"It would be nice if the world thought of me as something more."

[Seneca]

And that is the saddest quote in the obituary of one Gary Coleman, uttered by the subject himself.

He was a man beset by many troubles in life: bad health, estranged parents, domestic violence episodes, drug addiction, financial hardships, and finally, an inability to be fulfilled at the core of his being.

Some of those things - like his congenital kidney defect - were beyond his control. But how the world felt about him? That never should have mattered. He was in a rough business, starting in it as a child. A business which considers you nothing more, as Hitchcock once said, than "cattle". A business which relies on many insecure, unfulfilled people, whose bottomless pit of neediness and cries for attention can never be sated.

That to me, was the biggest tragedy of young Gary's life. He allowed himself to be trapped, like Howard the Duck (I quote the comic book, *not* the film), in a "world he never made".

To some extent, we all live in a world we never made. But we can shape our little corner of it. It's hard, and I do not begrudge anyone their difficulties in shaping it. Gary tried his damnedest. Unfortunately, he cared too much of what the world thought of him. It was how he thought of himself that truly mattered. Maybe he got that, in the end, finally. We'll never know.

The lesson I draw from his moment of self-reflection: Do not seek validation from outside yourself, especially in a world full of strangers. Make yourself matter. To yourself.

Be at peace, Mr. Coleman.


Source of his quote here: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100529/ap_on_en_tv/us_obit_gary_coleman

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. It's very hard to not seek validation outside yourself...

Especially if you never got that from your parents or whoever raised you. That creates a need that never really goes away...

Perhaps that was the trouble with him...I don't know.

I too wish him peace now...

Yours is a lovely, thoughtful post. Thank you...

[RandomThoughts]

2. I remember him on a vh1 special.

A group of people that were celebrities were tasked to run a buisness for a shift. Most of the people were not taking it seriously, they were playing the reality TV shtick.

I remember on that show, he wanted the place ran correctly, and even left in frustration. I remember that show, he wanted to do what someone is suppose to do in that job, he was trying.


I am also glad he got the security job at the movie theater, but figure that must have been hard on him, being so close to what he use to do, but not part of it.


I also hope he rests in peace, and finds some measure of comfort that was not part of much of his mortal life.


Rest in peace,
Dear sir
Gary Coleman.