Amusingly Horrible Things Strangers Have Said

[On the Road]

Just stumbled upon this and had to share it:

Strangers sometimes say amazing things, so we asked you to anonymously pass along the best you've heard...

1. While I was walking to meet a friend before church, before noon, wearing a dress: “Yeahhh, walk of shame!!!”

23. My college hosts the state's annual Special Olympics each year, so we are encouraged to be helpful with the athletes walking around campus. I was waiting at the corner for the light to change, and the lady next to me looks at me and says, "Excuse me, should you be crossing the street by yourself? Do you need help?" I was not an athlete.

26. “I really feel like I’ve met you before. No? Are you sure? Really? God, you must just have one of those really generic faces that just looks like everyone because it doesn’t look like anything at all, you know?”

http://thehairpin.com/2011/11/amusingly-horrible-things-strangers-have-said

Closest thing I had like that was buying some bourbon for a BBQ marinade. I was on prescription medicine and wasn't drinking at the time, so I ended up just asking the clerk for a fifth of Jack Daniels. As he gave it me, he grinned at me and said "THAT oughta get you there!" (Yeah, OK, buddy.)

[rug]

1. I was smoking a cigarette outside a hotel in DC and a homeless man asked for a cigarette.

After he took a drag he thanked me, looked me over and said they were giving out free clothes on K Street.

I said thanks.

[On the Road]

7. I Had a Two-Hour Layover at the Amsterdam Train Station

Being new to the city, I wandered around the surrounding coffee shop areas, completely sober but with a sinus infection and serious jet lag. An English guy came up to me and asked for a light. He then looked at me with great concern, put his hand on my shoulder, and tenderly said "Watch yourself, man."

Thousands of stoners and drunks milling around, and *I'm* the one who looked the worst. Go figure.

[rug]

10. Lol. It's hard not to appreciate his concern.

Mistake or not, it's good to have somebody care.

[MrsBrady]

36. I'd rather have a hang over

than a sinus infection.

nothing worse. ;)

[struggle4progress]

15. I was staying at a hotel in San Francisco and went out one night for a walk. When I came back,

the doorman blocked the door and asked, Do you want to use the bathroom?

I said, No, I'm staying here. Would you like to see my keycard?

[rug]

16. Man, I hate when that happens.

[struggle4progress]

17. i really didn't care: i'd set out to stroll the streets without looking like a lost out-of-towner

with money in my pocket, and as far as i could tell i'd succeeded

:D

[Brickbat]

2. I was behind a guy at the grocery store once and when the checker was done ringing up his items she

accidentally started on mine. We set her straight and then I said, totally joking, "What, you don't want to pay for my groceries too?" The guy turned and looked at me and said, "Nope, sorry -- you're not cute enough."

[Duer 157099]

3. Ouch! LOL

But seriously, what kind of person can just say something like that to a total stranger who is just being friendly? I hope he felt like shit later, although he probably never gave it a second thought.

[Brickbat]

5. Having seen him around town since, I do think he's a little off in the head. At the time, I was

like, "WTF?" and he was very serious and said, "I don't want to offend you or anything. It's nothing personal. But you're just not cute enough for me to pay for your groceries."

[Duer 157099]

9. Sounds like Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory

Aspergers.... ?

[frogmarch]

4. at the funeral of

one of my relatives' young daughter, I heard a woman say to another: "What a cute little casket."

[REP]

6. At my father's funeral, to me, his daughter - "Why are you sitting with his family?"

[frogmarch]

8. OMG

that is awful!

[baldguy]

19. When my aunt (mother's sister) died, the funeral was scheduled for late afternoon.

The family decided to get together beforehand and go out for lunch. The hostess said, "Oh! You're all dressed up so nice! Is someone getting married?" My father's mother - a dour 80-something German grandmother - set her straight.

[geardaddy]

50. Gah!

That made me laugh out loud.

:rofl:

[idiotgardener]

11. Friend of a friend visiting my home, petting my dog and learning that the other one had just passed

away...

"Well, one dog is enough anyway, right?"

[Evergreen Emerald]

27. I was 8 months pregnant in a department store when a woman

said very loudly as we stood in the elevator: "you are so huge, you are so huge are you having twins?"

