Dearest Mama and Papa,
What can I say? I am empty, bitter, angry and desperately lost with nothing but war, violence, and more war around me. I just don't believe that it was meant to be this cruel and senseless -- that anyone could possibly get near to Persh to take his life. What a God-damn total waste. Why? I was on watch on the bridge when the executive officer came over and asked me if I had a friend called Pershing. I knew immediately it was all over but even when I read the telegram it took moments to sink in. Then I just walked off the bridge and cried -- a pathetic and very empty kind of crying that turned into anger and bitterness.
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Richard PershingI have never felt so void of feeling before -- so numb. My God I feel sorry for Shirley …. I just feel so sorry for the whole thing. I am glad that you wrote Mrs. Pershing -- I know that it will mean a lot to her and it was warming to me to know that you did.
With the loss of Persh something has gone out of me -- he was so much a part of my life at the irreplaceable, incomparable moments of love, concerns, anger and compassion exchanged in Bones that can never be replaced -- never be satisfied in memory form. Persh was an unbelievable spark in all of us and we took for granted that we would always be together -- go crashing through life in our unconquerable fashion as one entity. Now that is gone in one incomprehensible moment. Time will never heal this. It may alleviate but it will never heal. If I do nothing more, and if I convince… the others to do nothing more, it will be to give every effort we can to somehow make this a better world to live in and to end once and for all this willingness to expend ourselves in this stupid, endless self-destruction.
Persh's loss will not -- and I don't know why -- but it will not affect my faith, rather strengthen my convictions -- it's the loss of another friend that teaches you so much it would be trite to even put it on paper. I just can't… the picture of the funeral out of my mind…. There is a lot now to say but I really don't want to write about it -- I just don't have it in me. I will write again in a few days. I hope. Take care and God bless. I am thinking of you all.
Much love,
John
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Of the 15 members of Skull and Bones, an extraordinary bond formed between the four on their way to Vietnam: Kerry; Thorne; Fred Smith, a Kerry flying partner who would later found Federal Express; and, Pershing, Kerry's close friend since age 13.
All four could have used their connections to avoid or at least delay military service. But Pershing set the tone. ``When a war comes along, you go,'' the grandson of the general of the US armies would tell the bonesmen. If this were a movie, Pershing would be the dashing heroic figure, the fun-loving troublemaker who always got the girl and didn't have a care in the world.
``John was very serious, very interested in politics,'' said Dr. George Brown, a fellow bonesman who was close to both. ``Pershing was the opposite. He was the fun lover, get us all into trouble. Pershing was the bon vivant. Fitzgerald would have enjoyed writing about Pershing. He was our hero, because of his charismatic personality. He would run up these incredible bar tabs. He took me to restaurants in New York City where all the women knew him.''
Pershing's dazzling girlfriend from Smith College caught everyone's eye: Kitty Hawks, the smart, witty daughter of the legendary Howard Hawks, who directed ``The Big Sleep'' and ``Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.'' Reached at her home in New York, Kitty Hawks described her time with Pershing and Kerry and the other bonesmen in romantic terms: ``To fall in love with one of them was to fall in love with all of them. It was an amazing time. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about it.''
Hawks added: ``There was an element of sobriety to Johnny, and Dick didn't have that. All of us thought (Kerry) would be an important person in this country somehow. It didn't feel so much as ambition as destiny, that this was bound to happen to him in one way or another.''
With Pershing leading the way, the quartet of bonesmen headed into military training. In early February of 1968, Kerry shipped out to the Gulf of Tonkin aboard the USS Gridley, a guided-missile frigate. By then, the antiwar movement was heating up, and Kerry carried with him the memory of seeing demonstrators in Los Angeles beaten by police.