Engineers. They have their talents and uses.

[MiddleFingerMom]

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[applegrove]

1. LOL! That drinking guy is hilarious.

[Major Nikon]

2. I always wanted to get an engineering degree so I could wear one of those hats

[MiddleFingerMom]

3. One of my first jobs was as a live-in lifeguard for a summer with MY OWN 3-ROOM CABIN!!!

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What a dream job for a 15-year-old.
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It was a private campground way out in the boonies deep in the woods
on a relatively small lake in Michigan -- you had to belong to one of two
credit unions to utilize it.
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So, anyways... I go to the campground for my interview, expecting
this intimidating silver-haired banker and the manager that came to
the gate was this wild-eyed, wild-haired hippie in a Choo-Choo Charlie
engineer cap.
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Needless to say, I NAILED that interview.
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[pokerfan]

5. what engineering is really like

[krispos42]

4. I got this in an email quite a few years ago...

FASCINATION WITH WIDGETS
To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories:
(1) things that need to be fixed, and
(2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to play with them.

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. Normal people don't understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. No engineer looks at a television remote control without wondering what it would take to turn it into a stun gun. No engineer can take a shower without wondering if some sort of Teflon coating would make showering unnecessary. To the engineer, the world is a toy box full of sub-optimized and feature-poor toys.

FASHION AND APPEARANCE
Clothes are the lowest priority for an engineer, assuming the basic thresholds for temperature and decency have been satisfied. If no appendages are freezing or sticking together, and if no genitalia or mammary glands are swinging around in plain view, then the objective of clothing has been met. Anything else is a waste.

DATING AND SOCIAL LIFE
Dating is never easy for engineers. A normal person will employ various indirect and duplicitous methods to create a false impression of attractiveness. Engineers are incapable of placing appearance above function. Fortunately, engineers have an ace in the hole. They are widely recognized as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable, employed, honest, and handy around the house. While it's true that many normal people would prefer not to date an engineer, most normal people harbor an intense desire to mate with them, thus producing engineer-like children who will have high-paying jobs long before losing their virginity. Male engineers reach their peak of sexual attractiveness later than normal men, becoming irresistible erotic dynamos in their mid thirties to late forties. Just look at these examples of sexually irresistible men in technical professions: * Bill Gates. * MacGyver. * Et cetera. Female engineers become irresistible at the age of consent and remain that way until about thirty minutes after their clinical death. Longer if it's a warm day.

HONESTY
Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and human relationships. That's why it's a good idea to keep engineers away from customers, romantic interests, and other people who can't handle the truth. Engineers sometimes bend the truth to avoid work. They say things that sound like lies but technically are not because nobody could be expected to believe them. The complete list of engineer lies is listed below. "I won't change anything without asking you first." "I'll return your hard-to-find cable tomorrow." "I have to have new equipment to do my job." "I'm not jealous of your new computer."

FRUGALITY
Engineers are notoriously frugal. This is not because of cheapness or mean spirit; it is simply because every spending situation is simply a problem in optimization, that is, "How can I escape this situation while retaining the greatest amount of cash?"

POWERS OF CONCENTRATION
If there is one trait that best defines an engineer it is the ability to concentrate on one subject to the complete exclusion of everything else in the environment. This sometimes causes engineers to be pronounced dead prematurely. Some funeral homes in high-tech areas have started checking resumes before processing the bodies. Anybody with a degree in electrical engineering or experience in computer programming is propped up in the lounge for a few days just to see if he or she snaps out of it.

RISK
Engineers hate risk. They try to eliminate it whenever they can. This is understandable, given that when an engineer makes one little mistake the media will treat it like it's a big deal or something. EXAMPLES OF BAD PRESS FOR ENGINEERS: * Hindenberg. * Space Shuttle Challenger. * SPANet(tm) * Hubble space telescope. * Apollo 13. * Titanic. * Ford Pinto. * Corvair. The risk/reward calculation for engineers looks something like this: RISK: Public humiliation and the death of thousands of innocent people. REWARD: A certificate of appreciation in a handsome plastic frame. Being practical people, engineers evaluate this balance of risks and rewards and decide that risk is not a good thing. The best way to avoid risk is by advising that any activity is technically impossible for reasons that are far too complicated to explain. If that approach is not sufficient to halt the project, then the engineer will fall back to a second line of defense: "It's technically possible but it will cost too much."

EGO
Ego-wise, two things are important to engineers: * How smart they are. * How many cool devices they own. The fastest way to get an engineer to solve a problem is to declare that the problem is unsolvable. No engineer can walk away from an unsolvable problem until it's solved. No illness or distraction is sufficient to get the engineer off the case. These types of challenges quickly become personal - a battle between the engineer and the laws of nature. Engineers will go without food and hygiene for days to solve a problem. (Other times just because they forgot.) And when they succeed in solving the problem they will experience an ego rush that is better than sex. Nothing is more threatening to the engineer than the suggestion that somebody has more technical skill. Normal people sometimes use that knowledge as a lever to extract more work from the engineer. When an engineer says that something can't be done (a code phrase that means it's not fun to do), some clever normal people have learned to glance at the engineer with a look of compassion and pity and say something along these lines: "I'll ask Bob to figure it out. He knows how to solve difficult technical problems." At that point it is a good idea for the normal person not to stand between the engineer and the problem. The engineer will set upon the problem like a starved Chihuahua on a pork chop.

February 11, 2000 is the date I copied this into a Word document...

[monmouth]

6. Years ago I worked for Bell Telephone Laboratories, in the pool I

was assigned to the engineers. They were a great group but I noticed during the winter months (Holmdel, NJ is very cold in the winter) they continued to wear bermudas and sandals. Didn't seem to phase them..LOL..

[dixiegrrrrl]

8. Good lord..so THAT is what Mr. Dixie is!

I always thought he was an Aries.

[MissB]

9. Sadly, all this is true.

I was nearly dying of laughter on the fashion section. I occasionally lament my lack of fashion, but then again I truly don't get the point of spending much on clothes. Now and then I'll be doing the laundry and look at a pair of dh's khakis and note once again that there is an iron mark on one leg. I swear I didn't do it. One of his shirts is frayed along the long edge in the front. I merely shrug and launder them. Those things just don't bother us (yeah, we are both engineers).

[rurallib]

13. That captures my son-in-law the engineer almost to a T

[Phentex]

14. I find this accurate for my husband. I will never marry outside of engineering...

Should death do us part and I find myself interested in remarrying, it will only be to an engineer. It's the practical thing to do. :)

[quakerboy]

7. Plus they are damn good at

drawing things on napkins.

[Kali]

11. !

:rofl: :woohoo: :applause:

dated an architecture-engineer double major in college - that guy was always drawing on napkins

[cloudbase]

10. Back in the day,

I had pretty much made up my mind to study engineering in college. In talking with an engineer, I was given what may be the worst advice ever given.

"Buy the best slide rule you can afford, because you'll be using it all your professional life."

I've still got it.

[quakerboy]

12. May be worth some money now

Might be worth looking into. There are people out there amassing slide rule collections. Certain ones can be quite spendy to obtain these days, by what I hear.