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The Brainwashed Woman and the New Dawn
by Dan Brown
"LIBERALS LOSE!," she croaked.
Panic sets in, as the self-loathing centrist, beaten down by 16 years of Reagan, Bush, and Bush the Stunted, repeats the lines she's been taught to say. The conflict in her mind clouding her commitment, clenching her teeth, nearly spitting out the hated words.
"We are the losers. Liberals are evil. That's what the Heritage Foundation, and the Federalist Society teach us in the 'Bush Accountability Schools'."
She picked up a rock, ready to throw it at the man.
"Go away now. You're different from me. You don't understand your place."
He had shown her a chart. On the chart, it clearly showed that progressives dramatically outnumbered the conservatives. It showed that not only had the progressive choice won the last election, but that there were millions of other progressives ready to join together to usher in a new era of progressive politics.
The chart showed, clearly, that there was nothing to fear from hate-mongers, centrist elitists, Bush toadies, and corporate sycophants. The numbers on the chart showed that we were on the cusp of a sea-change in politics - we stood ready to wash the government clean of the trickle-downers, the military adventurists, the corrupt corporatists,
If only there were a candidate to harness that amazing electoral power, just now bubbling to the surface and clearly reflected in the graphs in the chart he had shown her.
That, in fact, was his heresy, he contemplated, looking down at the old woman, shivering in her "made in China" polyester house-dress.
He had crossed the line by showing her that there was a candidate ready to harness the incredible, burgeoning power of the progressive movement.
"We are working together," he offered.
"NO!," she spat through clenched teeth. "The 'Bush Accountability School' teaches that we MUST NOT THINK FOR OURSELVES." Her feeble voice lowered slightly as she fought through cloudy thoughts to find what comes next. "We must...accept the candidate the 'All Knowing Media' provides for us. We must conform."
"We are stronger than they are," he attempted to reassure her.
Her eyes grew wild, reddening, as her mind harkened back to thousands of "Media Therapy" sessions she had had to endure during her long brainwashing. "YOU MUST NOT SAY THAT! WE ARE SEPARATE! WE ARE UNEQUAL! WE MUST BOW DOWN TO THE PREVAILING CONSERVATIVE GOD OF BACKWARDS PROGRESS! IT IS WRITTEN IN THE SECRET LIBRARY!"
As she began to babble hate-speak sound-bites, he took a step backward. The brainwashed could become dangerous at moments like these, when they completely gave up their minds, and erupted into the deeply ingrained self-loathing nonsense slogans taught to them over the years by the powerful minority that had raped the land, its pride, and its people.
He glanced over his shoulder at the 53 million behind him, before turning back to her, narrowing his eyes, and asking, "Are you sure you won't join us? We're going to win."
She seemed to visibly shrink in stature then, as with hollow eyes she looked up at him, and with husky voice lowered replied, "I know my place." She then slunk back into her hovel to await her fate at the hands of the "compassionate conservatives."
"TO VICTORY!" he cried, and the thunder of the 53 million reverberated through the village as he led them to a new dawn.
The old woman grumbled to herself as the noise filled the air and shook the ground.
She pushed her remote to increase the volume on her "made in China" TV.
After all, O'Reilly was on.
Dan Brown
Saint Paul, Minnesota
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