Some satire for the Gold Bugs

[Petrodollar Warfare]

"Financial markets plummet after Japanese schoolboy perfects process to extract gold from seawater"

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s3i1881

News that Tichimori Haberdashi, a 14 year old schoolboy from an outer Tokyo suburb, perfected a process to extract gold from seawater, has caused world-wide panic in financial markets.

Tichimori's father said that he'd already accumulated 35 tonnes of the precious metal in his garden shed and every day there's at least a half tonne more. "If he keeps on going at this rate I'll have to move to a larger premises outside Tokyo".

"Tichimori is only an average student", according to his teacher, "He was playing around with some household chemicals at a local beach during the winter break and purely by chance he hit on a combination which turned seawater into gold".

Mr Haberdashi said, "Yes I know that world financial markets are in turmoil and bankers are throwing themselves under buses and out of tall buildings but this discovery by my son is the break that I've been waiting for all my life and I'm going to enjoy myself before the Yakusa gets their hands on it".

After advice from Alan Greenspan that this chance discovery by young Tichimori is the greatest threat to world peace since the republican party came to office in 2000, Donald Rumsfeld has called up army reserves, the national guard, readied a squadron of nuclear bombers and stationed a guided missile destroyer in the Sea of Japan.

George W. Bush, in an address to the nation said, "If we have to blow Mr Haberdashi's garden shed off the planet, we will, we cannot allow a 14 year old Japanese schoolkid to amass more wealth than the entire US deficit".

***The story as represented above is written as a satire or parody. It is fictitious.**

[CaptainClark23]

1. The irony

of this spoof is this is EXACTLY how the markets would react to large amounts of gold suddenly becoming owned in large quantities by "the public", and it is this fear that (to some people's minds) drives the manipulation of gold pricing worldwide.

OK, had to get one in there for the 'bugs....