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Edited on Sat Apr-09-05 04:41 PM by skip fox
Bush Claims Canonized by Pope in Secret Ceremony
Twisted News, The Vatican. Ap. 9. In a press conference today Persident Bush maintained he was canonized by the late Pope in a top-secret ceremony during his last trip to The Vatican. "Not even his muck-a-muck cardinals knew nothing about it," claimed the President, stating the ritual occured in a hidden back chamber of the Pope's living quarters and saying it was like an initiation into a fraternity. "I had to swear with three fingers in a secret salute and spit on my hand then slap my head and memorize a whole bunch of secret stories or something and read all the code books so I could recognize other secret saints when I saw them," Bush said.
When told by a spokesman for The Vatican that such an occurance was impossible for at least a dozen reasons, Bush said, "THAT's what the Pope told me, He said that people wouldn't believe me cause they hate freedom and things, and they don't want me to be a saint cause of all the discounts I might get or something." As the reporters visiblibly attempted to stifle their reaction, Bush quickly added, "They're America haters, I think."
When the newspeople, attendants, and guards broke in hysterical laughter, the President marched off the dias and left the room.
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