[MiddleFingerMom]

12. Not said, but done... and it was ME! My older brother (my hero) died unexpectedly at the age of 33.

.
.
.
We had a small family service at the little chapel near where he lived.
We were all DEVASTATED by his passing.
.
.
.
My younger brother was holding the door for everyone and looked like
he was unsuccessfully battling back another crying spell.
.
.
.
I was last and as I passed him, I slipped something into his hand. It
made me feel really good when I heard him chuckle... when he looked
and realized that I had tipped him a nickel.
.
.
.

[tainted_chimp]

42. Haha! Awesome!

Wish I had a big brother like you MFM.

[pa28]

58. Can I add to the weird funeral story list?

My cousin joined the 27 club and passed away at that age from the usual causes.

He had an open casket service and one of his buddies had a really strange reaction during the viewing but nobody really knew what it meant.

As it turned out Nick, my cousin, had borrowed the Armani suit he was wearing for the open casket service for an audition a couple of months before from this friend and never returned it.

My aunt thought Nick looked at his best in this particular suit and thought he should be buried that way. Nobody, of course, had told her the suit belonged to somebody else and as far as I know a she still does not know the truth.

Yeah, it sounds like BS or an urban legend but this is 100% true and I witnessed the whole thing. The only funny side of a sad story.

[whistler162]

65. When my youngest brother asked what I had in my car trunk

after my fathers death I had to tell him truthfully, Dad.

Well his cremains we where taking back for later burial.

[struggle4progress]

13. I was walking down the street, minding my own business, around 1975, and a woman,

about my age, who I'd never seen before, walked into my path, stopped in front on me, and screamed with rage in my face, I'd never have sex with you!

I had no clue who she was, and the possibilities for further pleasant conversation seemed somewhat limited

So I just stepped around her and went on my way, without trying to provide any witty retort like Oh, OK

I don't even remember anything about how she looked: I just remember that she apparently flew into a snit when she saw me and decided immediately she needed to explain to me that I wasn't going to be seeing a lot of her

My guess at the time was that she rather disliked hippies

To my knowledge I never saw her again

[rug]

20. At least it was a complete stranger.

[WildEyedLiberal]

22. "Oh, OK"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[KamaAina]

14. Not to me, but to a dear friend

who uses a wheelchair and is of short stature:

She was riding down an elevator with this strange guy. When they finally got to the ground floor, he blurted out:

"I wouldn't marry you! You're handicapped!"

First words he'd said to her. Clearly he'd been struggling with this for thirty floors or so. :eyes:

(did I mention she's fine enough to stop a digital clock? :loveya: )

[On the Road]

21. A Former Professor of Mine Had a Degenerative Spinal Condition

At one point he taught Comp Lit in a small town in Iowa. As he was waiting in the barbershop one morning with a cane, a farmer walked right in, sized him up, and said right to his face: "I SEE YOU'RE CRIPPLED!" I guess people are just more direct in that kind of environment.

[krispos42]

18. I was at a shiva today

Mom's coworker's mother-in-law died last week. So of course there are relatives and friends coming in and out while we're there, and I think we 4 were the only non-Jews there at the time.

So my Mom's coworker introduced my Mom to a relatives (an aunt, I think), and the aunt greets her in return, then looks at me with a smile on her face and asks "And is that your husband?".


*sigh*


She's 26 years older than me!

[davsand]

23. "My niece is a harelip just like you. SHE actually got married and had kids."

I think maybe he was trying to establish some type of business rapport with me even if it was poorly done. I said at the time that I figured he probably had never been let out on his own before.

I explained to him that, yes, it IS possible for people with a birth defect to live a happy life.

There was frost in the air...





Laura

[whistler162]

66. Heck I hear they can even become actors!

[PotatoChip]

24. Not exactly 'horrible' but funny-

I was ordering a half veggie/half plain pizza.

The woman taking the order asks "What side?"
"Excuse me?" I say, bewildered.
Acting a bit irritated she replies, "On what side do you want the veggies?"

I just look at her, thinking it a joke, but no- she was serious and clearly becoming impatient w/me -- Until suddenly her demeanor changes, as if the light bulb in her head had suddenly switched on.

She laughs, then apologizes telling me, "I'm new here. This is my first day and I'm a bit nervous"

Poor thing. She was clearly embarrassed, especially since a couple of people in line behind me had heard the whole conversation. :-)

[rurallib]

28. Could I have them on the top half?

[PotatoChip]

31. Ha! That's good- and should've been

my response had I thought of it. Do'h! It probably would've lightened the mood without sounding condescending or rude- As opposed to saying something more snarky like "the left side", your's comes out sounding as if I'm laughing with her and not at her. Important distinction there. :-)

As it turned out, I said nothing. Handling awkward moments is definitely not one of my strengths. But I did my best to smooth it over for her. The poor young woman seemed unduly flustered and embarrassed once she realized.

[whistler162]

67. Or tell her the left side and when it is delivered

complain that the veggies are on the right side.

[raccoon]

25. Once I was walking on a city sidewalk and a man passing by said, "Pick 'em up, Pick 'em up!"

I made no response. Maybe he was off his meds?

[zanana1]

26. Generic face!

That must've really hurt! LOL!

[Xithras]

29. Sitting with my wife in a bar about 10 years ago, when she got up to use the ladies room...

...the guy sitting next to me asked, "Hey, before you leave, can I get her number?"

Thinking that he was wanting to flirt with her, I grinned and said, "Sorry man, she's married."

He looked at me and said, "Oh, sorry, I wasn't looking for a date. I thought she was a hooker. No offense."

It took all my self control to keep my fist from his jaw. She was dressed very elegantly that night too, so I just figure that he was a stupid, drunk asshole.

[kayakjohnny]

30. Holy crap! Most bizarre answer on this thread.

Damn.

Who would say that on the chance that he could be so effin' wrong?

Sheeesh, hopefully he got his ass handed to him at some point for that kind of crap.

[Xithras]

34. Meh. It was a crappy bar.

Just up the street from a strip joint, in an area where there WERE hookers (truthfully, there are hookers in most parts of L.A. around the motels/hotels). We were on vacation, were looking for a local bar to have some fun in, and found one. My wife was the hottest woman in the place, so it's hard to blame the guy for hoping. Still, it took a lot of restraint (and the realization that I didn't want to spend half my vacation weekend in a Los Angeles jail cell) to keep from busting his jaw.

FWIW, my wife laughed her ass off when I told her. No harm, no foul.

[MorningGlow]

32. Creepiest

I was eight months pregnant and looked like a beached whale. I was waddling into our local supermarket when an old guy came out. He looked me up and down and said, "Carrying a little extra there, huh?" I said yep, and he said, "Looks good."

:scared: :rofl:

[pink-o]

33. I was coming back from running Lake Merced last year..

Still in athletic clothes, I stopped at the gas station and was filling up when I hear this guy behind me start catcalling and whistling at me. I turned to face him with an amused, jaded look on my face, and the guy almost swallowed his tongue. His eyes grew huge, and he covered his mouth, then said: "Oh, I'm so sorry, Ma'am! I didn't realize!"

(I'm almost 57, and I found it hilarious, actually.)

[Silver Swan]

35. About forty years ago

I was walking in downtown Chicago when a stranger exclaimed, "You look terrible!" Why he cared, I do not know.

Another time, I was walking along, and stopped to get a newspaper from a box.
A man walking behind be yelled, "Why don't you watch where you're going?" Like I should be looking for slow moving idiots behind me....

[Odin2005]

37. A fundy woman once told me that autistic people don't have a soul.

:grr:

[PotatoChip]

38. Wow. You 'win' this thread.

Though- I wouldn't wish that sort of mean-spirited unkindness on anyone. :-( Keep in mind that it is her loss for not recognizing the TONS of amazing things that people on the Autism/Aspberger's spectrum have contributed to our society.

My nephew was diagnosed as having Autism at the age of 3. He's now in college, and doing very well. He also has a beautiful girlfriend who loves everything about him, including the way his brilliant mind works.

I hope you will not allow people to bring you down just for being different Odin. Differences are good things.

Thank you for posting here and raising awareness!!!

[Odin2005]

49. Thanks!

:hi:

[freshwest]

59. A seventh day adventist told me my kid was demon possessed because he had seizures. Fun world, huh?

[SCantiGOP]

39. What's the frequency, Kenneth? n/t

[Throd]

40. A photographer told me "I didn't think that you would have such beautiful daughters"

[bikebloke]

41. Woman in the grocery store yelled at a man she bumped into,

"Can't you see!" The man, carrying a white cane, was blind.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

43. I was in a cute little breakfast place in "the gayborhood" with a new 'friend' of mine...

You know, one of those friends you met the night before...

Anyway...

I made a remark to our cute sassy little waiter that he "looked familiar". The waiter held up his hands around his mouth (like you might do to yell) and said "picture me with plywood around my mouth."

My new 'friend' and I almost fell out of our chairs with laughter. I still occasionally use that one.

[begin_within]

44. While leaving a concert,

not a rock concert or anything, just one of those "Pops" symphony concerts with a lot of middle-aged people in attendance, the twenty-something aged people walking next to us started talking to me and asking me if I wanted to appear in some sort of porn production they were filming. I didn't understand them at first, and even when I did catch on to what they were asking, I pretended that I still didn't understand. I finally just said, "I don't know what you're talking about" and walked in a different direction. I never knew if they were kidding or serious about it. It just felt really weird in any case.

Also, once at a mailbox an older woman said to me, "Get your head shaved." I have no idea why she said that.

And, I just remembered a bizarre incident in a grocery store that I go to all the time. There was a Mexican lady that must have been at least 75, shopping by herself, and as I passed her she started cursing at me in Spanish. Not like swear words, more like cursing at a Devil or something. Like she was trying to cast an evil spell on me or something. Her eyes were filled with hate. It was shocking. I just said, "Excuse me" as I passed her, and she kept talking, but I just kept going. I thought it was all over with. But later when I got in the checkout line, she was right ahead of me in line, and when she noticed I was behind her, she started it again. That time it really scared me. So I got out of the line and shopped a little more, though I put nothing more in the cart, I just waited for her to be out of the store before I got in the line again. She really scared me and I have no idea why she acted that way to me.

[ellisonz]

60. Dude (I presume), do you have a pony-tail?

:shrug:

[pacalo]

63. That last one has a Stephen King quality to it!

The first story made me .

[Shampoobra]

45. When I was a teenager I was parking my car at a business where I was about to apply for a job

A cowboy in his twenties was stuck in the mud near the building.

He hopped out of his truck and, as I was walking past him, yelled at me: "Grab a shovel!"

The quizzical look on my face caused him to repeat his order, louder and angrily.

"I don't work here," I told him.

"I didn't ask if you worked here! I said grab a shovel!" he yelled.

I was pretty timid as a teenager, but that was beyond my limit. I just chuckled and kept walking.

(To make the whole experience even stranger, when I got inside and spoke to the manager about applying for a job, he said they were not hiring and was very curious as to how "this rumor" got started. He said I was about the twentieth person that morning to come in and ask for a job application.)

[Skittles]

46. that is one SPOOKY DAY!

so just out of curiosity, what led you to think they were hiring?

[Shampoobra]

48. I'd been at one of those mandadory unemployment compensation check-ins

The caseworker said he'd received a tip and advised me to hurry over there

[ellisonz]

61. Some caseworker...

Welcome to DU!

:donut:

[PassingFair]

47. "You ACTUALLY look GOOD!"

-my college-age daughter.

On my way out to work yesterday.

:eyes:

[Divameow77]

51. When I was very pregnant I used to go for walks

Once on a busy street a truck of guys driving up behind me whistled and hollered at me. When they pulled up alongside me and saw my big belly they yelled "Nevermind" and took off.

I still looked good from behind :)

[mwdem]

52. Out to lunch with my then 27 year old son..

We were leaving the restaurant when two young women came in with their babies in strollers. As we were holding the door for them, one of them asked (apparently without looking up) "When are you due?" I just said, "27 years ago!" and laughed. They were so embarrassed. ....I'm not even that big..

[BlueIris]

53. An internet friend of mine was once told she looked exactly like Monica Lewinsky.

By a homeless gentleman who then asked her for, a...well, special favor.

Nice, eh?

[madinmaryland]

54. I think the "homeless" gentlemen was Dick Morris!!

[LeftishBrit]

55. The most disconcerting...

was when I was a young woman in my early 20s, and a boy of about 10 came up to me in the street and said, 'Would you like to have sex with me?' After my firm 'No!', he went back to his group of friends, so I think it was probably a dare and didn't reflect something worse in his background. But still...

A funnier story: I am not very good visually, and get nervous when I'm walking and people drive/ park on the pavement near me - which used to happen more often; I think rules have tightened up in recent years. On one occasion, someone moved their car onto the pavement near me when parking, and I jumped. It was on a Sunday, near the local Catholic church, which the driver was probably about to attend. An elderly man witnessed this, misinterpreted my nervousness, and started to give me a lecture about why I should not be afraid of Catholics!

[CBHagman]

64. ",,,lecture on why I should not be afraid of Catholics."

:rofl:

This thread is the best.

[AmyDeLune]

56. My late Grandmother,

born long before the age of political correctness (and really not a very nice person, I'm sorry to say) was struggling to remember the name of the TV sitcom "Webster". Unable to remember it, she blurted out "You know! That one with the little n****r kid in it!" My aunt looked like she wanted to crawl under the table...

On another occasion when I was 10 years old, she was going on about this knitting machine she'd bought. I asked her how much something like that cost to which she replied "more than you'll ever be able to afford".

[Art_from_Ark]

57. No one in their right mind would ever mistake me for a woman, but

At the Tokyo/Narita airport one time, I and some European guy (who, in retrospect, looked a lot like the Norwegian mass murderer) arrived at some narrow doorway at the same time. The European guy stopped, got a shit-eating grin on his face, bowed, and said as he gestured to me, "Ladies first!"

I replied, "OK, after you, ma'am."

[freshwest]

62. Well I was mistaken for a man one time while hitching a ride with my hubby. We both were skinny and

Wearing bluejeans, had the long hair, wore sneakers, etc. when we were in college. We got picked up by a couple of young women and got in the back seat and they realized that I was woman and they sure were pissed off. They let us off in a bad area in a city on the way to where we were going. We talked about it and decided perhaps they were looking to pick up a couple of hippie dudes for dates and seeing we were a couple was disappointing.

[av8rdave]

68. Many years ago, I was on an airline trip, overnighting in Portland

At the time, we stayed at the Benson - a VERY nice hotel. (My airline got a really good contract rate there.)

As I was riding the elevator to the lobby for pickup (in uniform, of course), a nicely dressed 50 something couple got on. As the elevator continued down, the lady looked me up and down, then said, "No wonder our airline tickets are so expensive, with them letting people like YOU stay in places like THIS."

It took me a couple more floors to formulate a response, but at last I said, "I can guarantee you that my company paid a lot less for my room than you did for yours."

Best I could do on the fly.

Edited because of bizarre erre message when I tried to post

[madmom]

69. In 1984 my hubby was in a terrible motorcycle accident which landed him in the

hospital. Coincidentally his dad was in the same hospital but being transferred to another hospital for cancer treatment.His dad was in very bad shape. Before they transferred him they brought him to my husband's room (husband was bed-ridden) so they could talk and say good-bye.After they left my husband was crying because he realized that was probably the last time he would see his dad. Right after that, the "doctor" came in and saw the tears and started severely chastising him because he thought he was crying over "a few broken bones". The doctor was a real ass and the nurse set him straight immediately, he just harrumphed and left. Incidentally it WAS the last time he saw his dad alive, he died about a week later in the other hospital.

[LibDemAlways]

70. I was picking up a few grocery items and had a couple of things in my

cart that the guy in back of me in the check-out line apparently didn't like. The entire time I was checking out he was passing snide comments like "You could die from that." Real asshole.

Another time I was in a restaurant and the waiter accidentally put a sandwich in front of me meant for a woman at the next table. I didn't touch the plate, just told him it wasn't mine. He immediately removed it and attempted to deliver it to the woman who had ordered it. She made a huge stink, loudly proclaimed, "I'm not eating that. She (pointing at me) tainted it." The waiter and I were both mortified. It was so incredibly awkward, and ruined the entire dining experience for me. Some people definitely have some loose screws.

[Quantess]

71. "Do you have cancer?"

Years ago my friend was asked that, on a bus. She was a skinny, naturally blonde 20 year old who had let her dyed black hair grow out.