Am I a total heartless wench for saying this to my husband?

[CoffeeCat]

Many of you have said that you are getting calls from the DOD, which is polling about military recruitment. I think we're getting those calls too. They're asking for my husband and hanging up when I say that he's not there.

I told my husband about these military calls and he said, "I'd sign up if they asked me."

Can I tell you how livid I was? I wanted to fricking punch a hole in the wall, but I maintained composure. We were reading books to our kids and I said, "So you're telling me that you'd voluntarily leave me and our 4 year old and 5 year old daughters to fight for George's Bush's lie and for the neocon PNACer sociopaths who are doing this for oil?"

He looked at me and said, "You've been on DU too much."

Holey crickey---is this the progressive I married????

I told my husband, "You know what...let's not go down this road. Let's just not go there, because I can't believe you are saying this."

I'm just going to drop this, and assume that my husband had a momentary lapse. He's always been extremely liberal. He voted for Nader in 2000 and wasn't happy with Kerry because he said he was "Republican lite".

Guys...I never had to think about this before--but after my husband went to sleep, I sat up thinking and I realized that if my husband enlisted--to fight in this sick, disgusting lie--that I would divorce him the moment he signed those papers. It really bothered me to scenario it out like that. We have an incredibly strong marriage.

I can't help it though. It would be totally over. I'd walk away and never look back if he chose Bush's ridiculous, destructive warmongering over us.

Am I totally off base here?

[BlueEyedSon]

1. What kind of idiot did you marry? I would get a divorce, or at least

a de-programming expert. BTW: how did he vote?

Take that with a grain of salt, I'm to the left of Chomsky.

[Sperk]

2. I think men (not all, but many), just like to sound tough. Just file it

away in the "dumb things my husband said" file. :evilgrin:

[Freedom_from_Chains]

3. I don't think you are

Being a military wife is no small undertaking, particularly during times of war. I don't think joining the military is a decision that a husband can make by himself.

[Coexist]

4. maybe he was being flip and you misunderstood?

[radwriter0555]

5. But you see, what he believes is EASIER than what we KNOW... Does

that make sense?

It's incredibly courageous to know and acknowledge what we here KNOW about bush, his lies, his crimes and his plans for further world destruction.

It's easier to believe what the media says; that bush is just a regular guy caught up in a terrible problem that he's trying to solve -- oh -- and that he cares about we, the people.

That *is* the easier path to follow... our path, one of knowing really, really, really terrible stuff about really, really, really terrible people with bad, evil and nefarious schemes is a massive burden to bear.

But I'd be separating my assets and starting to cover my ass if I were you.

[blogbear]

6. I was taught when I was young to avoid the subjects of religion, sex,

and politics..because those subjects are divisive and can be explosive..There are proper 'forums' for discussion on these topics..When we stray from these forums (which I have done all too often)..we each take a chance of conflict with friends and loved ones..We must be careful, sensitive, and thoughtful else we risk alienating or altogether losing the ones we care for the most..

[electropop]

15. Those are the only things I talk about.

You can only say so much about the weather. }(

[Yupster]

35. The NBA playoffs

have been interesting. My wife likes them too.

We enjoy a few TV shows too.

[0007]

56. Do you have a "DemocraticUnderground" bumper sticker

on your vehicle?

[blogbear]

70. You're right and the 'weather' isn't normally as 'juicy'..

[uncle ray]

40. if you can't talk about those things

with your SPOUSE, there is something very wrong with your marriage.

[blogbear]

67. Either IS something wrong or WILL be..Depends on the couple and

nature of relationship possibly..Emotions can run high and points of view can become especially sharp..Unless totally prepared and extremely tolerant I would tread softly here!

[Bridget Burke]

43. Those hot topics should be avoided "in society"

At parties, at work, at big family gatherings (!). If you can't talk about religion, sex or politics with your mate, the relationship is in trouble.

And this is not just a discussion. Joining the military is a huge decision affecting the whole family--especially with the warmongers in DC.

My father was called back to active duty for the "Cold War." Within 5 years, my mother was a widow with 3 pre-schoolers.

[blogbear]

68. I hear you.. It's great when and if families can talk! I wish everyone

could and would talk and clear the air..I don't believe that because something hasn't been tried or openly discussed before that said topic has to necessarily turn into a gonner..

[leesa]

59. I think MOST Americans are taught this and I think it's part of the reason

we're in this mess today. We should discuss these things openly and frequently. That way they don't become explosive AND you have some idea of what's going on.

[blogbear]

69. I like what you say and WE can talk definately!!

[SmokingJacket]

7. Is he having a personal crisis of some kind?

Are things bad at work?

If I were in your shoes, I'd try to bite my tongue and find out what he's really thinking. If he's a Naderite talking about enlisting, it sounds to me like he's unhappy about something in his life. (Unless he's been listening to Limbaugh in the car... then it's simple brainwashing.)

I mean -- I agree with you. I couldn't take it if my husband was to take off for Iraq and leave us (I have two small kids too). I'd throw his crap out on the lawn.

But I know if I got angry and threatened my husband with divorce, it would probably just drive us apart, and wouldn't get at the heart of the problem.

Find out what's going on with him!

[quaoar]

57. I agree

He is unhappy about something and this is his way of expressing it without sounding like he's whining.

Find out what's really bothering him.

[Dora]

8. Whoa!

Well, an automatic divorce seems pretty trigger-quick, but if I were in your shoes, I'd certainly see it as something for discussion.

Let's hope he was being ironic, eh?

[Jacobin]

9. "I would sign up if they asked me"

That sounds like some kind of bizarro statement to make you angry.

Why would they need to ask him?

This isn't a dance, fer cryin out loud. So, he wouldn't go if they don't ask him but he would go if they called him on the phone? and said "pretty please"

[K8-EEE]

47. Bingo....I Think He's Full Of Shit

Like he has to BE ASKED? If he wanted to he could sign up right now. He's trying to get to you -- and succeeding!

I wonder if he feels threatened by your time on DU (expanding your mind, reading, etc.?)

I'm sure there are many, MANY guys out there that will go "if they need me" and "if they ask me..." that's why the Army is missing their recruiting goal by 42%!

[Demit]

10. My take is that he feels it would be his duty, answering the call of his

country. Like, however reluctantly, he feels he would have to. Those other men are over there...he's thinking what a creep he'd feel like if he said no.

Notice he's not volunteering. And you are not a heartless wench. It's your job to make him see he has responsibilities here, and make him stay. JMO

[T Wolf]

11. Absolutely not heartless!

I feel bad for you. It must make you question everything about your marriage.

In a calm moment, I would discuss the matter with him. When something comes so completely out of right field it needs to be dealt with openly and honestly. You need to consider if you really want this man to continue to be an influence in the lives of your children.

As a logistical point, you should not divorce him if he joins up. There are benefits you can get as a military spouse. If he joins the 1500, then you get the death benefit. Do it when he comes back.

[whistle]

12. It's the insanity of the times and perhaps the frustrations that....

...have settled in from this long exposure to the hopelessness and feelings of helplessness that Bush and the republican policies are having and the failure of the democrats that have been elected by us to counter and resist these forces. Sounds like your husband has wavered from the position you have perceived him to have, but getting angry will only polarize the two of you.

Keep your head, take a deep breath and open up the dialog. Using open threats of consequences like divorce won't get to the heart of understanding what is behind these thoughts that your husband has. Examine your own insecurity issues, get to the bottom of your own fears, face reality not the illusions of words and perceptions, show what a real democrat is like and work with the facts.

[still_one]

13. it is hard for me to believe that he was not putting you on

frankly, anyone who participates in this war in iraq knowing what we know now, has no moral sense of what is right and wrong

Incidently, if he really felt that way, he wouldn't have to wait for a phone call, just walk down to the latest recruiting office, since he is not doing that, I assume he was trying to yank your chain

[Yupster]

36. Sometimes when men outside of the age range

say things like that, they mean if there's a disaster, then they would go.

But they recognize that for them to be called, it would have to be a real crisis for the country.

So, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

[mike_c]

14. without impugning his motives...

...I'd say that in your shoes I'd feel exactly the way you described. IF he enlisted under these circumstances, to fight a corrupt war for a greedy foreign policy, he would be setting your interests-- and your joint interests-- aside in favor of some perceived self interest that at best would be unhealthy for your relationship. Just my two cents.

[ArkDem]

16. He might just be wanting to get away from you and his family

responsibilities.

[apple_ridge]

17. Hand him the phone the next time they call.

All your questions will then be answered.

[wtbymark]

18. two people who are intimately together

need to have the same views on certain things, one of them is politics.

on edit:typo

[AspenRose]

37. It would certainly make things smoother

I don't know how Carville and Matalin do it, but they manage to be on opposite pages and have (from what we can tell) a solid marriage.

My husband & I don't agree and this past election made for a very tense household (plus I was pregnant at the time...I didn't need that additional stress).

I don't think it's absolutely necessary but it would make things smoother.

[laugle]

65. I think you are right,

fortunately, my husband and I do have the same politics, but you don't want to make a too broad a statement on that, remember, James Carville and Mary Matlin then I guess they are propably an exception! They are very entertaining, don't you think, but still it must be hard.

[Jim__]

19. How can your marriage be incredibly strong, and you're that

surprised by your husband's answer? You seem totally committed to an anti-war position, and your husband's response indicates he's willing to go and fight in this war. If you both feel that strongly, how could you not have known? Just superficially from your post, it sounds like your marriage has a serious communication problem.

[BlueIris]

20. Respectfully, with all necessary kindness:

No, you're NOT a "heartless wench." You're a person who knows the truth. Something is well, wrong with your partner right now. You might not know what it is yet, but you need to find out. ASAP. Then take the appropriate action.

Take this with whatever amount of salt you must add from someone who has never been married and does not have children with anyone, but I think you need to reevaluate your relationship immediately. Get your husband to elaborate on his reasons for his, ahem, dissociation from reality and desire to serve in the military at this time. For all you know, this may, as you indicate, be some kind of a fluke. Something could have been developing with him for a while (brainwashing or other coercion by a Republican coworker, parent, sibling or friend you don't know about) that he hasn't been discussing with you (a huge problem in and of itself if you ask me.) I guess there's the remote possibility that he's been misleading you about his values as long as you've know him--that happened to me once. In a relationship that all total had lasted ten years. It's also possible that his support for Nader and lack of love for Kerry were mindsets he adopted in reaction to an extremely conservative upbringing--that's hard to come back from, as the issues run terribly deep--and he had suddenly regressed back into that mindset. I've watched that happen, too, and it's not pretty. Or it could be something else entirely. Brain tumor? A delayed reaction to the social conditioning which tells men that if they turn away from their military in wartime they are fundamentally weak and unpatriotic? Really listen to his answers to your questions about what the hell is going on, then, well, decide what you're going to do and do it.

If he unveils a never-before-seen support for the war or, God forbid, Bush, and continues with the disrespect for your use of the Internet and your love of facts? I personally? Would seek a divorce. If he's prepared to abandon you and your family to go to this war, breaking all forms of commitment you two pledged to each other and sacrifices you made to be together--the marriage is already, essentially, over.

I really wish you the best of luck. I don't envy you.

[mimitabby]

46. he must be listening to freeper talk radio shows!

[BlueIris]

53. That can do it.

But so could a thousand other things. I just hope she is able to get to the bottom of what's really going on with him and make the right call based on what she finds out, even though it might seem like the hard one.

[rocktivity]

21. I would have laughed and said "I'd divorce you if you signed up!"

and see how he reacted--amusement, shock, fear. At least that way I would have known where I really stood.

:headbang:
rocknation

[LiberalFighter]

71. And that you will buy life insurance on him

[NYC2099]

22. Get a bus ticket...

And go to Las Vegas. Call back and tell your husband you've been kidnapped and.....wait, that was a different high-strung over-emotional woman. Don't snap so easy. Just roll your eyes at him - he wanted to get a rise out of you - and he got it!!! He won!!!

[Name removed]

23. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[katinmn]

24. no, I'd have the same reaction as you.

Maybe other posters are right in thinking there must be something else going on. Maybe he was just trying to push your buttons.

If the symptoms persist, get him into therapy if you can.

[LuPeRcALiO]

25. tried to PM

but it didn't work sorry. Anyway I just wanted to suggest that it could be work-related. If his job is in jeopardy (and whose isn't these days) he could be feeling like he needs to enlist to keep a paycheck coming in.

[poppet]

27. he might just want some attention

Maybe he wants attention. It sounds like a statement someone would make just to get a reaction from another person.

[itcfish1]

26. Don't Go Nuts

Something in men makes them want to be warriors. But there is something even stronger than the warrior gene. Be patient and try reasoning with him. I married a republican right winger. Dam the man not only converted to being a liberal democrat but he even changed his religion. Women are miracle workers.

:patriot:

[AspenRose]

38. E mail me and tell me how you did it!!!!

:-)

:hug: You give me hope!

[yorkiemommie1]

54. how'd you do that???

31 years married to the only repub in his family. he won't budge.

we had screaming yelling fights pre- and post-election and i threatened divorce. even now, i maintain my distance because i trust NO ONE who voted for *, esp. when since i did my best to inform him from PNAC on up.

i have made only small bits of progress: he doesn't watch *'s news conferences, didn't watch the inauguration, or State/Union speech. He used to watch them ALL. he's pro-choice and not a fundie. in his heart, he knows I'M RIGHT.

but our daughter's a DEMOCRAT and a very strong one! she will have to be. I told her tough times are upon us and I won't be around forever.

[AspenRose]

64. I say we send them to "Republican Rehab."

;-)

:hug:

[seabeyond]

73. husband voted for bush in 2000

couldnt talk politics to him at all. about beginning of war he started paying attention. by election not only did he vote kerry, he would razz his texas repug friends about bush. after election he had to turn off all news for months, and wouldnt let anyone talk politics. he was and is so disgusted by republicans. this is an nra card carrying republican texan from midland

now, he embraces all the stickers on my car, took two of my best and put on his clip board he takes into businesses and continues to enlighten his fellow republican clients and friends

[DivinBreuvage]

28. I think the idea of military service resonates within men

in some deep and complicated way. I don't know if it's a reflection of the ancient animal instinct to protect his mate and offspring, or if it springs from some instilled or inherited concept of manliness or masculine duty. But I do think it is bound to something in the male psyche that we might not feel or "understand", except in some kind of abstract theoretical way.

My husband despises Bush and damns the war in Iraq as a lie, a crime, and a quaqmire. He is repulsed by alpha male military Tom Clancy stuff. But he too out of the blue one day told me quite bluntly that he'd go if they took him. We didn't spend too much time talking about it, and the talking we did do was not conducive to increasing our understanding of each others' feelings, but I have often thought about it since.

I read a comment the other day about Phil Ochs, whom I absolutely adore. The writer said that while Phil absolutely hated the cruelty of war and the criminal way that the US pursued it in Vietnam, the Dominican Republic, and so forth, that he still identified with soldiers and often seemed to suggest a wish to view himself as a soldier or heroic fighter.

