Mother shot in murder-suicide filed for divorce, had restraining order

[struggle4progress]

Police say Melissa Charbonneau of Manchester, New Hampshire was shot and killed at the hands of her estranged husband, who later took his own life ...

http://www.necn.com/Boston/New-England/2009/10/23/Mother-shot-in-murdersuicide/1256333747.html

[Hoopla Phil]

1. Proof that restraining orders are useless. She should have gotten a .38 instead.

She'd have a better chance of survival.

[ManiacJoe]

3. Not useless, but offer no physical protection.

Documentation for later court proceedings is often a good thing.

[Hoopla Phil]

6. True, it does help in the defense of the woman when she is forced to shoot him.

[ensho]

2. no to guns - no to bullets

american men need therapy.

[friendly_iconoclast]

4. Where can I get some therapy to help me emulate Kimberly Munley?

Maybe you could ask some women who own guns. TIA!

[PavePusher]

10. And until they get that therapy...

you are O.K. with women dying. 'Cause that's what you are implying.

I don't think so, Scooter.

[GreenStormCloud]

5. In "The Gift of Fear", DeBecker shows that restraining orders...

often are the item that trigger a violently inclinded person into their attacks. A RO gives the ability to prosecute AFTER the RO is violated. It does nothing to protect the person being threatened. An RO also helps establish the level of danger is the person has to defend themselves from the attacker. The woman should have armed herself and been ready when the RO was delivered.

I strongly reccomend to anyone to read The Gift of Fear.

[struggle4progress]

8. It's HER fault? For getting a restraining order?

[eqfan592]

9. No, but she did apparently neglect to take measures to defend herself.

I know some people hate the thought of personal responsibility for our safety, because after all, aren't the POLICE there to make sure we are all safe? (btw, the answer to this question is no. See SC decisions on this matter). But the reality is that she knew for a fact that she was in danger, and she took no active steps to protect herself or her child (the RO is, IMO, a passive measure, and a provocative one at that).

This is still tragic, and they did NOT deserve this, so that is NOT what I'm saying. My heart goes out to them. But she could have done things a bit differently and been more proactive about her and her child's safety.

[GreenStormCloud]

11. Safety and Justice are not the same thing.

An RO does not give safety. It is a promise to the subject that if they come around, then AFTER they have violated the order the judical system may prosecute them. An RO provides no safety at all.

An RO is handy to have if she has to shoot the guy. It helps to establish self-defense.

In theory, I should be able to walk at night in the worse part of town with lots of $100 bills pinned to the outside of my clothes. The wisdom of doing so is questionable.

If the guy was bad enough that she needed an RO, she should have gotten a gun too.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

7. Should have gotten a gun and a restraining order.