools

[mattclearing]

1. Good to know others have been touched by his noodly appendage. n/t

[shoelace414]

3. more pastafarians?

[trof]

14. Pastafarian would be the general term, but...

just as in many other religions, there are various sub-sects.

Tri-Pastafarians believe in the Holy Trinity of Spaghetti, Linguine, and Vermicelli.

The Holy Roman Cannelloni Church is the largest of the Tri-Pastafarian denominations.

Seventh Day Anellis tend to focus on the single FSM diety.

You can learn more about the various sects here:
http://tn.essortment.com/pastatypes_pnk.htm

P.S. Many thank for "pastafarians". Brilliant.
:-)

[Bassic]

2. Yeah I've seen that before.

Completely hilarious

[scarlett1]

25. A political cartoon by Lee Judge from August 12 KC Star

At the Door of a room named Science 101 is a man with a briefcase that reads Kansas Board of Education. On the Blackboard are drawings of Santa, Easter Bunny, the Stork, Unicorn, Tooth Fairy and a Green Cheese Moon, standing in front of the Blackboard is a teacher saying "I thought you didn't want us to limit ourselves to Natural explanations"

http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascitystar/news/opinion/12362150.htm


Edit - typos

[Deep13]

4. in nomine Pasta et Filii et Spagettus Sancti

[trof]

16. What he said.

yeah

[dalaigh lllama]

35. Pater Pasta, qui est in vermicelli

noodled be thy name

[Qanisqineq]

5. I saw that site the other day

I think someone posted the link in a comment on Huffington's Post. I love the t-shirt with the "Kansas Museum of Science" (or whatever). Hilarious!

:rofl:

[ret5hd]

6. bob gives me slack...what does the FSM offer that bob doesn't?

[SCDem]

8. Flimsy moral standards and much more!

WHY YOU SHOULD CONVERT TO FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTERISM

Flimsy moral standards.
Every friday is a relgious holiday. If your work/school objects to that, demand your religious beliefs are respected and threaten to call the ACLU.
Our heaven is WAY better. We've got a Stripper Factory AND a Beer Volcano

[trof]

24. I beg to disagree. Not FLIMSY! Liberal!

Thank you.
;-)

[gmoney]

7. More evidence...

Take THAT evolutionists!

[Contrary1]

38. Yep...

That's one limp noodle.

[Systematic Chaos]

9. All that, AND he's anti-Vegas!

Gotta love it! :D

[SmokingJacket]

10. Personally, I worship at the Church of Stop Shopping.

http://www.revbilly.com/

But I don't know, the idea of pirate regalia is pretty alluring...

[SCDem]

11. And if by beoming pirates we can stop the threat of global warming

I think there is a moral obligation to become Pastafarians and become pirates.

[trof]

12. SCDem: You have converted this atheist of some 40 years.

This is the most lucid and believable explanation of "why we're here" that I've ever come across.
It's irrefutable.
Nominated!

[SCDem]

13. Thanks trof

I'm not sure it has really answered my question of why we're here though?

Through Pastafarianism I am still learning and faithing though :) Maybe it is "You are what you eat" or "What you eat will at sometime consume you" oh so many questions and so many possibilities not backed up by science! The options are limitless.

Maybe we should just "Let go, Let noodle"

[trof]

15. At last I have a raison d'etre. (S'cuse my French.)

[trof]

17. My e-mail to Pope Bobby:

Thanks to DUers for some of the suggestions below.

Dear Pope Bobby,
After floundering around for years with a more-or-less atheistic (or at least agnostic) point of view, at last I've found a belief system I can really get my teeth into.
No pun intended.

On top of your entirely believable revelations on The Flying Spaghetti Monster, blessed be His Name, your discovery of the link between global warming and the decreasing Pirate population is nothing short of mind boggling. To think that this information has been there all along, but it took someone of your cognitive abilities to ferret it out.

Why hasn't the corporate controlled mainstream media picked this up? Maybe I just answered my own question, but it would seem to me that if this got the coverage it so justly deserves that advertising revenues from pasta and related items manufacturers would go through the roof. Just my opinion.

It has been suggested by others, here: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x2037013 that we refer to ourselves as Pastafarians. I second that.

Again, my deepest appreciation for providing this avenue for my salvation.
"Let go. Let noodle."
Your friend,
Massey
(I know your busy saving souls, so no reply is necessary.)

[SCDem]

18. Great letter!

[jonkronz2003]

19. Just sent this to all of them....

I just sent the following e-mail to every member of the school board:

Dear (member name),

I understand the you've recently received a letter from a Mr. Bobby Henderson, a concerned citizen requesting that your school districts teach the alternative view that the universe was created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster (may his Noodly Appendages be always blessed). I am writing to you as a sort of friend of the court supporter. As a devout believer in His Holiness, the FSM, I also must insist that you teach our beliefs along side the contraversial theory of Darwinism and the equally contraversial Intelligent Design theory.

Although I am not a citizen of the great state of Kansas, I feel that the future is unknown (except to Him) and if the future brings me to Kansas as a resident, I would want that great state to have in place a carriculum that supports all scientifically valid viewpoints equally.

Let the students decide!

In all sincerity,
Jon Kronz

[jonkronz2003]

20. Update

Got an auto response from Connie Morris as follows:

"Thank you for emailing! Please know that I make a sincere effort to
read every correspondence that comes my way, however it has become
impossible to personally respond to every contact. I deeply appreciate your
support and the valuable information that you may provide. Input from
each and every individual is important. PS: The KSBE is NOT seeking to
implement Religion in public schools. My hope is to simply encourage
criticisms of Evolution-as the evidence to do so abounds. Be well!
-Connie Morris "


Got a returned mail from Mr Willard-he's probably shut down his e-mail over this :)

[SCDem]

21. Ms Morris' comments are astounding

"PS: The KSBE is NOT seeking to
implement Religion in public schools. My hope is to simply encourage
criticisms of Evolution-as the evidence to do so abounds."

So it is ok because they are not teaching religion but offering criticism to evolution - she must really be trying to spin her ID crap.

[scarlett1]

27. From Pitch Weekly re: Connie Morris

"Unnatural Selection
The strange redemption of Connie Morris, high school slut turned Kansas State Board of Education anti-evolutionist."
By Justin Kendall

above is Mr Kendall's- Title and intro to article -
here is a small snip
Snip
Her freshman year, Connie dated the star basketball player, whom she refers to in the book as "Jeff Opner." They were "the hottest couple in school" and moving fast. Jeff bought his 14-year-old squeeze an engagement ring, and they dreamed of "a fairytale wedding." With the prospect of marriage, Connie decided it was time to punch her V-card.
"One winter night, in front of his fireplace (with his parents in the next room!), I gave way to nature and lost my purity," she writes. "We became soul mates as well as playmates."
For two years they played in Connie's father's basement, but their engagement wouldn't survive Jeff's graduation in 1977.
Newly single, Connie moved on to an affair with one of her high school teachers, who was "blonde, blue eyed, muscular ... and married with small children." Their lack of discretion exposed the liaison, and the affair ended abruptly when the man's wife interrupted a rendezvous, banging on the door, screaming his name and leaving Connie hiding in a closet.

snip

http://www.pitch.com/Issues/2005-08-18/news/feature.html

[mzteris]

28. sounds like she was

still dropping acid after her "conversion"..

"Connie had finally turned her life around by the time she was 28, she writes. She was praying in tongues and letting the Holy Spirit have its way with her. "I started speaking praises to God in an unintelligible, surrealistic, divine language!" she writes. "That was exciting enough, but instantly all colors around me became crisper and brighter." "


This sounds about right, though

. . . "Some girl from the back spoke up in a 'valley-girl' accent," she continues. "Chirping like an irritating bird, she said, 'Well, maybe it was a transference of addiction.' At first I was upset that she would belittle something so miraculous, likening my relationship with Jesus to my relationship with sin. But then I guess I was addicted to Jesus. I needed him worse than I needed drugs. I considered it a good thing to be addicted to serving, loving, worshipping, and examining Jesus. I had to have Him, for without Him I preferred death."


Transference of addiction. Yep.

God had his finger WHERE?????????? What a whackdoodle she is!

