I was thinking about Willy Wonka the other day...

[jmowreader]

You can pretty much tell Willy Wonka had already decided Charlie Bucket was going to get the factory before he let the kids in because the first four were too rotten, and the other four were lured into situations that forced them to face up to their own abhorrent behavior--Augustus' gluttony (punished by being sucked through a pipe and dumped into a fudge kettle), Violet's obnoxiousness (being turned into a blueberry), Veruca's greed (getting dumped onto a trash heap) and Mike's sloth (being shrunk to three inches high). There's a lot of work that goes into kicking some kid's ass...you've got to choose the right rooms to maximize the odds they'll get stupid, devise a route to the next room (so you can run off all four loser children in the shortest time possible), having the Oompa-Loompas write songs relevant to each event, finding Oompa-Loompas who can sing so you don't wind up with ones who sing like Roseanne Barr trying to get off the National Anthem at a baseball game...

Now! Let's say that instead of Augustus Gloop, Violet Beauregard, Veruca Salt and Mike Teavee finding the Golden Tickets, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin and Rick Scott were the lucky winners. What would Willy Wonka choose as their primary moral failings, and what would he do to them?

[redwitch]

1. oompa loompa doopity do

I've got another puzzle for you...

What do get when your kid won't abstain
And your "news" show host's certifiably insane?
Quitting, complaining all day long
Everything they say is provably wrong

You get rev
you get rev
you get revolution

oompa loompa doopa da de
If you are wise you'll kill your TV...

They're trying to kill the poor and middle class
Together they give me a pain in the ass
If I hear Rush's voice I will smash something
How can he
how can he

be such a greedy wing------ nut





OK, needs work but I'm too tired. Consider this a first draft= edit away :-)

oompa loompa doop da deep
the gov of wisconsin's a horrible creep
oompa loompa doopa de do

[WolverineDG]

2. Willy Wonka hates kids

always made me wonder why people thought it was a kiddie story.

dg

[nolabear]

3. There's no way of knowing... where this thread is going...

Actually Rushbo as Augustus Gloop isn't so much of a stretch.

[jmowreader]

5. What I was thinking...

Rush would be dinged for Hypocrisy--calling Michelle Obama out for having fattening foods sometimes, for instance. Wonka would strip him naked and fly him all over London hooked to the Great Glass Elevator by his ankles.

Palin would get hers for Untruthfulness. He'd change her Twitter and Facebook passwords to something he won't tell her, take her beauty products away and dump her in the middle of a Democratic Party rally.

Beck, of course, gets tagged for Nazism. He'd get a one-way ticket to Treblinka.

Rick Scott would be hauled up for Criminal Malfeasance, Fraud and Misrepresentation. He'd receive one of those tours of The Tower of London..."oh, I'm sorry governor, we haven't seen the key to that cell in centuries. Too bad you closed the door behind you and it latched, huh?"

[mysuzuki2]

4. What would happen is they would try to eliminate

collective bargaining in the factory and the oompa loompas would beat them all to death.