Favorite Monty Python song?

[Paragon]

[JVS]

1. The "Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis" song

It is sung in the meaning of life shortly before Mr. Chrioso comes into the restaurant

[Paragon]

3. I know

Tough to leave that one off, but I think it's like 40-something seconds long.

[pagerbear]

14. But it's not length that's important, remember!

[asthmaticeog]

17. It's called "Not the Noel Coward Song"

BTW, the name's spelled "Creosote." It's a goo that comes from tar, IIRC. </obsessivegeek>

[Fenris]

2. Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?

Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy.
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.
Ooo thank you very much ladies and gentlemen!


My friends and I in middle school used to mull about singing this song. I was fortunate enough to own a copy of "The Meaning of Life" and it was treated as a Holy Grail, given it's R rating. I loaned that movie to everyone. And we'd often perform rousing renditions of this song at lunch, much to the tittering of ourselves and anyone near us.

[elperromagico]

4. "Medical Love Song,"

by Graham Chapman, John Du Prez and Eric Idle.

Inflammation of the foreskin
Reminds me of your smile.
I've had ballanital chancroids
For quite a little while.

I gave my heart to NSU
That lovely night in June.
I ache for you, my darling,
And I hope you get well soon.

My penile warts, your herpes,
My syphilitic sores.
Your moenelial infection,
How I miss you more and more...

[SarahB]

5. Lumberjack!

That's a favorite in my house. :D

[Paragon]

6. Honorable mention: Brave Sir Robin

Bravely bold Sir Robin
Brought forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die,
Oh, brave Sir Robin!
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave Sir Robin.

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp.
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken!
To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin.

His head smashed in and his heart cut out,
And his liver removed and his bowls unplugged,
And his nostrils raked and his bottom burnt off,
And his penis--

Robin (interupting): That's...That's, uh... That's enough music for now, lads. It looks like there's dirty work afoot.

Three Headed Knight: HALT!!!

Voice over: YES!! It was the dreaded Three Headed Knight, the fiercest creature for *yards* around! For second.... after second..., Robin held his own, but the onslaught proved too much for the brave knight. Scarcely was his armor damp, when Robin suddenly, dramatically, changed his tactics!

Minstrel: Robin:

Brave Sir Robin ran away. No!
Bravely ran away away.... I didn't!
When Danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled No!!
Yes brave Sir Robin turned about I didn't!
And gallantly chickened out..

Bravely bravely bravely bravely I never did!
Bravely bravely bravely bravely All lies!
Bravely bravely brave Sir Robin! I never!

[stellanoir]

7. uh. . .

as they're marching the extraneous children off for scientific experiments. . .


"every sperm is sacred
every sperm is pure. . .

let the heathen's spill them. . . "



best soliliquoy. .

"oh god you are so huge!

we all down here are really impressed"

[SOteric]

15. That would be my favourite.

Along with the corollary line later in the film when "...they were forced to eat Robin's minstrels. And there was much rejoicing."

[Ladyhawk]

18. This is one of my faves, too...right behind Every Sperm.

[DS1]

20. Best song, should've been in the poll

[TN al]

25. And it is so applicable to the events of today

check out my sig line

[tjwash]

30. Yes!!

And the "knights of the round table" song...

[Reciprocity]

8. Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

words and music by Eric Idle

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)

[JaySherman]

9. Drunken Philosopher's Song

A lovely ditty 'bout a bugger when he's pissed.

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

21. ooh, that's a fave - sing along, Bruce!

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable;

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table;

David Hume could out-consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel;

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as shloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
Bout the raising of the wrist...
Socrates himself was permanently pissed....

John Stuart Mill of his own free will
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill;

Plato they say could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day;

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram;

And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart
"I drink, therefore I am"

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed -
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed!

[kodi]

26. no doubt about it.

every time i hear the name emmanuel kant the next thoughts i have are ..."was a real pissant who was very rarely stable"

scary, and i have read a bunch of kant too.

[Ricdude]

34. It's the "Australian Philosopher's Song", and at a Holy Grail showing...

Back in college, the college theatre was playing Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and there was a volume or focus problem in the beginning of the movie. When they took the projector ofline, my friends and I began singing The Australian Philosopher's Song. We received a standing ovation for our rendition, at which point the movie was restored to working order. Bite that, Cable and Dish! =)

[bigmonkey]

10. Galaxy Song.

Took an astronomy class in the late 90's. The professor had us calculate how incorrect the figures given in the song are. The upshot is, if you memorize these lyrics you are actually learning astronomy- they are that accurate.

[blondeatlast]

11. I'm a Northern Arizona U. Lady Lumberjack! nt

[dolo amber]

12. I can't believe

no one's voted for clearly, the best song EVER. :D

Sit on my face and tell me that you love me.
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too.
I love to hear you oralise
When I'm between your thighs.
You blow me away!

Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you.
I'll sit on your face, and then I'll love you truly.
Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine
If we sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play
Till we're blown away!

(NO SEX THREADS, DOLO!! :spank:)

Most fun ever: Took our Japanese exchange student to the mall when we were in high school...the same day we taught him this song. Goma was...let's just say the *highly excitable* type...ran through the mall singing this in Engrish at the top of his lungs!! Man, I loved that kid, he was such a hoot!! :loveya: Goma!! :hi:

[AntiCoup2K4]

13. I actually had "Always Look On the Bright Side of Life" as a ringtone....

..on my cell for a couple months.

[MrSlayer]

16. The Penis song from Meaning of Life.

[asthmaticeog]

19. A few that deserve mention

Bruce's Philosophy Song
Eric the Half A Bee
Bing Tiddle Tiddle Bong

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

22. And another: Anything Goes

I think it's from the Contractual Obligation album, and here's why:

Anything goes in!
Anything goes out!
Fish, bananas, old pajamas,
Mutton, beef, and trout!

[bubblesby2002]

23. ".....spam spam spam spam

spam spam spam spam....":-)

[leftofthedial]

24. the brave brave sir robin song

is up there too.

[THUNDER HANDS]

28. that's loafie's favorite

She made me rewind that scene about 8,000 times.

[C_eh_N_eh_D_eh]

27. Galaxy Song, all the way.

Whenever life gets you down, Mrs. Brown
And things seem hard or tough
When people are stupid, obnoxious or daft
And you feel that you've had quite eno-o-o-o-o-ooouuuugghhhhh...

Just... reeeeemember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour
And orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned
A sun that is the source of all our pow'r
The sun, and you and me, and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm at forty thousand miles an hour
In a galaxy we call the Milky Way.

Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars
It's a hundred thousand light years side to side
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light years thick
But out by us it's just three thousand light years wide
We're thirty thousand light years from Galactic Central Point
We go round every two hundred million years
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe

<Cue instrumental number with Terry Gilliam endulging his Freudian side>

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whiz
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know
Twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is
So remember when you're feeling very small and insecure
How amazingly unlikely is your birth
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space
Cuz there's bugger all down here on Earth!

[redqueen]

33. That's my pick too

Thanks for the lyrics - saved me the trouble. :)

[Beware the Beast Man]

29. Brave Sir Robin

Definitely should be on the list...that song cracks me up just thinking abiout it.

[LynzM]

32. Yup, should be on there, for sure! n/t

[CBHagman]

31. True story about "Every Sperm Is Sacred"

I was sitting in church one Sunday and the monsignor decided to discuss NFP (natural family planning) in his homily. So as he's going on and on about the beauty of love between a married couple, my rattled, easily distractable brain is rerunning the production number from "Monty Python's the Meaning of Life."

"Every sperm is sacred! Every sperm is great!

If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate."