Personal ads I don't answer

[WileEcoyote]

Maybe you can give your own examples:

Women seeking men:


"Single woman, never married living in East Bay. Love my cats! Hobbies: Paper mache, old books, collecting shoes, macrame, all flavors of Sara Lee cakes, and (of course) cats, cat toys, books about cats. Kind of a home body. Love Seinfeld re-runs!

You: Intrigued by Danielle Steel (I have read ALL her books), don't talk about cars, golf and especially NO football.

Let's meet at the Berkeley Women's Festival and talk feminist issues. Platonic relationship seekers only.

[wickerwoman]

1. I once saw an ad for a roommate that ran something like:

"Man seeking quiet, non-smoking roommate. Must be petite Asian female."

Really got me wondering who the hell would answer that one.

[velvet]

2. "all flavors of Sara Lee cakes" ... tempting

As was this ...

No one loves a cynic

We now revisit an old familiar story. You are not put off by the ego driven profile - we'll exchange 'kisses', I'll email and after a few more emails we'll talk on the phone and probably follow that up with a coffee . We'll meet again, become more intimate and eventually start dating regularly. The relationship will commence and travel along familiar roads. We'll start leaving the odd thing at each others homes, we'll spend weekends together, talk about our next holiday and where we should go. We'll laze around on Sundays - maybe lying together in bed all day - confirming to each other that the lovemaking was the 'best ever'.

Sometimes we'll disagree, usually about something trivial, the disagreements will become more frequent. We'll start seeing a bit less of each other - you'll come over one evening to pick up a 'few things' and we'll both know what that means. You'll go back to your place and weep over another lost six months(or whatever) - and I'll start to drink more (maybe vice versa) - and we'll both regret the time we spent travelling along another emotional cul de sac.

Do either of us need more hassle and strife in our already strained lives? Can your body and mind survive another round of expectation, joy, sorrow, fear and disappointment? I don't think so! Why don't we just save us both the pain and strife - just send me a nice card at Xmas ( you could put a little something in it if you wished as a small thank you for services not rendered - 50 bucks would be nice) and we'll call it quits now. Isn't that much simpler??

[WileEcoyote]

3. Beautiful Velvet!

O my gawd that's exactly the kind of awful personal ad I was looking for. Bravo!

Note the CONTROL issue: She is directing the itinerary prior to even meeting the boy. What woman would want a guy so willing to act like a doormat?

Then it gets totally defeatist. Sort of like in sales training when our manager told us what not to say: "You don't really want to buy this product anyway do you?"

[velvet]

4. except it was posted by a man

And I reckon it's totally tongue-in-cheek. Or maybe just utterly jaded. But it's still beautiful.