So, this pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel shoved down his pants.

[Bucky]

Then the bartender looks at him and says, "You know you have a steering wheel in your pants?"

The pirate replies, "Yar! And it’s drivin’ me nuts!"

[yankeepants]

1. A car battery walks into a bar and orders a beer

The bartender says "OK, but don't start anything.

[MilesColtrane]

2. A baby seal walks into a bar.

The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll you have?".

The seal replies, "Anything but a Canadian Club."

[Xithras]

3. A screwdriver walks into a bar....

The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

The screwdriver responds, "You have a drink named Murray?"