FUCK! How do I tell my wife her favorite cousin just died? Her nephew just called, his mom died

[ohiosmith]

a few minutes ago. She was 53 and a little sister to my wife when they were growing up. She never drank or smoked but lived her entire life in " chemical valley" one of the most polluted areas of Canada. Last year she was diagnosed with liver cancer. It quickly spread to her stomach, lungs, and pacreas. My wife is on assignment until this Sunday. I'll have to determine if I should tell he now, or when she returns. Fucking hell!

[madinmaryland]

1. Sorry for the horrible news. My condolences to your wife and you.

:hug:

[ohiosmith]

4. Thanks. I just cracked a bottle of vodka. My wife will be calling in an hour or so.

I'm leaning toward waiting until she gets home.

[madinmaryland]

5. As alphafemale says, tell her. Unless she has a drive through bad road conditions,

I think she needs to know. Talk to her for as long as you can to let her know you are there for her.

[texanwitch]

2. I found that after my Father died it was very hard to tell people that he died.

It was telling people bad news and not being there to give them a hug.

I am sorry for your family and your wife.

Do what you think is best.

[alphafemale]

3. You should tell her now.

She should be able to call family now. If not they'll wonder.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

6. My dear ohiosmith...

My heart goes out to you and your wife on this dreadful loss...

I say tell her now. Someone else said it better...stay with her on the phone, weep with her, tell her what's in your heart...

Safe passage to her cousin...

:hug:

[nolabear]

7. I'm in the "Tell her" group.

First, I'm very, very sorry. It's heartbreaking to lose someone so young and so painfully. But I'd tell her unless you know it'll be too hard on her. You know her best but I think I'd want to know and be sad with the rest rather than more alone later.

So sorry, man.

[snagglepuss]

8. My condolences. A difficult situation. If it were just a matter of her being away a

say, I'd say wait but in this situation it might be best now. Her connecting with her beloved cousin's family at this time is important.

[RedCloud]

9. I just recently lost three with a fourth one any day now, so I do this...

I ask them to sit down.

Then they see the tears roll.

Make sure they are not driving or going to drive.

It gets harder as the day goes by.

I would do this if she can get a ride back from wherever she is.

When my mom passed I was looking at the clock thinking about JFK was about to be killed, but a strong sensation of another death came over me. Then it was word about Momma Red Cloud.

because of this, if your wife is strong willed do tell her as it may be in the "cosmic highway" already.

[ohiosmith]

10. Thank you. When my wife called last evening, she already knew. One of her other cousins sent her a

text. Although the news was upsetting, it was not unexpected. She is contacting her relatives during breaks in her schedule.

[alphafemale]

12. a text?!!?

:wtf:

[ohiosmith]

13. Not as bad as I made it sound. The text was to call asap. Mea culpa.

[alphafemale]

15. okay. that sounds better.

no apology needed though. :hug:

[LibertyLover]

11. Years ago, my best friend had the same problem -

her parents were on a cruise to Alaska and on the opposite side of the country when her mother's brother died. Her mom had a heart condition and my friend was afraid that if she called the ship and told her mom about her brother's death, the consequences might be bad. So she waited to tell her mom when the parents got home. It was only 2 days and her parents would be able to attend the wake and the funeral. Her mother understood why her daughter had made the decision she did, but she said afterwards that she wished her daughter had called to tell her. Put me in the "I think you should tell your wife about her cousin now" column.

[dembotoz]

14. like good whiskey--straight up