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Do any of you have ex's who show up at family get togethers?

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Joe Fields Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-22-10 11:47 PM
Original message
Do any of you have ex's who show up at family get togethers?


Just curious.

I am choosing to be alone this Thanksgiving, rather than be with my brothers and sisters and their children. My soon-to-be ex is attending.

I think it all rather strange.
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 12:02 AM
Response to Original message
1. you're gonna give her that kind of power?
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Joe Fields Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 12:48 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. no, I am giving myself that amount of peace.
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 12:54 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. whatever
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madinmaryland Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 12:56 AM
Response to Reply #3
6. I thought you were too busy kicking some ass to post.
Yes Indeed!

:hi:
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K8-EEE Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 09:10 PM
Response to Reply #1
23. A LOT of people don't really like these get togethers....
If it's something you really love to do, it's giving the person power -- if it's something you are happy to have an excuse not to do, that's different...
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K8-EEE Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 09:10 PM
Response to Reply #1
24. A LOT of people don't really like these get togethers....
If it's something you really love to do, it's giving the person power -- if it's something you are happy to have an excuse not to do, that's different...
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madinmaryland Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 12:55 AM
Response to Original message
4. Uhhh. I got invited by my ex's sister's family to her holiday.
Took my son with me to her dinner. The ex didn't show.

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Iggo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 12:56 AM
Response to Original message
5. oh dear gawd no
uh-uh

nuh-uh

no way
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emilyg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 01:52 AM
Response to Original message
7. Till he remarried my
ex was always included in family gatherings.
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murielm99 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 04:02 AM
Response to Original message
8. Quite a few years ago, I went to Florida with some
friends. Purely by chance, I ran into my best friend's ex. When we took a group picture, he insisted on being in the picture. He didn't know anyone in the group except me, but he just had to be in the picture.

When I showed the picture to my friend, she just about shit her pants. He was that kind of guy.
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some guy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 04:15 AM
Response to Original message
9. No.

And there's lots of exes in my family. I have an ex sister-in-law I get along with, but I wouldn't invite her and my brother to the same event. That would just be rude to my current sister-in-law (and my brother too.)

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NewJeffCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 05:18 AM
Response to Original message
10. No
never happened, and did not happen in reverse either (me showing up at an ex's get together)
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In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 09:14 AM
Response to Original message
11. Yep.
Many years ago, I met my ex-husbands ex-wife near the family Christmas Tree.


Enjoy the peace and quiet your way.

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BillStein Donating Member (403 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 09:51 AM
Response to Original message
12. I tried to stay friendly with my ex
partly because my family stayed close with him.... but dammmit, he hurt me! I wonder sometimes why my feelings count for so little.
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Arkansas Granny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 11:08 AM
Response to Original message
13. My ex and his current wife show up quite frequently at family get togethers.
We've been divorced for a long time (over 30 years), but we made an agreement early on that we would be civil to each other in front of the kids and not badmouth each other in their presence since we would have contact for years to come because of them. We indicated those wishes to our respective families and they agreed to the same terms. It wasn't always easy.

It certainly made things easier on the kids when they were young and now that they are grown and have families of their own. They don't have to chose which one of us to have over to family gatherings or how we'll react when we are there together. We'll never be close, but we do have some history together. His current wife understands how things are and she's fine with it. We even exchange Christmas gifts.

Every relationship is different, however, and so are ex-relationships. What we have done requires full cooperation from all parties, which is sometimes hard to achieve.
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Joe Fields Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 06:43 PM
Response to Reply #13
18. Thank you. We are not divorced yet, but will be very soon.
We have been married 24 years. We have a 24 year old son.

The way I see it, she has her own family. She has been on cordial terms with my side of the family, but never friendly.

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zipplewrath Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 11:42 AM
Response to Original message
14. Kids can define everything
My wife's son got married, and so the ex-husband (his father) was obviously there, but so was her ex-boyfriend (who had befriended the son when the son was in his mid teens). Did I mention it was a 4 DAY wedding? I've been involved in various "family" events in which ex's were present because of the relationship to children.
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lazarus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 11:53 AM
Response to Original message
15. no, but
she could show up at a family reunion if she wanted. I recently found out we're tenth cousins. :eyes:
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auntAgonist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 12:00 PM
Response to Original message
16. My ex-husband and his wife are always invited to our
Granddaughter's birthday celebrations. It was a tad uncomfortable at first but it's fine now. I enjoy seeing them. There is no animosity.

aA
kesha
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seaglass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 02:01 PM
Response to Original message
17. My divorced parents always spend Christmas together with the whole family.
I will count myself very fortunate that my parents were able to put their differences aside so we could all be together every year. We were not little kids however, my parents divorced when I was 27.

I certainly can understand why it does not work for everyone. If my husband and I divorced I don't think I could tolerate seeing him at family gatherings, it would be too hurtful.
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yankeepants Donating Member (602 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 06:50 PM
Response to Original message
19. My sister would collect my ex's.
Edited on Tue Nov-23-10 07:13 PM by yankeepants
So I would always have that awkward moment at family gatherings when I had to introduce my current to my pasts and get on with it.

Ok, my current has been current for 21 years but it was still weird with two or three of the old ones there.
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styersc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 07:20 PM
Response to Original message
20. I always invited ex, her husband, there son and his kids to things.
We have a daughter together and I tried to have the best divorce possible. She regularly stabbed me in the back, but I took the scars for my daughter. Painfull but my responsibility.
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fishwax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 07:43 PM
Response to Original message
21. my parents are divorced, but my mom remains close to all of my dad's family
she's a fixture at family events, and I don't think anyone would have it any other way. I think it all depends on circumstance ...
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Maine-ah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-23-10 09:08 PM
Response to Original message
22. my in-laws
are divorced and both of them are usually at family gatherings...birthdays and holidays. They also only live 500 feet down the road from each other. They get along great :) some people just really are better off friends than married.
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