Dachshunds with erections...

[MiddleFingerMom]

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...can't climb stairs.
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YouTube performance:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDyL1TYaGeU
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DACHSHUNDS WITH ERECTIONS CAN'T CLIMB STAIRS
by Les Barker

Each night she's on the balcony
He loves her from afar
His soft, sad eyes are hypnotised
She shines down like a star.
His heart will break forever
His kind can't have affairs
For Dachshunds with erections...
Can't climb stairs.

His home's a humble bungalow
And her's a penthouse flat
He cannot go where she can go
And that, they say. is that.
He never can be near her
Although she knows he cares
For Dachshunds with erections...
Can't climb stairs.

You want to win a woman?
Just be cool... be aloof
The dog who doesn't hit the stairs
Can make it to the roof.
The dog who doesn't care
Will be the dog who wins the day
You'll never get to heaven...
With your chopper in the way.

The spirit soars, the body falls
And heavy lies the heart
That cries out with the pain of love
Be still my broken part.
How painful is the passion
And painful the repairs
For Dachshunds with erections
Can't climb stairs.

[Sanity Claws]

1. Les Barker is brilliant

Here he is doing Guide Cats for the Blind, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwoTM-wZXY4&feature=related

[MiddleFingerMom]

2. Yes he is, and I wish...

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...and I WISH I could have found the studio version of "Dachshunds..."
with The Mrs Ackroyd Band backing him up.
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Those snooty, proper British ladies backing him up in choir form makes
it even funnier.
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[UTUSN]

3. I have one of those. It's a mini.

But even without stairs, he's just barely not tall enough to reach his girlfriend. He finally figured out the position, but all for naught, unless *he* gets something out of it for himself. (I'll Edit if I've crossed a line.)