My kid found his half sisters and half brother

[MissMillie]

His dad pretty much cut him out of his life (long before he died), and so he had no contact w/ anyone on that side. My family has been terrific, so my son's got a great grasp on how a functional family behaves.

Well, not so much on the other side.

His siblings apparently don't want anything to do with him. He got a letter from one (who is claiming to speak for them all) saying that they've worked hard to put that part of their life behind them and move on with their lives, and they just don't want to go backward.

Now, we're talking about 3 kids from 2 different mothers. Interestingly enough, the oldest is perfectly willing to have a relationship with the younger two, but somehow having a relationship with MY son would mean that they're not getting on with their lives.

They have each other. As dysfunctional as their dad was (alcoholic) they had him too.

My son hasn't had any of it.

He just wanted to know them.

I'm really hurting for my son right now.

[GreenPartyVoter]

1. Sounds like he may be better off. I was shocked to find out my mother had a half-brother from her

dad's previous marriage. I'm not sure if she ever met him or anything.

:hug: to you and your son.

[tango-tee]

2. Dear MissMillie,

But *what* did they have when, as you said: "As dysfunctional as their dad was (alcoholic) they had him too".

Your child may be so much better off not having had this father in his life. The point really is "who knows?". No one does.

As far as your son getting to know his siblings is concerned... They may be so hard at work trying to come to grips with the problems they had to deal with throughout their lives as children of an alcoholic father, that there may not be any capacity left over to welcome a new sibling.

I can very well imagine that you are hurting for your son who you feel was rejected. There is no cut-and-dried good or bad in these situations. Leave it be for the moment. Forcing contact might confront your son with a really bad situation he isn't equipped to deal with.

Still, wishing you and your son a good outcome! :hug:

[ceile]

3. Very sorry for your son.

That's my worst fear. I have 2 half-sisters that I would like to reach out to, but I'm terrified of the rejection.

[madmom]

4. ALWAYS remember....You can pick your friends,but not your family! He sounds like he's much

better off without them. It will hurt for awhile, but he will be the better one for taking the first step.:hug: