I can't tell you how bad it sucks to be choosing a sympathy card

[lukasahero]

for an old family friend when your own father is dying.

My dad is dying and one of his best friends just died. Tonight I found myself in CVS trying to find a sympathy card for his wife while my own father lays dying. I'm pretty sure I scared the guy who happened upon the sympathy card aisle.

There's only so much one can handle before cracking...

[Haole Girl]

1. Oh... I'm so sorry

:cry:

:hug:

[lukasahero]

5. Thanks

I thought I saw your name on a "life sucks" post recently but couldn't find it through the search. Anyway, I send you :hug:s in return and hope that life is well with you.

[Haole Girl]

8. I'm fine...

thank you. :hug:

[texanwitch]

2. That is really rough.

Maybe you can pick one out like you are sending it to yourself.

I so sorry to hear about you Dad.



:hug: :hug: :hug:

[lukasahero]

3. That actually made me smile -- thanks

That was part of the problem - I was standing there wondering which ones my friends would be sending me shortly...

It just sucks. I'm just gonna sit here and get plastered tonight - I should be in fine shape for the service tomorrow morning. :(

Thanks for the hug.

[Spacemom]

4. I'm sorry you're going through this

I remember buying a Mother's Day card for my mom when it was obvious she only had a few weeks left. Knowing it would be the last one had me crying in the aisle at CVS. It's the things like that that can break you down. The devil's in the details.

Be gentle with yourself. :hug:

[lukasahero]

6. Whew

Yeah. I won't even tell you about having to return dad's xmas presents - sounds like you already know.

You wanna know the one thing that shreds me every time I think of it? My mom and dad have been watching Lost on dvd since it's first season was released. They don't watch it live because they started watching it on dvd and that's how they like to do it.

Well, this is Lost's final season and they've decided to watch it live. My dad's probably never going to learn how it all turns out.

Is that the stupidest thing you've ever heard - that I cry every time I think of my dad not knowing how Lost turns out?

:(

Thanks for your kind words - and I'm sorry for your loss. :hug:

[Spacemom]

10. It's not stupid at all

I know exactly what you mean. My mom and I always liked the same movies and books and would compare notes. After she passed, it was probably a year before I "caught up" with her on movies she'd seen and books she'd read. As it became obvious that there would be no more discussions about these things I'd get so sad. There was even one book I left on the bookshelf for a long time because I knew she'd read it, and I knew once I read it, I'd be "ahead" of her.

Again, I'm sorry. And don't think any of these feelings are stupid, they are totally normal. These feelings show you have a tender heart, and better that than the alternative. :hug: :hug:

[lukasahero]

11. What a beautiful story you have

My dad and I were always "allies" in the family so I know what you mean. No one in my family will ever "get" me the way he does.

Thanks for your words. They help.

[mnhtnbb]

7. Damn. What can anybody say? I'm sorry...

:hug:

[Swede]

9. Tough time lukasahero.

I hope you all find peace.

[Texasgal]

12. oh jeez.. I am so sorry

Shopping sympathy cards bring out so much. What a wonderful person you are for sending one though. :hugs: It really means alot to the recipinet...

[LibDemAlways]

13. My husband lost his dad unexpectedly on Christmas Eve 1998. He

called his father to wish him a Merry Christmas and a police officer answered the phone. The body had been discovered by my husband's niece who summoned the authorities. It was a horrible experience - made worse by the timing.

I lost my own dad this past July 29th. He had been suffering from dementia and had really gone downhill quickly. My 86-year-old mom was doing her best to care for him but the ordeal was starting to take its toll. He died of a heart attack right in front of her in the middle of eating his lunch. I suspect she'll never get over it.

I guess the reason I'm sharing this is to let you know that I've been in your shoes and understand what you are going through. Hang in there and know that you have friends and family not only in the real world but here on DU. I wish you peace and healing as you go through a very difficult time.

By the way that sympathy card will be very much appreciated by your dad's friend's wife. Receiving expressions of condolence mean more to a grieving person than words can say. You are a very thoughtful person to reach out to others when you are in the midst of your own ordeal. I will keep you in my thoughts.

LDA

[lukasahero]

14. Thank you

I appreciate your kind words and sharing your story. I'm sorry for your loss. I can't imagine your husband's trauma.

:hug: