Never, ever, buy your teenager a 3-door Saab!

[jmowreader]

Today I took someone to the store to pick up a largish item. He was bitching about needing to pick up something that wouldn't fit in his own car, so I took him in mine.

One of the fun features of Saab 900s is if you flip forward the seat base and fold down the seat back, the whole back end of the car becomes one cavernous space--plenty of space to haul fairly large items.

Or...

The guy took one look at this area and said, "you know, you could fuck in here pretty easily." Which never occurred to me, but yes, you could easily have sex in the back of that car.

Therefore: parents, if you give your kid a 3-door Saab you are not only providing him with a reasonably safe automobile but also one with a built-in place to screw his or her brains out. So don't do that.

[petronius]

1. My recollections are a bit fuzzy, but I seem to recall that teenagers are

able to fuck pretty easily in any space larger than a breadbox - so you might as well give them the Saab for safety and toss in a couple of wet-wipes...

[jmowreader]

2. A four-door would be better for your teenager

The four-door has three advantages over the three-door:

It's just as safe as the three-door, which may not be an advantage but it's not a disadvantage either
It's too narrow to really comfortably fuck in
AND it's going to be cheaper than the three-door: all the cool kids want the three-door because they look much cooler, so there's less demand for the four-door car.

[hippywife]

19. Add a couple of condems to that. n/t

[PJPhreak]

3. my car as a teen was a 72 Chevy Caprice Stationwagon,Like This...

Thanks Dad!!

[Ineeda]

4. I have fond memories of a red Mustang convertible in 1964....

with bucket seats, of course. Didn't stop me at 17!! :P

[Maine-ah]

5. meh, we did it in my 1989 VW Jetta GLI

it's not the size of the car that matters....it's how you use it :evilgrin:

kids will always find a way.

[Phentex]

6. Don't buy him a Toyota Tercel liftback either!

Dangerous! Danger!

just sayin' :blush:

[hayu_lol]

7. LOL...for the really old folks on here...

in the early 50s, remember the clamor that went up from parents when Nash put in front seats that folded down into a double bed? Certain elements of society went nuclear over that development.

[hunter]

8. Yep...

[XemaSab]

21. Those chicks are giving each other a look

:o

[bif]

9. A teenager can fuck in just about any vehicle

Believe me. How about a 67 Chevy Malibu?

[david13]

10. How about an old Volkswagen Beetle. I get a sore back if I even think about it. dc

[Roon]

11. I always had vans when I was a kid

they were used mostly for partying with my friends than fucking though.

[MrScorpio]

12. I used to screw in an AMC Gremlin

So, despite it all, where there's a will... there's a way

[jmowreader]

15. Plenty of room to screw in a Gremlin...

[AngryAmish]

13. 76 Impala 4 door

Very large back seat.






Just saying.

[flvegan]

14. Meh. My Corvettes were two-seaters...

I've said enough.

[KG]

16. plenty of room to screw in the back of my 72 pinto hatchback.

in '77.

when i weighed like 150 lbs. :P

[zonkers]

17. Isnt the 900 Saab history? Gave away my 88. Repairs started costing too much.

That hatchback was awesome and roomy, yes. That series definitely deserves a reimagining.

[Kali]

18. why pick ups will never go out of style

even old fat people still fit in the back:rofl:

[bluedigger]

20. Yeah. They'd never figure something else out. n/t