Florescent Light Bulb Joke

[Willinois]

How many conservative talk radio show hosts does it take to screw in a compact florescent light bulb (CFL)?

Answer: 12

One to bring the ladder.

One to bring the "mission accomplished" banner and hang it up before they do anything.

One to blame Bill Clinton for making the old bulb burn out.

One to blame liberal media bias for reporting that the bulb burnt out three weeks ago.

One to whine that Americans shouldn't have to spend extra money on CFL's because poor families in China aren't using them yet.

One to argue that they shouldn't use a CFL because tiny amounts of mercury might end up in landfills if it isn't properly disposed of after use, and then tell us that we needn't worry about the much larger amounts of mercury emitted by coal power plants on a daily basis.

One to spin conspiracy theories about the menacing "wind turbine-florescent light bulb-sierra club non-industrial complex" that's using global warming to control the world and destroy freedom.

One to call anyone who uses a CFL a smelly dirty commie hippie tree-hugger and then rail against MoveOn.org for lowering the level of polite political discourse because one of their members didn't say hello when they passed eachother on the street.

One to call Al Gore a hypocrite for not being a level 5 vegan and not driving a Flintstones foot-peddled car to all his public events.

One to bring a junk scientist who claims they should do nothing because the bulb never has and never will burn out.

One to remind the other radio hosts that the ones who don't work for a subsidiary of General Electric still get major advertising revenue from utilities and the coal industry so it would be better if the old 60w bulb were replaced with a rotating searchlight that is always on and gets replacement bulbs on a weekly basis whether it needs it or not.

Finally, one to call Dick Cheney to arrange for Halliburton to get a $14 million no-bid government contract to have the job done by illegal immigrants.

cross posted from http://www.thereisaway.us/

[fasttense]

1. Thanks for posting. This brought a much needed laugh to my day. n/t

[Willinois]

4. Thanks...

I wasn't sure if I would be the only one who thinks its funny.

[MindPilot]

2. One to blame the IBEW for driving up the cost of bulbs.

[ThomCat]

3. "Level 5 Vegan"

:rofl:

[lazyriver]

5. That one got me too!

[leebert]

6. OTOH

Sure. And how many LIBERAL talk radio show hosts does it take?

One to tell me that they last longer than they ever have in my house.

One to tell me that the point-source from a smoke stack is a bigger problem than the arc-through emissions from a shoddy bulb in my kid's bedroom.

One to tell me that it's OK they're brought back in paper bags and entrusted to teen clerks to handle in the grocery storeroom.

One to tell me they net-mitigate mercury in non-coal electrical grids.

One to tell me that incandescent bulbs should be banned even though CFLs won't fit in my antique lamps.

One to tell me to forget the whole MBTE fiasco and that it has no bearing on Hg in CFL bulbs.

===

All right. You win. Your list is longer. ;-)

[Nihil]

9. You forgot one ...

... the one who points out that the right-wing troll is talking out of
his arse because he couldn't be bothered to change a single thing in his
life for the sake of the planet.

:P

[cascadiance]

7. One to say they like them better because the bulbs are dimmer!

... and you KNOW how they like and are like dim bulbs!

[skids]

8. One to bring the boner pills. You know which one. n/t