What an awful week - My mom died yesterday, took her off the tubes/machines

[Hawaii Hiker]

I learned this last week that life is so unpredictable and nothing is guaranteed....Last Sat. while i was w/my mom, she started coughing blood, then right before EMS came, it looked like she was almost having a seizure, combined with frightening gurgling noises she was making...EMS came and whisked her away, very little treatment was done at the house....I met them at hospital which was about 20 minutes away....When i got there, was moved to one of those consultation rooms where several MD's came in along with a social worker i think....They said as soon as medics arrived in ER, my mom lost a pulse....After 14 minutes of CPR she was revived....Her outlook was grim after that....

In addition to severe brain damage after the arrest, she had significant lung issues (think it was a pulmonary embolism and/or collapsed lung that started the coughing of the blood), and she also had what i think the one MD called mucus plugs in her lungs that were a major issue to....While in ICU, after they inserted a some sort of line in her finger, it caused her one finger to turn blue and it would have needed amputated if she survived....(normally when someone's finger turns like that think they can give blood thinners but they said she would have bled profusely if they did that)...And she had 2 broken ribs after the CPR....When the final report came back from the ECG, it was the worst news, the brain damage was profound, it would have been a miracle if she opened her eyes again, let alone walk, talk, eat.....So yesterday i told the MD i wanted to remove her from the machines keeping her alive and let her go peacefully...Around 5pm. the tubes were taken out, and at 5:30pm. she died peacefully....I was able to spend entire day with her and got to say goodbye & thanked her for being a wonderful mom....She was 78...Though this loss will be tough on me, at least her pain and suffering are over...My dad died when he was 48, and i have no siblings, and not a close family, so it was only me with her yesterday (though my best friend from Chicago has come in and has been a big help)...

Sorry to rant, just a bit down right now....

[Withywindle]

1. OMG, HH, I am so, so sorry.

I'm a stranger on the internet, so I don't know how much this is worth, but I'm weeping for you and your mom right now. But mostly for you. She's at peace now and you aren't. Please know you can come here and vent any time, and there will be friends who will listen.


:hug: :hug: :hug:

[Flying Dream Blues]

2. I am so sorry for your loss...

I am so glad you were with your mom so you had a chance to say goodbye and thank her for being such a good mom. I'm glad your best friend is with you. I'm also glad you felt like sharing here so we could all join in giving you our support and virtual hugs.

:hug:

In times past, I've gone to the Bereavement group here at DU, and it's a very supportive place. I hope you find comfort and peace in good memories as you mourn your dear mom's passing.

:hug:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. I'm very sorry for your loss.

Losing a parent is very hard, no matter when or how it happens. My condolences. :hug:

[MissB]

4. I'm so sorry for your loss.

To lose her so quickly must be so difficult.

[dana_b]

5. my heart hurts for you

I know what it is like to lose one's mom while she is so sick in the hospital and I am sorry. My thoughts are with you. Please take it easy on yourself.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

6. So sorry that you had to go through it

My brothers and I went through four days of deathbed vigil with our mother earlier this year. :-(

[Bombero1956]

7. no need to be sorry

You lost your mother, believe me it is we who are sorry that you are suffering a loss. That is what we are here for. I offer you my deepest sympathies.

[astral]

8. I am sorry.

I know.

[lillypaddle]

9. So hard to lose a parent

no matter our age or theirs. I'm sorry for your loss, and the ordeal leading up to it.

:cry: :hug:

[EFerrari]

10. You must be exhausted.

Take good care, Hawaii Hiker.

[fizzgig]

11. i am so sorry

:hug:

[polly7]

12. I'm so sorry. May your Mom R.I.P. Take care of yourself.

[Tikki]

13. We are so sorry....

The Tikkis

[pokerfan]

14. I am so sorry

You're in my thoughts.

[Tyrs WolfDaemon]

15. Sending you good thoughts

It is never easy.
We lost my mom in July, she was in her mid-sixties. My dad called me in a panic since he couldn't get her to wake up. I ran to his side of the house to try and help but there was nothing we could do. The EMTs showed up and found a pulse, but hardly any breathing. They took her to the hospital where the machines kept her 'alive'. The Doctors did some thing where they put her into hypothermia (I still don't know what that was supposed to do). Once they brought her back out of that the testing showed that she just wasn't getting anywhere near enough oxygen to the brain. Basically she was dead when my dad first called me, the only thing working was the automatic functions. We think her oxygen machine may have allowed her to get just enough O2 to barely keep her body working, but that is just our non-professional guess. All that was left was her husk. She had been sick for a long time and while I hate to say it, I know that she didn't want to live anymore. She is at peace now and some of her organs were used to help several people in need. I'm sure she liked that we did that.

Sorry, I didn't mean to dump my stuff out there like this.

Just know that there are people here to help out. Ranting is permissible.

[Hawaii Hiker]

20. Thanks Tyrs

The one doctor said 3 minutes without ozygen is very bad on the brain, let alone 14 minutes, which is how long my mom was down....

And i know my mom would not have wanted to continue living w/the aliments she had...

[JohnnyLib2]

16. I'm so sorry.

My condolences for your loss. It takes such courage to stay the course, alone. Hugs.

:hug:

[Callalily]

17. I am so sorry for your loss.

I'm sure your mom knew that you were there for her and cared so much for her.

:hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

18. Oh, my! I am so very sorry! *hugs*

[struggle4progress]

19. ouch. that's rough to go through.

:(

[VenusRising]

21. My hearfelt condolences.

Take care of yourself.

:hug:

[KC]

22. I know this

is a difficult and sad time for you, but know there are people here that are willing to give
you hugs and support when you need someone to listen and care.

Hugs

[SammyWinstonJack]

23. ...

:hug:

[suninvited]

24. My condolences.

May you cherish her memory forever.

[hamsterjill]

25. My sympathies.

I'm so sorry. It sounds like you were hit hard with the medical circumstances involving your mother's passing. It's hard to be the only one that is "family" to have to make decisions, etc. I'm glad your best friend has been some help to you.

But from what I'm reading here, you were strong, careful, deliberate and made the best decision considering the circumstances that were given to you. I believe your mother would have been very proud of you.

Please accept my sympathies for her passing. I wish you peace and comfort.

[handmade34]

26. a hug for you

:hug:


though painful, you did good... been there and it's never easy

[Gormy Cuss]

27. I'm so sorry,

It's really tough to go through that with no close family for support.

[Swede]

28. Sorry for your loss, Hawaii Hiker.

May you and your family find peace.

[livetohike]

29. I'm so sorry for your loss Hawaii Hiker

:hug: I hope all the good memories of times with your Mom will help to ease the shock and sadness. I'm glad you were able to be with her for her final journey....

[MerryBlooms]

30. :*( So sorry. n/t

[Liberal_in_LA]

31. .

:grouphug:

[pacalo]

32. Hugs to you...

I'm so sorry.

:hug:

[sinkingfeeling]

33. Very sad. Hugs.

[applegrove]

34. So sorry for your loss. vibes to you.

[hedgehog]

35. I am so sorry for your loss, and want to reassure you that you did the right thing.

It's is hard to make that decision to let someone go, but it was the greatest gift you could give her.

[libodem]

36. I feel for you

What a grueling experience to go through on your own. So sorry for your loss.

[redwitch]

37. I am very sorry.

My mom passed in '04, still miss her very much. Glad your friend is there. :hug:

[wovenpaint]

38. My condolences to you

Please don't feel sorry for "ranting". It sure isn't taken that way!! It's so hard to lose your Mom...as I well know.
That must have been a lot for you to go through. And so suddenly....thankfully, you were able to be with her.

Be kind to yourself, as sorrow and grief are part of the healing process-and know that your Mom is ok. I'm sending good vibes on the way to you with the hope that your heart fills up with happy memories .:hug:

[RebelOne]

39. Nothing I can say to ease your pain, but you have my deepest sympathy. n/t

[betharina]

40. i am so sorry.

my sympathies to you.

[TuxedoKat]

41. So sorry

for the loss of your beloved mom. My dad went suddenly like that many years ago at age 68. It's tough but it gets easier. (((HUGS)))

[GoCubsGo]

42. I am so sorry.

Hug.

[bluesbassman]

43. So sorry for your loss Hawaii Hiker.

Safe passage to your mom and vibes of peace and comfort to you. :hug:

[MrMickeysMom]

44. My God... come here...

:hug:

I understand... and I'm so sorry.

You did such a good thing in the end.

[Hawaii Hiker]

45. Thank you VERY much everybody for your wonderful words of support

I truly appreciate it very much...

[K8-EEE]

46. oh no.....so so sorry!

Hugs for you!

[FloridaJudy]

47. I'm so sorry.

It's tough to lose a parent. :hug:

[Arugula Latte]

48. I'm so very sorry.

My mom is the same age, and my dad is gone, so I really feel your pain. :hug:

[tblue]

49. oh no!!!

I'm so sorry, sweetie. :hug:

[snacker]

50. So sorry...

sending loving thoughts your way.

[Aristus]

51. I'm sorry, Hawaii Hiker, you must feel awful.

We're with you... :grouphug:

[GoneOffShore]

52. Sorry to hear Hawaii Hiker.

Tough to lose a mom.

[sammytko]

53. Big hug to you sweetie. So sorry

[emilyg]

54. My deepest condolences.

[OhioBlue]

55. I am so sorry! my thoughts are with you.

:hug:

[Odin2005]

56. I'm sorry!

:hug:

[Dystopian]

57. Heartfelt condolences

So sorry for the loss of your beloved mother...
Thankful that you were with her...as it should have been...her only child.

In life, it's rare to have one good friend to see you through...
May you find peace and comfort.



Your beloved mother ...
Rest in Peace




peace~

[texanwitch]

58. I am so sorry that you have lost your Mother.

Even when they are in pain it is hard to see them go.

It is ok to cry, and to be sad.

I was with my Mother when she died, my brothers and sister didn't care to be there.

Take care of yourself and remember the good times.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[backwoodsbob]

59. damn

*hugs*

[lunatica]

60. I'm crying with you right now.

This is tough. You are very brave to do what you did. It was a good decision. Mourn her well. Lots of people wish they could go fast like that. I know I do.