I'll Be Just Fine, Says Planet

[GliderGuider]

I'll Be Just Fine, Says Planet

THE planet Earth has dismissed claims it is in danger from global warming, stressing the worst that could happen is the extinction of the human race.

The Earth spoke out after a series of books, television programmes and environmental campaigns urged people to do everything in their power to 'Save the Planet'.

Earth, 4,000,000,000, said last night: "I'll be absolutely fine, seriously. I might get a bit warmer and a bit wetter, but to be honest, that actually sounds quite nice.

"Try living through an ice age. Pardon my French, but it's absolutely fucking freezing."

The planet, based 93 million miles from the Sun, said it was 'sick and tired' of being drawn into arguments about human behaviour.

"Look, I'm just a planet doing its thing, alright? If you want to live on me, that's your business, but I've got important planet stuff to do, okay?

"Try being in elliptical orbit for five minutes, or balancing your gravitational pull with a medium-sized moon. Let me assure you, it's no fucking picnic."

The planet said environmental campaigners should change their slogan from 'Save the Planet' to something more relevant such as 'Save Your Sorry Arse'.

Earth added: "Okay, so there may come a time when, for a variety of reasons, I am no longer able to support pandas, polar bears, and humans, but you know what? Life goes on.

"Who knows, I might end up being a haven for toads."

[SnoopDog]

1. But, I have to admit, Earth states....

I really am not looking forward to the Sun blowing up... I think that's when I'll be Toast.... Oh Well - nobody lives for ever!

[madokie]

2. Well I'm just glad I don't have that armegedon stuff to be looking forward to

I just hope I die first so I won't have to witness it if it does happen, you know, 'cause theres no way my ass is going to come back up out of that hole in the ground.;-)