Just did something horribly impulsive and I can't take it back

[MorningGlow]

Somebody talk me down!

Damned Facebook anyway. I found a group there--former employees of one of my favorite places to work, although it was absolutely fraught with drama from the first day to the last of the place's entire existence (it's gone now). I really enjoyed reading everybody's reminiscences, and I wanted to join the group, but there were people in it who eventually became enemies...and an ex-boyfriend (okay two)...so I hesitated. But at the top of the page there was a button that said "Ask to Join Group". I thought I'd be able to send a message, see who the moderator was (if s/he was still a friend)--SOME sort of stopgap. But when I clicked it THE REQUEST WENT THROUGH. Dammit! :banghead:

I am totally mortified now. If I get accepted I'll crawl under a rock and die. If I DON'T get accepted I'll crawl under a rock and die.

Somebody hold me. :(

[siligut]

1. Oh, MorningGlow

:hug: Damn the way things work. OK, first off . . . it is only FB, put it into perspective. Next, time has past, people tend to let grievances fade, count on people remembering you for your good qualities and the fun you had. I don't think men are the same as women, when it comes to grudges, they are more reasonable, at least the ones I have known. Your asking to join is a sign of goodwill, really, that is how I see it and I am sure, that is how they will see it. On the brightest side, you will connect with people who you still consider friends and you can relive good memories. Relax. :hug:

[MorningGlow]

2. In the immortal words of Carrie Fisher in When Harry Met Sally

"You're right, you're right--I know you're right." :hug:

When I get all insecure (and the whole dynamic of this former place made me insecure), I tend to be paranoid/fear the worst, instead of thinking the better of my fellow peeps. You're right--they just might be pleased to hear from me. I sure hope so!

Thanks, Silligut. :hi:

[siligut]

3. Come back and let us know how it goes

And don't be hard on yourself, it didn't work the way you had expected. You wanted to ease in, but the FB software pushed you in headfirst. :hi:

[MorningGlow]

4. I will

Good point about being pushed in--yikers. So much for pussy-footing around, eh? :hi:

[get the red out]

5. If you don't get accepted

It's just because THEY have issues.

[MorningGlow]

6. I'll try to remember that

I was a bit of a pariah to some, by the time I finally left. It's hard to shift that (in my own mind, that is). :hug:

[get the red out]

24. I've played that role!!!

I've done quite a bit of pariah work myself ;)

[MorningGlow]

25. Heh

Pretty easy work to get, too, innit? Just stick one toe out of line and BAM. :)

[Howler]

7. I bet you'll get Accepted MorningGlow.

And that they all will be glad to hear from you.
You and this group already have things in common and it will be really nice for you all to reconnect and catch up on whats going on in each others lives.Don't sweat it.:)

[MorningGlow]

11. I hope you're right!

I'm willing to acknowledge that more than 15 years have passed and we shouldn't let who we were them affect who we are and what we do now, but I don't know how everyone else feels about it. :)

[bigwillq]

8. Don't let this bother you.

It's just a silly group on a silly website. (I love Facebook, btw, but it is silly). Nothing to take too seriously.

[MorningGlow]

12. Silly indeed!

Must keep perspective. Perhaps a visit to GD will do the trick. :hi:

[I Have A Dream]

9. Well, I'm sure that you'll be accepted. Who could not love you?

Seriously.

Facebook really does need some work on its user interface. I say that as someone who does that type of programming for a living. Sorry that you got burned by it; I've hesitated to do some things on Facebook myself because I'm not sure what will happen. (Even if it worked a certain way before doesn't mean that it will work that way the next time.)

Oh, and as you know, everything happens for a reason. It will be interesting to see what comes of it...

:hug:

[MorningGlow]

13. Awww...

:hug:

Well, yanno, I was young and stupid back then--burned some bridges and other stuff the Me Now would never do. But they don't know that. And yeah, if everything happens for a reason, and I got shoved into the group spotlight like that, it WILL be interesting to see what comes of it. I will try to look on the bright side for that!

The FB interface is teh evil, that's for sure. I'm sorry that it rules the social media world at the moment, because although the premise is good, the execution sucks. I really hope something else comes along to unseat it soon. And something will, sooner or later *coughMyspacecough*...

[OriginalGeek]

10. I went all 4 years of high school to an independent, fundamentalist, Baptist run school

I graduated in 1981. At the time I thought I was a christian but I have been an atheist for most of the 30 years since then. In the last couple years I have found a FB group for the school and joined it wondering how folks would react. And I have to say it was a tiny bit more positive than I figured it would be. I find it's a lot more fun to converse with some of these people openly now than it was to just go along to get along back then.

