I want a big gun.

[elias49]

Not so big that it's hard to handle, but big enough so I feel a kind of weather-beaten self-confidence. I want to feel truly gritty like my hero, John Wayne. There are 3 gun shops within 10 miles of my house in the country. And, of course there's always WalMart. So there are plenty of guns to choose from. I went to one of my local shops a couple of times during the millennium scare. But it wasn't the fear of runaway lawlessness that got be going. If I lost my internet access because of the change to 2001, I figured I might need a crutch to support my rage.
In the end, I made it into 2001 unscathed. But ever since then I've been getting more and more anxious. What if an Arab knocked on my door one day? Or what about going into the Quick Mart in town late at night? I think the guy who runs it is Arab. I don't know how to explain this hang-up I have with Arabs. But there it is.
There are other reasons why I want a big gun. I worry all the time about someone coming around my neighborhood and stealing my shit. If I had a big gun - or just any gun - I could put my own personal stamp on things and turn an attempted robbery into a bloody mess.
Back when I was a chicken-shit, I installed surveillance cameras outside my house. Very cool! Now if I'm at my computer, downstairs in my finished basement, I can keep tabs on my driveway and my back door. It's like having caller ID in a way. You get that 5 second jump on the fight-or-flight thing. But I don't know...if I have security cameras anda gun, would that be considered unfair?
I need a gun that's really easy to use, with a light trigger, because I have rheumatoid arthritis and if I wake up in the night to the sound of someone trying to steal my shit, I'd want a gun that doesn't require a lot of dexterity. But that shouldn't be a problem. The elderly are a group that's often encouraged to keep a gun for 'self defense' so there must be a lot of choices for ease of handling. I have an aunt I'll call Mary - she's almost 80 and is still recovering from hip surgery - who was showing her dear friend the Beretta her brother had bought her for Christmas but when she knocked over her glass of Sherry with the pistol barrel and it got all over, she thought better and went and put the gun back under her pillow where it rightfully belonged. Lesson learned, I'd say!
Some have suggested that extended clips might be particularly helpful to the infirm. You can miss the target a number of times and still have a chance to save your crystal. But then there's the extra weight.
There are plenty of other issues to consider about owning a gun. But my arthritic fingers are getting tired, the sun's going down and I'm not sure, but I think I heard something in the kitchen.
Happy trails!

[hack89]

1. You don't fit the mold of the typical gun owner

you appear very angry and fearful. Perhaps some therapy is in order first?

[KansasVoter]

7. He sound like all of them I know!

[blondeatlast]

10. +1 nt

[Hoyt]

24. No joke. Almost all I've known, and the one decent gunner wouldn't carry it in public.

[TPaine7]

29. He sounds like you? (I thought you were a gun owner.... hmmmm) n/t

[petronius]

31. I'm not surprised at all that the satirical, obviously unserious, and completely lacking in

a factual foundation OP sounds exactly like all the gun owners you claim to know...

[krispos42]

38. And let's see...

...that would be gun owners that you get in the face of with your position on guns and force them to cough up reasons why you shouldn't outlaw their guns?

Gee, and I wonder why all the gun owners that you personally know sound, to you, paranoid.



If you went after, say, people that wear seatbelts with the same method you did gun owners, you would come to the conclusion that those people are scared, paranoid, and fully expect to get into a collision with a semi full of jet fuel on a daily basis.

[benEzra]

45. I thought you said all the gun owners you know were country-club-skeet types?

Besides, John Wayne was way before our time. Wayne's movie roles were, what, mid-1800s' Colt Peacemakers and 1911-style pistols? "Cowboys and indians" and WW2? My parents used to watch John Wayne movies when I was a little kid (or prior), and I'm 40, for pete's sake.

And the "skeered of Middle Eastern people" meme is funny, given that one of the leading firearms forums on the 'net is run by a Muslim...

[slackmaster]

46. 25 days until Spring

...

[Tuesday Afternoon]

51. and just how many do you know?

[Bold Lib]

52. Does that include the CHL instructor that you are going to take the class from?

I thought you didn't know that many people that carried and were going to take a CHL class to educate yourself??? What's up with that?

[TheCowsCameHome]

2. IBTL

:-)

[panader0]

14. I think he left off the sarcasm tag

[elias49]

19. Thank you.

[Katya Mullethov]

23. Practice makes perfect

Aim for mordacity and YOU might stumble into mere sarcasm . If you want a big gun , and hold nothing but scorn for physics or ergonomics you might try one of these .


Quite popular for those very reasons . That , and it's big .

[uppityperson]

3. Is it Ayrabs you is skeered of or them Muslins?

[cleanhippie]

4. WTF?

Are you trying to be funny or serious?

If its the former, you have failed miserably. If its the latter, you need to go to the Outdoor Life forum and ask that question.

[leftstreet]

5. This should be moved to the No Paragraphs Forum n/t

[jaxx]

6. Best reasoning I've ever read!!

[demmiblue]

8. Strange. So very strange. n/t

[elias49]

20. Just having fun. nt

[cleanhippie]

35. Well then, that was a fail, wasn't it?

[RegieRocker]

9. This is my rifle this is my gun. This is for shootin this is for fun.

I don't take your post seriously.

[Dappleganger]

11. Was going to recommend you get a dog...

and then I thought better.

[TheCowsCameHome]

12. Contact the NRA or the Gungeon

Help is just a click away.

[Ken_Fish]

17. Very poor sarc on the OP's part. Punctuation and spacing

should be refined before bold and the final goal of dry cutting commentary wrapped in sarcasm..

They could check the personals sections of craigslist, maybe some big guns there?

[RagAss]

13. Mods...this belongs in our Religion Forum !

[CreekDog]

15. I get it -a glimpse into the mind...

the mind that feels safer with a gun. the mind that then feels safer with more guns.

the mind that then feels safer with more, new and improved guns.