[jonkronz2003]

22. Update 2-two voices of reason in the wilderness

Response from Sue Gamble:

Dear Mr. Kronz, Thank you for your message. Please note my response on the FSM site; also know I did not support the hearings nor do I support changing the definition of science to include supernatural explanations; unfortunately, I am in a minority of four on the state board.

On August 9, 2005 the six member majority on the state board finally exercised their majority vote and accepted science standards that change the definition of science to include supernatural explanations of natural phenomenon. I and the other minority members voted against these flawed standards.

Kansas has a long history of very strong education. Currently Kansas is rated in the top 10 of about anything that is used to measure educational quality nationally. That is one of the things that the minority on the state board finds so troublesome. We feel the quality of our education system could be jeopardized as a result of this action to weaken science standards. Unfortunately, our minority of four votes could not stop the six member majority on the board from acting.

In 1999 the state board adopted science standards that seriously de-valued evolution. In 2000 the Kansas electorate removed three of the four members who voted for the 1999 flawed standards. I hope they will do the same in 2006.

Four of the six member majority will be up for election in 2006: Bacon, Van Meter, Willard, Morris. I am compiling a list of folks from all over the world who want to help defeat these four. If you would like to help just let me know and I will add your name. Thanks for caring.

Sincerely,

Sue Gamble


Response from Janet Waugh

Thanks for your comments. I am supporting the science committee recommendations; however, at the present time I am a minority member of the board.

Janet Waugh

PS The standards as now accepted by the six member majority do not include the words creationism or intelligent design but the definition of science tacitly includes the acknowledgment that there are other explanations for science than natural ones. The language is subtle but the concepts are there and I think they weaken the science standards and I will continue to oppose them.

[Roland99]

23. Are they ignoring your religious beliefs? How dare they

;)

[sunnystarr]

26. OMG TOOOO FUNNY!!! I loved the scientists' endorsements. (nt)

[Hissyspit]

29. F*ck that Flying Spaghetti Monster nonsense. It is absurd and not based

on science.

Clearly, the universe was created by an invisible 6-foot three-inch rabbit named Harvey. The evidence is overwhelming. The existence of pookas is well documented and, anyway, if he didn't invent the universe, why would he be named Harvey?

[Extend a Hand]

32. aaaaawwww

bunnies are much cuter than Flying Spaghetti Monster.
However,my husband is converting to FSMism so I guess I will too--
you know, for the sake of the children.


But, just so Harvey knows we remember, I'll ask that our first
grandchild be given his name.
(or at least our first grand-cat)

[Hissyspit]

37. Orthodox Flying Spaghetti Monsterism or Zen Flying Spaghetti Monsterism?

The kids will make their own choices as they become adults, anyway.

[phatkatt]

30. Aaaaarg! Me hearties!

Good to see me mates that have said "Aye" to his saucy grace and shall not walk the plank into the boiling cauldron, but forever enjoy the stripper factory and beer volcano in the great pasta bowl in the sky!

[tinrobot]

31. But if Mom makes spaghetti...

How can spaghetti make Mom?

Me confused.

[Nikki Stone 1]

33. Flying Spaghetti Monster? Does this mean God is Italian?

:eyes:

[trof]

34. Nope, Chinese.

You could look it up.

[TreasonousBastard]

36. Funny you should mention this, because...

there is the Theory of the Great Noodle which predates Pastafarianism by several hundred years. It is speculated that Pastafarianism is simply a corruption of Noodlism started by certain misunderstandings found in a kosher Chinese restaurant/temple in Crown Heights, Brooklyn.

The Noodlers are split between the Shrimp Mei Funs, Subgum Lo Meins and several smaller groups whose primary theological differences are whether rice or wheat noodles created the world as it is.

[Nikki Stone 1]

41. It's like the followers of the shoe and the followers of the gourd

I assume the proponents of rice noodles as creators of the world are allergic to wheat?

[craigolemiss]

39. Ron Reagan actually showed FSM on MSNBC Wed.

Then he just about lost it laughing so hard---beyooteeful

Got to get a T-Shirt

[RevCheesehead]

40. Sexist tirade.

Everyone knows the Flying Spaghetti Monster is female.