The only conclusion I can reach is that there has to be something in the idea of being a warrior or a soldier or defending the pack or whatever that something in the man's subsconsious responds to, and it exists independently of surface concerns like politics, legality, morality, etc. Of course I don't know your husband, but I am quite certain that mine, when he said he would go, has no intention of doing it for the benefit of George Bush or American imperialism. As much as he hates the war in Iraq I think it becomes incidental for him when faced with the psychic question of fulfilling his biological imperative or whatever it is that makes this issue tick in him.

My hunch is that deep down, in some kind of subconscious visceral way, your husband really does feel that if he went he would be doing the right thing by you and your daughters, or at least by himself (in the sense of feeling that it was what he had to do).

[BlueIris]

29. Addendum to previous post:

If, as others have suggested, you discover your husband made his statement flippantly, to yank your chain or get a rise out of you, displaying such profound insensitivity toward your perfectly reasonable feelings about one of your most important beliefs? That'd be enough for me. That's beneath immaturity and into the realm of infantile. Not to mention what it would say about how seriously he doesn't take his commitment to you or your family. You've got two kids under ten, you don't need the other important person in your life to walk around acting like one.

[zanne]

30. He's jerking your chain.

Sounds like he wants a fight. That does happen sometimes. Call him on it.

[ElsewheresDaughter]

31. "off base?" HELL NO you hit a Grandslam!...i would feel them same way

[Catherine Vincent]

32. I can't believe your husband said that. I would be upset too.

But you didn't tell us if your hubby is a Rep. He has been supportive of you with everything else. I would just leave it alone, maybe he wasn't being serious. And you tell him to leave DU out of this.:-)

[auntAgonist]

33. If your marriage

is as strong as you believe it to be, divorce would be the last resort to any conflict. There is MUCH more to your husband's response than what he's said initially. Maybe HE feels you are spending too much time at the computer, maybe he feels slighted. NOW is the time to TALK and get it out in the open. I believe he was giving you an avenue to discuss things. Outrageous statements usually have something that provoked them.

just my 2cents.

good luck.

aA

[CoffeeCat]

34. THANK YOU for your insight and wisdom.....you all had great advice...

I listened to what all of you had to say, and I agreed with all of you who suggested that this was about more than my husband's comments.

I spoke with him about what he meant, and what this all boils down to is--------I'm spending too much time on the computer, and on DU--and it hurts his feelings.

I don't think my husband was intentionally trying to hurt me. However, he feels alienated by my time on here. Making those comments was a way to spark conversation. His way of getting my attention, I suppose.

We discussed our politics, on which we are usually in total agreement. He's incredibly knowledgeable. I married him for his amazing mind. We both agree that we're simpatico on politics. However, he feels that I am too wrapped up in DU--and too emotionally entrenched in worrying about politics. He said, "Yes, I worry about the war too. I know that they're lying scum. They're also trying to shred the Constitution and dismantle Social Security. However, I don't sit around ruminating and worrying about this stuff incessantly. I can't live like that."

I told him I understood his feelings. And I do. He's also under tremendous pressure at work.

We disagree on staying in this country, and that's a point of contention. I don't want to be here if things worsen. My husband thinks that things will improve, and that the Rep majority will be short lived. I'm more pessimistic. We'll see.

I do believe--that DU depresses me sometimes. I'm grateful for all of the knowledge that I've gleaned here. However, maybe sometimes it's good to take a step back. The truth IS pretty blinding. I don't want to bury my head in the sand and I never will.

However, my husband is feeling neglected and he's concerned about my outlook on life in general. I think I need to take a personal inventory. I know that there are times after I read in here--that I feel like the walls are crashing in on me. And it only seems to worsen, with this evil administration.

I'm glad I stepped back, calmed down and unearthed what was behind his "I'm going to war" comments. Thanks for helping me to see that his comments were the tip of the emotional iceberg!

You guys are so damn smart!!!

Onward and upward.

[faithnotgreed]

44. honest communication is soooo important!

im so glad that both of you could talk this out and find out whats actually going on

and yes this place is so full of wisdom and awesome people talking about news of the utter destruction of our constitution and peoples
its so understandable how this impacts our hearts and lives and relationships

very best wishes to everyone on keeping their souls - and relationships - alive in the midst of this madness
and that definitely sometimes can mean we have to take a break from all this

take good care

[anarchy1999]

48. TwoSparkles, as I slowly read through this thread, I was starting to think

about what you posted.

I was thinking that maybe he was feeling jealous of your time at DU and missing you.

It's happened in our marriage, more than once over the course of the last couple of years. I'm glad you stepped back and were able to talk it out. You all will make it. It is tough times for everyone. I don't think so much that DU is "depressing", what is happening in the world, is. DU is a tremendous resource, but it can get addictive, moderation is key.

Learn to walk away and smell more of the roses, especially with your hubby and daughters'.

Peace.
Anarchy1999

[bobbieinok]

63. being on DU a lot, thinking about current politics a lot can be very

depressing.......this attitude can unconsciously affect the relationship with spouse and children

for many, if a person you're around a lot is depressed, you become depressed

talk this out......if I were you, I'd cut my time on DU......get involved in some 'happy' hobbies, such as crafts or decorating or sports with kids, etc

[cosmik debris]

39. good luck

His reply "You've been on DU too much." was his way of changing the subject and trying to encourage you to shut up. As a former husband, I can tell you that you are in for a lot of grief if you pursue this.

[flordehinojos]

41. might he have been teasing you?

i had a neighbor who basically said the same thing to me and i answered, WHY WAIT FOR THEM TO CALL YOU? WHY NOT GO DOWN RIGHT NOW AND ENROLL?

he laughed and said nothing else.

[Zhade]

42. No, you're not off base if that's how you feel.

I'd do the same. It's one thing to get dragged into this after being in the military - it's quite another to buy into the lies about Iraq and willingly go serve there.

My apologies, but if he's saying this, I have to wonder how progressive he really is (or if he's being brainwashed).

I feel for you. I really do. Here's hoping he comes to his senses.

[calimary]

45. My usual response to my husband when he says something that

I don't agree with is usually along the lines of a sweet smile, batting eyelashes and in my best, smoothest, silkiest, most honeyed radio voice the statement "ahhh... obviously a man who is no longer interested in blowjobs." Then, still smiling, I gracefully leave the room. It's all in the delivery. Sometimes this really can diffuse bad vibes before they become completely toxic. At least it works for me. More often than not, he blushes and gets this silly smile on his face, and it snaps him out of it, whatever it was. Humor can be helpful, and disarming. And sometimes you get a fringe benefit...

:evilgrin:

[txaslftist]

49. Tougher than it sounds at first...

My grandfather fought in WWII and in Korea and instilled a very strong military ethic in all of us. My dad was career usaf, my brother career usaf, my sister married a career usaf guy...

It is tough to just dismiss that desire to join the service. It's not about being tough, either. It's not really about whether its a just war or not.

It's about... hell, it's hard to figure out WHAT it is about.

Patriotism, I suppose. I'm not saying let him join and I'm not saying you shouldn't divorce him if he does, I'm just saying its more than liberal and conservatives/democrats and republicans and all of that.

The military ethic is one of service and sacrifice, and at it's core is a pretty noble ideal.

The distant sounds of war drums beating can stir up this unfathomable thing in the heart of just about anyone. That said, this is sure a shitty little war to want to get involved in.

Try to let him see how fucked up this little Bush misadventure is before you judge his motivation.

And for Chrissakes, I wish you luck.

[ccarter84]

50. Hoping he's joking...question...what calls are DU members

receiving from the DOD? Have I missed somethin in the past few days?

Best of luck for you and your family that this was just a misunderstanding/lapse.
-CC

[Daphne08]

51. My husband is a pacifist

and would never kill anyone unless our home or the U.S. were being invaded, but he does think I stay on DU too much... he says I'm growing angrier.

I've told him, "Yes, I'm incensed more each day. Why aren't you?"

He is such a laid-back, good-hearted guy (a real Moderate, he's voted Democratic and Republican, depending on person) that he believes everything will work out-- that the American people will not allow anything radical (like fundamentalist Christian movement in government) to happen here.

His thoughts: The public is losing confidence in Bush administration and with Congress because of the war, the relentless Social security push, etc.

He says that our system does work and they will lose lots of people in 2006. I hope he's right.

[CoffeeCat]

60. That's exactly what my husband says...verbatium.

My husband assumes that everything will work out. He's also said that Bush has gone to far, and the next election will reflect that most view him as a radical and a failure.

Like your husband, mine is laid-back and he has a good heart. He's not the type of person to organize a protest or to get angry about issues. However, he stays very informed and interested.

I don't know about you--but I feel that our husbands' attitude toward Bush reflects what a good chunk of America thinks. Many are very turned off from Bush--but they don't believe he's dangerous to democracy. They also don't fully understand the neocon/PNAC agenda. They just see Bush as a mindless, ultra-conservative who has made bad decisions.

My husband says I'm growing angrier. I hear what he's saying and I agree to some extent. I mean, how can you know the truth and not be outraged? My husband respects my passion. However, we both agree that I need to spend more time being proactive--instead of getting angry on a messageboard. We've decided to organize some family charity activities with our kids--that help us to funnel the anger and put it to good use.

Our husbands reflect a good chunk of society. I'd say about 30 percent of Americans feel as our husbands do. They don't like Bush, but they don't seen the danger and the threat to our democracy that we do. Let's hope--even though this 30 percent may not see everything that we see--that they can help vote out these fascists in 06.

And then there's the issue of election fraud. (((sigh))) And that's another chapter in this. My husband--like the majority of Americans believe that 04 was not totally fair--but they don't believe in a concerted effort to rig and steal the election--as many of us do.

It takes a GREAT DEAL to move that 30 percent from disapproval of Bush to total awareness and understanding of Bush's corruption, evil and fascist tactics. Let's just hope they can swing upcoming elections.

Thanks for your thoughts. I relate to them a great deal!

[leftofthedial]

52. All wives are total heartless wenches

(I'm going through a divorce, so that was my senseless venting for the day. I actually love women. I love 'em up one side and down the other.)

He's frigging nuts and sounds like a Kool-Aid drinker to me. Hard to fathom. I thoroughly agree with you.

[0007]

55. No!

How could any one carry on a decent conversation with a right wing thinking asshole?

Your better off without the jerk!

[cyberpj]

58. Late to this post, I know, but what does he say when you ask "WHY?"

If you can get him to expose his reasons, then you can deal with them effectively with facts.

Maybe.

[kodi]

61. yes, and worse.

and if i posted how i really felt about what you did and said i would be banned from this site.

[laugle]

62. Your husband is exhibiting classic symtoms

of passive-aggressive behavior. Something is bothering him that has nothing to do with the war in Iraq. After all, he is not going down to sign up. For some reason, he is pushing your button. Like you, I would be absolutly freaked if my wonderful husband of 17 years this month told me that, I would think he had gone totally mad!! How long have you been married? Try to find out what is really going on with him. You both need to talk about this, it is an extremely important issue which would affect all of your families lives. Try not to be defensive, and don't get negative. Effective communication works only if the other person listens. I find with my husband, if I yell he immediately turns off and doesn't hear me. Anyway, good luck to you. Hope you don't mind the advice of a 52 year old, I don't claim to have all the answers.

[minnesotaDFLer]

66. he probably lied

did he lie about being a progressive?

[wmills551]

72. Yes you are off base!

Your children should come ahead of your politics. Thanks for asking!

[harpo]

74. divorce him...before he brainwashes your kids into military thinking!!!