I've become a sitcom dad

[NightWatcher]

Every decision I make is somehow wrong and the degree to which I am wrong is pointed out to me on a daily basis.

It's a wonder that I even survived to this stage of my life without coming to a tragic end for setting the dishwasher on the wrong setting, placing the bowls in said dishwasher facing the wrong direction, using the dishsoap to wash my hands, forgetting a dryer sheet, putting the dryer on permanent press when the clothes called for tumble dry medium....

...and the most heinous sin that any man, husband, or father can commit

[HopeHoops]

1. Don't forget putting the forks in the dishwasher with the tines up, or down, whichever is wrong.

[NightWatcher]

2. I've resigned myself to eating out of a bowl in the yard with the cats from now on

it's just easier that way

[HopeHoops]

3. Just make sure you eat out of the right side of the bowl, or maybe the left - whichever is wong.

[seabeyond]

5. when i was about 8, i stood on a chair to empty the dishwasher. i fell. a steak knife

was sticking out of my shin when i stood up.

steak knifes MUST go down. the only way. or i get the heebygeebies....

[HopeHoops]

6. We hand-wash sharp knives and all table/butter knives go point down anyway (same with forks & spoons

It's just safer that way.

[seabeyond]

4. don't forget to close the garage door.

last night i was driving my husband to pick up sons car at school. i pull out of the garage, stop to put on seatbelt and getting ready to back out of driveway as hubby tells me

dont forget to close the garage door.

wtf... i laugh as my hand was reaching up to hit the button. really? all these thousands of times i was able to back out of garage AND close the garage door, i really need to be told to do it this time?

we laughed. but he is really bad about this. mostly, i ignore and smile. when we are on a trip, it truly is amazing how i make it thru my day for the last handful of decades without my hubby telling me how to do it.

patience.

and there is ONLY ONE way to fill a dishwasher and fold clothes.

[HopeHoops]

7. Only One way? What, "the wrong way"?

:rofl:

The kids do most of that now, but I've already lost one to college and the middle one is thinking about moving in with some friends (if she can find a fucking job, that is). There's only so much that's fair to push off on the youngest, but at least they've learned basic survival skills and cooking techniques.

[seabeyond]

8. packing, folding clothes and dishwashers. one way? my way. lol

those are the only things i obsess about. no one does the folding, dishwasher and packing, so it works out. it is ok anyway, cause there are things hubby does and he likes doing his way. go at it haus. we compliment each other well. what i really dont like, he doesnt mind. and what i want to do, he doesnt care. so when we clean together, it falls into place, perfectly. a single friend watches us and amazed how we work together. i had never thought of it until she said something.

we are both pretty laid back though. so most things are not big deals for either of us.

[HopeHoops]

9. Yeah, but that kind of leaves you stuck with all the packing, clothes, and the dishwasher.

That sucks.

[seabeyond]

11. except i dont mind. kinda how i want it. if he dares to put a dish in, we laugh before

he shuts the door. he knows i will be fixing it.

but i refuse to ever learn how to make chinese food. it is all his, baby.

[Swede]

10. This thread needs some laughter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KeNa3YjG5eU&feature=related

[davsand]

12. He's not adjusting his boy parts or clutching the remote--clearly he's a work of fiction.

That pic is clearly one of a fictional father.




Laura

[HappyMe]

13. I must be the mellowest chickie

on earth. Stuff like that doesn't bother me.

[XemaSab]

14. What's wrong with using dish soap as hand soap?

:shrug:

[NightWatcher]

15. there's nothing "wrong". It's just not "the way"

[HappyMe]

16. I think you need to put in

a request for a manual called "The Way".

[seabeyond]

17. that could be a cute christmas present. if she has a sense of humor. nt

[surrealAmerican]

19. Yeah, we don't even buy "hand soap" any more.

I put "dish soap" in the hand soap dispensers. It's very similar, and a whole lot cheaper.

[trof]

18. I can't abide toilet paper 'under'.

It HAS to be 'over'.

[Skittles]

20. YOU WANT I SHOULD KICK YOUR SITCOM-ISH ASS, NW?

LEMME AT YOU!!!

[Kali]

21. my advice

for your SO.

Don't look when he is doing stuff like this. REALLY. at least he is doing it, and the world won't end because the guy is a moran and can't load a dishwasher right. Trust me. I have to leave the kitchen and sometimes even the house when the husband is doing housework. I CAN'T STAND the way he loads the dishwasher or makes spaghetti sauce. But you know what? The dishes get done and at least there is a clean glass or fork when I need it. The kids don't care that he makes the sauce completely wrong and neither does he. Get where I am headed with this? Don't discourage the help. When it is your turn, do the dishes correctly. Bitch out loud when he is out of the house. But try to walk away when he is helping "wrongly" - it really doesn't matter and at least something is getting done that you don't have to do!

Its freaking housework it all has to be done again too soon anyway, you can fix it next time - or you can gradually let go and just let him do it his way. Again - trust me, his way IS to your advantage. Smile and say thankyou.

But never let him wash your clothes!

[seabeyond]

22. But never let him wash your clothes!

i am all into your lecture that sounds an awful lot like what i read in parenting books for my kids.... then i got to your bottom sentence

lmao

cute