Thank Dog for "Mars Needs Moms"

[Taverner]

Rescuing "Yellow Submarine"

By Jere Hester




Disney’s epic failure to launch with "Mars Needs Moms" suggests the flick is sputtering toward becoming the "Ishtar" or "Heaven's Gate" of the motion-capture animation genre.

Which is a shame, because the bomb apparently has claimed another casualty: Disney has nixed plans to bankroll "Moms" producer Robert Zemeckis' 3-D motion-capture animation remake of the Beatles cartoon classic "Yellow Submarine," according to The Hollywood Reporter.

We were looking forward to seeing how Disney and Zemeckis, who gave us "Back to the Future," would breathe new life into the 1968 trippy voyage to Pepperland. No matter what sunk "Moms" – whether story issues or a movie market flooded with animated films or audiences sick of paying extra for 3-D glasses – "Yellow Submarine" arrives with a lot more going for it: a proven tale and 16 Beatles songs.

http://www.nbclosangeles.com/entertainment/movies/Rescuing-Yellow-Submarine-118026879.html

Yeah I know its a bit old, but I am so glad they did not remake this classic.

I mean why fuck with a classic?

A sequel I could tolerate. A remake or "reboot" (fuckitall I hate that word) would cheapen the Beatles. Oh - who did you want to do the new music? Justin Bieber? Miley Cyrus?

May "Mars Needs Moms" continue to hemorrhage like an open aorta!

[OmahaBlueDog]

1. Here is the remake Disney should do

Disney should present a challenge to the good folks at Pixar. Take the songs and stories (meaning the original songtrack, not remakes) from "Song of the South", and create a reimagined movie that is acceptable to todays audiences.

[Taverner]

2. Black History Professor with kids?

Actually, that sounds downright pandering...

Not sure if it could be done...

[OmahaBlueDog]

3. I think if anyone could, it would be Pixar

It's got really good sequences with realy good songs.

[alphafemale]

12. The "fable" parts are really fun and clever.

Maybe just those could be done.

[OmahaBlueDog]

13. That is actually what I meant

Remake the fables; use the original songs; and then put them into some other yet-to-be-figured out context.

[alphafemale]

14. Yeah. My other suggestion of showing what Uncle Remus's life was really like?

That would just make the entire thing sad.

Those stories should be done again though, because they are wonderful.

[alphafemale]

4. Just add some scenes of what Uncle Remus's life was really like.

He had to be deferential, amusing play thing to those white children.

Add some scenes with him and his wife at night venting his frustration. Show his tenderness, and fierce love to his own children. Show how is separated from his family when his wife and children are sold. Show him rending his clothes and wailing in grief in an empty slave cabin that night.

The absolute horror of witnessing everything worthwhile he had in life stripped from him.

Then in the closing scene the next day he is amusing and deferential and sings Zippadee-Doo-Dah to those little white children.

Because. He. Has. To.

Maybe then the reality would sink in a little.

Maybe also add in a little side note of how that privileged white guy got the credit for stealing Gullah stories.

[OmahaBlueDog]

5. The Coen Brothers could direct it.

They could cast Josh Brolin as the privledged white guy.

[Taverner]

7. Cast Josh Brolin as Joel Chandler Harris, the person who created the character

[alphafemale]

10. ??? why him. Actually by looks alone??? Gary Oldman?

If Gary had let his mom comb his hair and dress him.

:rofl:

[alphafemale]

9. I think Spike Lee could rip the shit out of it.

Part documentary. Part "re-imagined" scenes.

I'd go see that one.

[Taverner]

6. Add to that Uncle Remus NEVER EXISTED, and was a creation of Joel Chandler Harris

Joel Chandler Harris was a Northern Journalist who went South during Reconstruction.

He interviewed many folks, black and white, and thus 'Uncle Remus' was born

[alphafemale]

11. This is what GeeChee Gullah actually sounds like.

The culture JCH stole those stories from.

There's not a b'rer there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGcWNI6TyXg&feature=related

[alphafemale]

8. Some people STILL wouldn't get it though.

Racists/Apologists would see the closing scene as the joy he got of being around these beloved tiny white massa'a chillins made him completely forget his insignificant problems.

Maybe the closing scene should be of him staggering away after leaving the children, vomiting behind a bush and collapsing in gut-wending sobs.