Of course, there are a few who don't care to have any correspondence with me but mostly it's just good fun rehashing old times and reminiscing.

I think the key for me is that I no longer care if I have their acceptance. I don't need them to like me although I do value their contribution to making me what I am today.

Not to mention that it's a little bit fun to tweak them whenever one of their sacred right wing crazy leaders does something awful. :evilgrin:

[MorningGlow]

14. You bring up a good point

I went to a Catholic girls high school, and even back then I was seriously questioning the Catholic faith. I definitely did not fit in...and yet now I have more than a couple dozen FB friends from high school, many of whom were definitely NOT my friends IRL back then. But now all the rough edges have been smoothed away and we're all cool with one another. Well, except for the tightly wound rabid Republican, but her views get shouted down quite often--by (gasp) all those good Catholic girls?! :evilgrin:

Keep tweakin' 'em, OG (and welcome to DU!) :toast:

[OriginalGeek]

29. Thanky very kindly. :-)

ANd I will tweak til my dying breath. And then probably leave a written note for one last tweak.

[FirstLight]

15. You'll live...I promise

that's what I tell my kids when they freak out ;)

Breathe, this is an opportunity to look at your own feelings of self worth from then to now... own your experience and perspective. You'll find that you are fine... I know! :hug:

[MorningGlow]

17. Funny how so many of these people

live nearby, but I have only ever run into one of them recently (he lives in my village and owns a nursery, so I'm happy to buy my plants from him). My point (and I do have one in here somewhere) is that it doesn't really matter what they think of me now. But yeah, it's more about what *I* think of myself now... :hug:

[Skittles]

16. you care WAY too much about facebook garbage

try real life garbage instead

[MorningGlow]

18. Yes. Yes, I do.

Thing is, this was my real life garbage for a long time. I'm just trying to wrap my head around how I just let it back into my life to possibly become my present-day real life garbage. We shall see.

[Skittles]

19. the facebook angst I hear is just too much

people, at the end of your life you'll be able to count on one hand who your true friends were

[MorningGlow]

20. I guess FB just makes it easier and quicker to find out! n/t

[ThomThom]

21. It's facebook don't waste your time

I walked away some time back.

[MorningGlow]

26. It's not about Facebook really--that just happens to be the medium

Haven't we all fretted about reconnecting with ex-friend-groups at one time or another? :shrug:

[av8rdave]

22. It's only Facebook

I think less and less of it every time I see it. I've had everything from drama between friends I didn't want to see to having a STBE using it as a weapon.

I love corresponding with friends there, but there isn't anything else about it I like.

[MorningGlow]

27. Sorry you experienced all that

I actually like Facebook--it's kept me informed of milestones in family members' lives (especially those in other parts of the country) and I've enjoyed reconnecting with a lot of classmates and stuff. This just happens to be a tetch part of my past, and I only wish I had had fairer warning before my presence was announced to the group.

[av8rdave]

32. Most of my FB experience has been good

But things like your (and my) situations can throw you. Sorry it went the way it did.

[elleng]

23. Holding you! I'm sure they'll be happy to hear from you!

Just looked for my old office; couldn't find it. Just as well!!!
:hi:

[MorningGlow]

28. Thank you! Aaaahhhhh hugs--nothing like 'em

Funny thing--I had looked for a group for this workplace before, but there wasn't one. Now there is (it was created recently), and I came across it by accident. Whether it's a happy accident or a train wreck remains to be seen.
:rofl:

[eilen]

30. It's only the internet honey! nt

[Demoiselle]

31. You were NOT horribly impulsive!!!!

You were just open and curious, and Facebook snapped you up way too soon.
I am entirely sympathetic to your worries...I got a bunch of high school reunion emails this summer, and, since high school was 90 percent awful for me, socially, anyway, I decided NOT to go to the reunion, but not before I snooped with fascination into all the messages sent by various classmates....most of whom, by the way, I could hardly remember!
I regret not getting involved now, because it might have put some demons to rest...
But my point is that your response is a lot braver than mine was.
Hey, if "They" don't let you in, FUCK 'EM!!!!! Don't you dare even THINK of crawling under a rock!!!

[MorningGlow]

33. Thanks, Demoiselle

I do believe "fuck 'em" is the correct response! :)

I took a peek at the "info" page for the group and saw that one of my exes is one of the two admins. Yeahhhh I don't think I'm going to get approval anytime soon!
:rofl:

[southerncrone]

34. It's all going to be alright.

Sense you are reading too much into this group.
Is it life or death? No.
Don't worry about it, you'll just ATTRACT negative energy to yourself.
Relax. :)