:rofl:

[Euromutt]

42. Actually, it's more of a glimpse into the mind...

...that mistakenly thinks that knee-jerk stereotypes constitute biting satire.

[Name removed]

16. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Ken_Fish]

18. Maybe a Shake Weight?

[Kennah]

22. That will make your gun bigger for a few minutes, but then ...

... you set it down and smoke a cigarette.

[demmiblue]

21. Now I have to go and listen to some PJ Harvey.

[DonP]

25. Crappy, poorly written flame bait.

[Name removed]

28. Deleted message

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[YllwFvr]

26. this should do

"They weighed nearly 1,350 tonnes, and could fire shells weighing seven tonnes to a range of 37 kilometers (23 miles)."

its caliber was 31.5in and it can fire 14 shots a day. Thats high capacity, and its also an assault weapon.

[provis99]

27. This is my rifle. There are many like it but this one is mine.

My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my rifle and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.

[cleanhippie]

36. Hey, you can google. Good for you.

[spin]

30. I would suggest a S&W 500 ...

Smith & Wesson Model 500

The Smith & Wesson Model 500 is a five-shot, double-action revolver produced by Smith & Wesson, firing the .500 S&W Magnum cartridge.

It is built on S&W's largest frame, the X-Frame. The manufacturer claims it is the "most powerful production revolver in the world today".<2> The Pfeifer Zeliska .600 Nitro Express revolver is more powerful but it is not a "production" revolver. The Model 500 can fire a bullet weighing 350 gr ( 22.7 g; 0.8 oz) at 1975 feet per second (602 m/s) generating a muzzle energy of over 3,030 foot-pounds force (4.1 kJ).

Articles, statements, and opinions vary widely on this firearm. Any of the available bullet weights can be relied on to take game at a range in excess of 200 yards (183 m), a feat matched by only a handful of other handguns. The advanced design of the firearm helps in counteracting recoil felt by the shooter. This includes the sheer weight of the firearm, use of rubber grips, the forward balance, and the use of a compensator. On certain S&W Performance Center models the compensator is replaced with a full muzzle brake.

Like most big caliber handguns the Model 500 is suitable for sport and hunting applications. The high energy of these rounds make it possible to hunt extremely large African game successfully.<3>
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smith_%26_Wesson_Model_500

Of course it only holds five rounds, but if you point it at someone he's almost guaranteed to run. If you do have to shoot - even if you miss you'll scare the shit out of him and then he'll run. If you hit him, one round will do the trick.


Note: Just kidding. :evilgrin:

[TPaine7]

32. I like it.

I obviously approach the issue from a different angle, and arrive at a different point, but I recognize practitioners with different approaches.

[rrneck]

33. Comedy gold!

Fools gold.

[-..__...]

34. Self delete

[DissedByBush]

37. Order a Palm Pistol, designed for arthritics

[krispos42]

39. Get a pistol-caliber carbine.

In, say, .45 auto or .40 S&W. Semi-automatic means you can just keep pulling the trigger, and you can use extended magazines if you want (and live in a unrestricted state).\

The Beretta Storm CX-4 mile lack the Old West feel of John Wayne's typical character, but it works.

[jpak]

40. K&R and bookmarked

:rofl:

:yourock:

[LawnKorn]

41. Sounds a little bit trollish to me

John Wayne was and actor who portrayed fictional stories - poor choice for a hero

WalMart does not sell handguns

Arabs are not out to get you - the middle eastern guy who owns the Quick Mart is too busy working to bother showing up at your door.

Criminals are. A vigilante with a gun is not going to change that. Guns do not make a person 'safe'. A gun is a tool of last resort in a criminal attack. If a person finds themselves in a situation where a gun is necessary for self defense, they have not done enough homework.

If you are buying your first handgun, get a revolver. Get the highest quality one you can afford. If you fire it in single action, it will have a light trigger pull.

If you have arthritis, stay away from automatics. They require operating the slide and possibly one or more safety levers. A self defense situation does not require an 'extended clip' (handguns use magazines, but you knew that right?). Most gunfights follow the rules of threes:

1. Takes place inside of three yards

2. Each person fires three or less shots

3. It is over in three seconds

Happy trails seems to imply gunfights are fun - they are anything but fun.

[Callisto32]

43. Good, constructive post, but I have to take issue with one statement.

"If a person finds themselves in a situation where a gun is necessary for self defense, they have not done enough homework."

I have to disagree with this. Sometimes, trouble comes to you, in your home. Ask me how I know.

[LawnKorn]

53. The best laid schemes o' mice an' men Gang aft agley - Robert Burns

To quote Robert Burns in the poem To A Mouse

The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often askew

I am well aware that all of my dead bolt locks, carefully placed lighting, and exterior camera, will not stop a determined criminal from busting into my house.

Knowing this, I do keep a loaded revolver in the night stand, a loaded handgun for concealed carry where I keep my watch and wallet, and an additional handgun in the designated place of retreat in my house.

One can only hope it never happens, but sometimes it gets down to matters of last resort ...

[Glassunion]

44. Bigoted garbage.

[slackmaster]

47. I mis-read the subject line as "I want a big 'un."

I think there are pills or surgery or something that can help with that problem.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

48. am I the only one smelling

bullshit....

:popcorn:

[OneTenthofOnePercent]

49. I've got just the kind of gun you need, here...

[ileus]

50. You need a colt python, best factory trigger you'll ever see.

[Bold Lib]

54. At the fun show last weekend Python's started at $1,100!!! And that

was a beat up one that must have just been thrown into a glove box and rattled around.

[beevul]

55. I suppose you could do like Bob if it really bothers you that much.

Rumor has it they're even giving away free samples.


:rofl: